Today was one of those day that i felt emotional at work. I was being cornered by people who tried to tai-ji. I hate the feeling of being cornered to do the tasks that other people refused to even try. If you are able to lift your finger and make an effort to they to make the whole process a better one, and help someone, why won't you try? I felt angry. People can be so selfish and senseless. So..i wrote out a few harsh emails, direct and it sounded angry. But i cannot deal with such selfish attitudes and i started to draw boundaries with all the stupid assholes. The terrible behaviour of showing me selfishness made my chest became tight cos i was overwhelmed with anger and exasperation. Boundaries made me feel balanced.
I was restless. And for a moment, i miss Sean. Lunch escapades to nice food and more nice food. Talk nonsense and laugh. The gentle demeanour. On the last week of his notice period, i told him i will miss him. And he said "I'm just a few blocks away from you". He meant it literally.
At this moment on my bed, i willed myself to cry. By thinking of Matthew and Joshua, and how bad my life would be if i lose my family. Crying releases all the pent up negative emotions and cleanses the soul. An hour ago, Samuel has trouble falling asleep and he started crying and said "i keep on crying, it's a sad day today" hahaha Talk about being connected.
I really should sleep now.
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