22 January, 2015 - Emotional Weaklings

I often wonder why are some people so weak emotionally. Why is there a need to feel insecure, be overtly sensitive, be whiners, attention seeking, often putting others down etc

By being over sensitive in a bad way LEADS TO -> suspicious of everyone -> very insecure -> put others down OR whine/complain/sulk/wallow in self pity THEN -> seek attention to validate own existence again and again. And again. And again. So bloody irritating isn't it??

Just saying.

All of us are a bit of everything but when these traits are not under control and we don't learn how to deal with it, our negative emotions spiral out of control and we become slaves to our own negativities. And of cos that will inconvenience the people around us by creating emotional stress. These people are equally as toxic as poisonous gas.
(Thank you Edwin haha for planting this equation in my head. One day, there will be a right time to share with u-know-who to officially seek psychiatric help)

While searching for "how to deal with emotionally weak people", I found the below article instead. And i "LIKE"

Here are some things emotionally strong people don’t do:

1. They don’t let negativity and drama get the best of them. – Your brain is a radio transmitter.  It broadcasts thoughts, directions and vibrations into your life – you get to choose the station it’s tuned to.  Emotionally strong people understand this and tune out negativity to make room for positivity.  Be wise enough to follow in their footsteps.  Walk away from the nonsense around you.  Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.
2. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. – Emotionally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.  Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair.  In the end, happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them.  So look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
3. They don’t think they need more to be happy. – Emotionally strong people know that happiness is a mindset of appreciation.  In other words, happiness doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved.  Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have.  
4. They don’t compare their journey to everyone else’s. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness.  Do YOUR best and don’t compare your progress with that of others.  They aren’t YOU.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  Emotionally strong people know this is the truth, and they live by it.
5. They don’t envy and resent other people’s success. – Emotionally strong people can genuinely appreciate and celebrate other people’s success.  They don’t grow envious or feel cheated when others achieve something they are trying to achieve.  Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.  True confidence has no room for envy and resentment.  When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.
6. They don’t expect everything to be easy. – Emotionally strong people don’t view failures and delays as reasons to give up.  Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve.  They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.  Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, emotionally strong people don’t expect immediate results.  Instead, they apply their efforts and skills to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.
7. They don’t say, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”  Emotionally strong people know this is true.  If you really want to do something, you can and you will find a way.  If you don’t, you will surely find a long list of excuses.  So stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.”  Turn your “can’ts” into “cans” and your dreams into plans.
8. They don’t let fleeting temptations distract them from their dreams. – Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve.  Stay emotionally strong.  Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later.
9. They don’t get impatient and settle. – Good things don’t come to those who wait.  Good things come to those who are patient… while working hard for what they want most in life.  If you know what you want, if you can see it, feel it and move toward it in some small way every single day… it has to happen.  Be patient and keep working.  That’s what emotionally strong people do.  
10. They don’t make the same exact mistakes over and over again. – You can’t make the same mistake twice.  Because the second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.  Emotionally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes.  As a result, they don’t keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.  Instead, they grow and move on to better decisions and new lessons.
11. They don’t resist change. – Emotionally strong people don’t try to avoid change.  Instead, they welcome positive change into their life and are willing to be flexible.  They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.  Change happens for a reason.  Roll with it!  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
12. They don’t waste time and energy on things they can’t control. – You won’t hear an emotionally strong person complaining over traffic jams and rainy days.  Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives.  And above all, they recognize that sometimes the only thing they can control is their attitude.  After all, inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions.
13. They don’t hang on every word other people say about them. – Emotionally strong people listen to their own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery.  So try not to take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.  Ultimately, you can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.  All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
14. They don’t think everyone is out to get them. – Emotionally strong people choose to see the good in others.  Because the truth is, the world is full of good people.  Whoever says otherwise hasn’t looked around.  So look around.  Appreciate them.  Connect and smile together.  When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.
15. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone. – Emotionally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time.  They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary.  They strive to be compassionate and fair, but can handle other people being disappointed if they didn’t perfectly live up to their unfair expectations.  The bottom line is, pleasing everyone is impossible.  May the bridges you burn light your way.  
16. They don’t think it’s too late to start over. – Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over.  Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t… even if it means beginning anew.  Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.  Time passes one way or the other.  Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”

20 January, 2015 - NCSS's email

I was checking my emails this morning and got a pleasant surprise, NCSS has written to inform me that I am invited to attend a networking session with employers on the 2nd Feb, Monday. I am very happy to receive this email because it means another step forward.. even if it is a very small step with no guaranteed success.  I submitted my application of interest last December right after i attended the conference for a mid career switch to be a social worker. "Just do your part, God will do the rest." they say. "He will open doors if it is His plan and close all doors not meant to be." I leave all in His hands while i dutifully replied the email to confirm my attendance and also completed another round of survey tonight.

My mum asked if I have the interest to be a social worker and i replied her that it's no longer if I'm interested but doing what God wants me to do. Though i admit that i still have my doubts and uncertainties if this is really from God or something that is in my face so much so that i began to think it's a calling. But regardless of this doubt, dear God, please open or close doors or if it's a wait, i will wait.

Random thoughts...

Putting Samuel in this childcare is one of the best decision i have made for him as I watched him grow smarter and more outspoken day by day.  Yet, it is also like a double edge sword.. Sometimes i'm wrecked with guilt for not being able too stay home for Samuel and spend more time with him. Something that my mum could not do for us when we were young because she needs to work. And the thought of putting him in a student care in future makes me feel like a lousy mother. It feels like depositing my only child in a faraway place from home to be taken care of by strangers. Anyway, i guess i will worry about that bit when the time comes..

Death.. the pain of dealing with the loss if a loved one can be overwhelming..so much so that even breathing seemed laboured.

Life is so short, there are so many "what-ifs", "i wish", "if only" etc. We only live once and we should really live life with gratitude everyday. Less grumblings, less unhappiness but more tolerance, more appreciation, more love, more forgiveness and more positive thinking. For all the bad things that happened and all the mean people that we meet, there are always the wonderful events and people around us. What won't kill us can only make us stronger.

Joshua and Matthew, are you with grandpa in heaven? Is heaven for real?

Seek, Ask, Pray  Amen

13 January, 2015 - Don't call me poor

I saw this documentary < Don't call me poor >  on Channel News Asia yesterday evening and i feel sad that in such an affluent country like Singapore, so many people actually starve and do not have a place to stay. How is that possible, i asked myself. What happened to them while Singapore was growing economically and holistically? Why didn't they pick up any of the benefits of a growing country? 

Was in lack of education? Lack of information? Lack of a head start in life perhaps.

I noticed a similarity in the people being interviewed for this program. Simple minded.  How can you decide to have three kids when you are living in poverty in rented one room flat, with the third child being an "accident" one.  The mother chose to work as a cashier in a fast food chain because it allows her the flexibility to fetch her youngest son from a neighbourhood childcare. The other two elder daughters are in a primary school, suffering from lack of many things, in her own words.  How, then can she allow this "accident" to happen? Knowing that she can ill afford another child, why bring another one to this world to suffer together? The father gave some crap excuse that he cannot go to work due to high blood pressure. Hello?? I have high blood and I'm working my ass off. He mentioned that he got high blood pressure from stress, poor diet of unhealthy food and lack of exercise. Yes, he is fat and I'm surprised he is fat, given the family's situation. Has he been eating the food supply of the whole family?? Anyway, he said he could easily earn $2000 a month as a restaurant manager but he chose not to, because "it would not be nice for me to take MC due to health."  The journalist asked him if he would consider exercising or changing his diet to be healthier so that he could go get a decent job. Answer from him was "No, to difficult, so many years already, very hard to change." The family of five survive on a meagre monthly income of $700 from the mother's pay. Sorry i shouldn't be judging...but what a shithead!

Another uncle..he has no money at all, not even money in his MRT card. And he can't get money from his children because they are also not doing well. So i conclude that if you have a chid and you fail to provide education and proper upbringing to the child, he/she will grow up and suffer one way or another. If you are poor, you can at least teach the child tenacity and determination, and filial piety.  So that no matter how hard life is, they will never abandon you the parents. And they will find a way to survive because they are tenacious. I cannot help but wonder what kind of a dad he had been when his kids were young. Why are his children treating him, their dad, so coldly.. what happened to filial piety?

By head start in life, i meant education. I truly believe that education breaks the cycle of poverty. It is a vicious cycle. Education trains the mind to think, and armed with a cert/diploma/degree/masters and whatever else there is, doors of opportunities are aplenty. Or at the very least, it helps one to make informed choices in life.

Life is a complicated journey full of choices and happenings. I should not make sweeping remarks. The above are just my personal opinions..raw and all.  Haven't really thought about these issues in depth..but i really cannot help being angry at stupidity and ignorance.

If I'm the social worker assigned to the fat man, i will be very firm and insistent that he change. Either he change and make life better for him and his family OR he just continue to rot HIMSELF.  I think I will just focus on helping the kids. I'm not sure if this is right though. But the equation seems to me like that. If he asked for social assistance and advice, he will get it and he should work harder to help others to help himself.  If he choose to complain about life being unfair day after day, he can go screw himself.

God, i'm not sure why did you ask me to take up this calling.. the social workers that i met during the convention were all gentle, soft spoken and i guess very, very patient. I can be bitchy at times..not forgetting to mention vindictive too..and I'm not exactly sure if i am patient enough not to flare up. Are You very sure You got the right person?

7 January, 2015 - Struggles

I have posted so many articles related to God..to remind myself that I need to walk closely with Him, in this relationship. This is not a religion but about having a relationship with God, our Father in heaven. I struggle striving to be a better person because i believe that we should all care about people around us, environment we live in and simply just because we care. And everyone deserves to lead a decent life on Earth. But I am far from being perfect. Like really far.

In a very commercialised first world society, everything is about me, myself and I and almost everyone is selfish and self-centered. Then the world would be a horrible place, and it sometimes is already a horrible place.

Do we do good because we want to feel good? Afraid of bad karma? Accumulating good karma? Trying to secure a place in heaven? Trying to be accepted by others? Are we all guilty of altruism? Are we all hypocrites?

I want a honest, genuine relationship with God. I want to obey because i am grateful for all that He has done for me, for my family. Yet, I am so disobedient at times. And i feel guilty for harbouring thoughts that God might just be an alien(s) from another planet whereby they are far more intelligent than human beings. But deep in my heart, i want God to be God, just like what I have been taught in school from young.

It is a constant struggle..by faith we believe what we cannot see. But science and logic got into the way. But I have made my choice..God

I am so sleepy and exhausted. Will ponder on altruism again..

Alice Cooper - The prodigal son

“The world doesn’t belong to us, it belongs to Satan,” said Alice Cooper. “We’re living with that. We’re bombarded with that every day.”

“[A]lmost everything I wrote was good and evil,” he said. “Don’t pick evil. Even when I wasn’t Christian, I was saying that. God and the Devil. Don’t pick the Devil. It’s a bad idea.”

Alice Cooper (born Vincent Damon Furnier) shot to mega-stardom in the 1970s and early 1980s with hits such as “I’m 18,” ‘Schools’ Out” and the 1973 album, Billion Dollar Babies. He also was notorious for his demonic makeup and costumes and macabre theatrics on stage, which included simulated suicide and the decapitation of baby-dolls, among other dark antics.

Alice Cooper was nominated for two Grammy Awards and he and his band were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2011. He has played roles in several movies, including Wayne’s World with Mike Myers and Dana Carvey and, perhaps most ironically given his shock-rock music career, Cooper is an avid and skilled golfer.

Cooper scored a two-over par 74 on The Champion Course in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., a world-class course; he played in the All Star Cup in Newport, South Wales; he has appeared in commercials for Callaway Golf equipment; and he is the author of Alice Cooper, Golf Monster.

In an interview posted on YouTube about his Christian roots, his Prodigal-son waywardness in the 1970s and early 1980s, and his reversion to Bible-based Christianity and his life today, Cooper explained that despite all the wealth and fame he attained early on, there was a huge emptiness in his life.

“I grew up in a Christian house,” said Cooper. “My dad was a pastor, he was an evangelist for 25 years, and I used to go up and do missionary work with him with the Apaches in Arizona. My grandfather was a pastor for 75 years. I grew up in a Christian home. And my wife’s father is a Baptist pastor. So, I was like, we were PK’s – preacher’s kids – so we married each other.”

“So I always refer to myself as the real Prodigal Son, because I went out and the Lord let me do everything,” said Cooper. “Maybe didn’t let me but allowed it, and then just started reeling me back in. You know, you’ve seen enough. Let’s bring you back to where you belong.”

“When you get out there and realize you’ve had every car, every house, and all that, you realize that that’s not the answer,” he said. “There’s a big nothing out there at the end of that. So, materialism doesn’t mean anything. A lot of people say that there’s a big God-sized hole in your heart. And when that’s filled, you’re really satisfied, and that’s where I am right now.”

Cooper then explained that his return to Christianity occurred when he tried and eventually quit drinking alcohol in the mid-1980s. (He also had a dangerous addiction to cocaine, which he discussed in the 2014 movie, Super Duper Alice Cooper.)

“I stopped drinking and I started going back to church,” he said. “I was throwing up blood every morning; I was really a bad alcoholic. I wasn’t a cruel or mean alcoholic but I was certainly self-destructive.”

He continued, “And when I stopped drinking, I started going back to church with my wife, and there was this pastor in Phoenix who was just Hell-fire. I mean, there were 6,000 people there and he was talking to me every Sunday. Of course, he wasn’t, but he was – just nailing me. Every weekend I’d get out exhausted. I’d come out of there and be, ‘I don’t want to go back.’ It was like torture and I always came back.”

“I finally realized, I had to go one side or the other,” said Cooper. “I had to make a decision for one side or the other, because I was so convicted. The Lord really convicted me, saying, look, it’s time to make a decision here. I said okay, and I joined a church called Camelback Bible over there, and that’s where I go now. It’s a really good teaching church, good strong Bible-teaching church.”

As for how his life has changed for the better, Cooper said, “Well, before you are always self—you’re always self-centered. Everything is for you. Your self is God. And we make lousy gods. Humans make lousy gods, I think. We need to let God be God and us be what we are. I think that’s what changes: the focus on who you’re serving. You’re not serving you. You’re serving Christ.”

“God’s chipping away at your life all the time to try to make you more like Him,” said Cooper. “That’s what a Christian is, a person that’s being molded and shaped all their life …. I think the Lord expects you to do your best in His name. I had to struggle a long time about rock and roll. I realized it’s not really the music. It’s what’s being said with the music. So I think you have to be careful of what you’re writing, what you’re representing.”

For those people who may have been big Alice Cooper fans back in 1970s and 1980s but who are still following the sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll lifestyle and not following Christ, Cooper said, “Well, they’re going to eventually know Christ, and I hope it’s not too late. If you’re at the wrong end at the wrong time, I think that’s going to be tragic.”

As for the temptations of this world, Cooper said, “Sure, what is the world made up of? It’s made up of that. The world doesn’t belong to us. It belongs to Satan. We’re living in that world. We’re bombarded with that every day.”

“So how do we react to that?” he said. “If you don’t have Christ in your life, then you’re a victim to it. So I think what we have to be very careful about is how we react to the world. If we have Christ in our life now, we have to react humbly. React in a teaching way and at the same time be humble about it.”

When it comes to politics, Cooper frequently says that he doesn’t like to get into the subject because it poisons rock music. In a 2010 interview with Rolling Stone, Cooper said he was “extremely non-political” and that he would “go out of my way to be non-political.”

He has also criticized other rock musicians for wearing their politics on their sleeves. During the 2004 presidential race, Cooper quietly supported George W. Bush but criticized Sheryl Crow, Dave Matthews, James Taylor, and Bruce Springsteen for enthusiastically and publicly backing Democrat John Kerry.

“To me, that's treason. I call it treason against rock-and-roll, because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics," Cooper told the Canadian Press.

"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are,” he said. “Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal."

Cooper continued, “Besides, when I read the list of people who are supporting Kerry, if I wasn't already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that's a good reason right there to vote for Bush."

In an interview with the evangelical Christian program The Harvest Show, Alice Cooper said that if there is Bible story that represents his life, it is Jonah and the whale. He also disclosed that despite the dark and demonic aspects of some of his early music, there were still Christian messages being conveyed about good vs. evil and that the songs did warn against Satan.

“[A] almost every thing I wrote was good and evil,” said Cooper during the interview. “Don’t pick evil. Even when I wasn’t Christian, I was saying that. God and the Devil. Don’t pick the Devil. It’s a bad idea. But all they saw was the image [of Alice Cooper].”

“And I gave Alice his perimeter, his areas where he wouldn’t go past,” said the musician, “and I still find songs from the first albums that totally all have Christian bywords going all the way through it. It comes out of you what’s in you. So songs like Second Coming, and that, were all warning about Satan.”

Cooper also said that if his life means anything remotely similar to what is told in the Bible, it is that “Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”

“I don’t believe this [notion] that it’s all parables and they mean just this – no,” Cooper said in reference to the Bible. “I say, if it says it, it meant it. People laugh at me and say you can’t really believe that. Look, if I can believe that God created the world and everything in it, why wouldn’t I believe a simple thing like that? That’s not a hard thing.”

“The very fact that He cared enough about me to save my life about 20 times, and help me survive a million different things, to put me where I am now, and the challenge I have now to be a Christian in the rock business,” said Cooper. “He kind of put me in the camp of the Philistines, which is okay.”

He continued, “What people don’t realize is that when you become a Christian it doesn’t make things easier, it makes them harder. It makes your life harder. It makes your soul at ease with God because you know where you are with Him. It doesn’t make your social life or your normal life in America any easier. In fact, it puts you under the microscope.”

“Sometimes I think that TV evangelism is one of Satan’s greatest weapons,” said Cooper. “They put these guys on a pedestal and all of a sudden they get caught with a prostitute, and every Christian I know then is under the gun. So you don’t think that’s kind of set up?”

“I’m telling you, the Devil is very smart,” said Cooper. “He’s not going to come out with the horns and the tail. He’s going to come in as the slickest car salesman you ever saw – and I’ve seen some pretty slick pastors on TV. Now that’s not to say they’re all like that. … But every time I hear something that goes a little left of center, I go, ‘What? What was that?’ You know, too much healing on TV, I don’t know about that. That’s showbiz I think.”

In mid-December 2014, Alice Cooper’s song “School’s Out” was inducted into the 2015 Grammy Hall of Fame, along with music from other artists such as Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, Otis Redding, Neil Young and Harry Belafonte.

3 Ways to Know If an "Open Door" is from God

Just because an opportunity presents itself, and it looks appealing, doesn't necessarily mean it is from God. And likewise, just because an open door looks a little uncertain, doesn't mean you shouldn't walk through it.

The key is knowing how to discern if an opportunity is really an open door from God. I don't want to miss those open doors because I was afraid to walk through them. But I also don't want to take every opportunity that comes along, assuming it is from God's hand and has his blessings attached.

In a recent conversation with a friend we talked about the faith and courage to walk through a door that God is holding open for us, even if we're not exactly sure of what's on the other side. But then the question came up: How can you tell if God is the one opening the door?

The Bible gives us some principles to help us discern if an "open door" or opportunity is really from God:

1. The Door that God Opens Will Never Contradict His Word

Many Christians see opportunities to make more money as an open door from God, even though the opportunity means a job that will keep them from regular fellowship or service in their church. However, God's Word tells us not to neglect meeting together for worship (Hebrews 10:25). Some women have told me that they believe God opened a door to a dating relationship for them, even though it meant being in a situation where they were "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever, which Scripture also warns against (2 Corinthians 6:14). God will not lead you toward an opportunity that contradicts what he clearly says in his Word. Nor will he open a door that would require personal compromise or disobedience in order for you to enter. As humans prone to sin, we have an excellent way of turning a clear mandate of God's completely around and justifying it by our circumstances, but that is not how God works. If there is a compromise in any way, or we have to bend Scripture to justify our "open door" then it is likely not a door that God is opening for us. I would call anything that contradicts his Word a temptation, rather than an open door from God. And God's Word clearly says that God does not tempt us (James 1:13-14).

2. The Door that God Opens Will be Accompanied by Confirmation

In Matthew 18:15-16, Jesus laid out instructions for confronting sin among believers saying "But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses'." I believe the same applies when it comes to God confirming something in his Word. He will often confirm or establish a matter by "two or three witnesses" whether they be verses from the Word of God, advice from a pastor or well-respected person who is grounded in Scripture, or a non-compromising circumstance that continues to present itself. Through prayer, discernment and seeking godly counsel, you should be able to tell if that "open door" and its confirmations are truly coming from God.

3. The Door God Opens Will Require You to Depend on Him

God is not going to give us something that will alienate us from him or make us believe we no longer need him. He is a God of relationship, and a God who insists upon being first in our lives (Matthew 6:33). Therefore, if you find yourself saying "I can't do this unless God goes before me," or "I can do this, but only with God's help and leading" I would say, in my personal experience, it's likely something God is calling you to do. Hebrews 11:6 says: "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for he who comes to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him." Many times an "open door" from God is one that allows our faith to be stretched and strengthened. That, after all, is God's objective for us: to grow in faith and Christ-likeness.

Take your opportunity or "open door" to God and ask for his confirmation - through his Word and godly counsel from others - and his peace in the decision, and you can have the assurance that you aren't just choosing a door at random, but you're carefully walking through the ones he wants you to enter.

Emile Durkheim On Religion

A religion is a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say, things set apart and forbidden--beliefs and practices which unite in one single community called a Church, all those who adhere to them".

"The believer who has communicated with his god is not merely a man who sees new truths of which the unbeliever is ignorant; he is a man who is stronger. He feels within him more force, wither to endure the trials of existence, or to conquer them".

"At the roots of all our judgments there are a certain number of essential ideas which dominate all our intellectual life; they are what the philosophers since Aristotle have called the categories of the understanding: ideas of time, space, class, numbers, cause, substance, personality, etc. They correspond to the most universal properties of things. They are like the solid frame which encloses all thought; . . .They are like the framework of intelligence. Now when primitive religious beliefs are systematically analyzed, the principal categories are naturally found. They are born in religion and of religion; they are a product of religious thought".

"Thus there is something eternal in religion which is destined to survive all the particular symbols in which religious thought has successively enveloped itself. There can be no society which does not feel the need of upholding and reaffirming at regular intervals the collective sentiments and the collective ideas which make its unity and its personality. Now this moral remaking cannot be achieved except by the means of reunions, assemblies, and meetings where the individuals, being closely united to one another, reaffirm in common their common sentiments; hence come ceremonies which do not differ from regular religious ceremonies, either in their object, the results which they produce, or the processes employed to attain these results. What essential difference is there between an assembly of Christians celebrating the principal dates in the life of Christ, or of Jews remembering the exodus from Egypt or the promulgation of the Decalogue, and a reunion of citizens commemorating the promulgation of a new moral or legal system or some great event in the national life?".

[Religion is] "an eminently collective thing".

"We must discover the rational substitutes for these religious notions that for a long time have served as the vehicle for the most essential moral ideas".

"Society is not at all the illogical or a-logical, inherent and fantastic being which has too often been considered. Quite on the contrary, the collective consciousness is the highest form of psychic life, since it is the consciousness of consciousness. Being placed outside of and above individual and local contingencies, it sees things only in their permanent and essential aspects, which it crystallizes into communicable ideas. At the same time that it sees from above, it sees farther; at every moment of time it embraces all known reality; that is why it alone can furnish the minds with the moulds which are applicable to the totality of things and which make it possible to think of them".

“The notion of the infinite, then, appears only at those times when moral discipline has lost its ascendancy over man’s will. It is the sign of attrition that emerges during periods when the moral system, prevailing for several centuries, is shaken, failing to respond to new conditions of human life, and without any new system yet contrived to replace that which has disappeared”.

“Whenever moral rules lack the necessary authority to exert, to a desirable degree, a regulatory influence on their behavior, we see society gripped by a dejection and pessimism reflected in the curve of suicides.

“The totality of moral regulations really forms about each person an imaginary wall, at the foot of which a multitude of human passions simply die without being able to go further. For the same reason—that they are contained—it becomes possible to satisfy them. But if at any point this barrier weakens, human forces—until now restrained—pour tumultuously through the open breach; once loosed, they find no limits where they can or must stop. Unfortunately, they can only devote themselves to the pursuit of an end that always eludes them”.

“During periods when society is disorganized and, as a result of its decadence has less power to exact the commitment of individual wills, and when, consequently, egoism has freer reign—these are calamitous times. The cult of the self and the notion of the infinite go together”.

“A group is not only a moral authority which dominates the life of its members; it is also a source of life sui generis. From it comes a warmth which animates its members, making them intensely human, destroying their egotisms".

“The old gods are growing old or are already dead, and others are not yet born”.

“Religion is in a word the system of symbols by means of which society becomes conscious of itself; it is the characteristic way of thinking of collective existence”.

“It is not possible for a social function to exist without moral discipline. Otherwise, nothing remains but individual appetites, and since they are by nature boundless and insatiable, if there is nothing to control them they will not be able to control themselves”.

“The unleashing of economic interests has been accompanied by a debasing of public morality. We find that the manufacturer is aware of no influence set above him to check his egoism. He is subject to no moral discipline.

The great things of the past which filled our fathers with enthusiasm do not excite the same ardor in us...In a word, the old gods are growing old or already dead, and others are not yet born...But this state of incertitude and confused agitation cannot last for ever. A day will come when our societies will know again those hours of creative effervescence, in the course of which new formulae are found which serve for a while as a guide to humanity; and when these hours shall have been passed through once, men will spontaneously feel the need of reliving them from time to time in thought, that is to say, of keeping alive their memory by means of celebrations which regularly reproduce their fruits. We have already seen how the French Revolution established a whole cycle of holidays to keep the principles with which it was inspired in a state of perpetual youth...There are no gospels which are immortal, but neither is there any reason for believing that humanity is incapable of inventing new ones. As to the question of what symbols this new faith will express itself with, whether they will resemble the past or not, and whether they will be more adequate for the reality which they seek to translate, that is something that surpasses the human faculty of foresight and which does not appertain to the principal question.

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I chanced upon this interesting article on religion by Durkheim...and it made me ponder on the complexity of the human brain.

6 January, 2015 - Assholes united

Today is the second day of work after the two weeks hiatus. And I am reminded that work indeed sucks. I don't know if things have changed or it is I who have changed. As i read my past blog entries,  and discovered that i no longer feel like i have the same energy to play ping pong ball (emails) or entertain unreasonable requests from colleagues, suppliers, customers etc In fact i seem to be looking at this company using a magnifier glass. One that magnifies all it's flaws and and the stark difference compared to when i first joined.

Yesterday, I learnt that i might need to work with Sarah again. Like in Pemco days. Except that this time, we both have changed and the relationship has also changed. God works in mysterious ways...perhaps she is my "last job" in this company. I have to work on introducing more of God to her and then perhaps God can move me to the next place to serve?

I go to work with anticipation everyday..hoping that i will get selected for the social worker scheme. At the same time, while i feel refreshed from the break from work, I have been encountering irritating people and assholes from Hong Kong to test my patience to the very limit. There are so many people (let's just call them assholes) in this company who came to work not expecting any problems to be thrown on their lap, who expects smooth day everyday and by having this expectation, inconvenience others greatly because they would be lazy and try to do the most minimum work that they can.

I think i have mental block in writing..

To end off, JFK came to pick me up from work and we had a nice dinner at The Loading Bay. It was a cosy place to be at and much as it was a shit day, I had a great evening :)

Yesterday, my menses also gorily arrived. No..i am not pregnant. Again. At least it's not another miscarriage this time.

To all the assholes out there, I hope that one day you will realised what an ass face you have, get paid for all the asshole-ness you have been in due, and get stuck with other assholes for the rest of your life.

P.S. Forgive me for i have no forgiving heart to the above said asses

2 January, 2015 - Paddington Bear

Today is the last weekday of of our little stay-home-vacation :) We had lunch at Great World city, watch the movie Paddington Bear and shop a little while. The pantone colour for 2015 is masala and i went to Sephora to pick up a lipstick in this shade. Couldn't find any..left the shop empty handed, might as well..save money :)

We drove to East Coast to watch the sea, and play some sand. Samuel was happily playing sand when he found a fifty cents coin! Lucky little boy. Earlier in Great World city, he had donated ten cents out of his pocket money to a charity box. He has been saving up to buy a toy by collecting ten cents from daddy everyday lol

After a tiring day, it was ice cream time!

When we got home, little Samuel wants to follow Keller and Kellie to Kallang Wave stadium to play with their scooter bikes. We have such fantastic neighbours :)

What a wonderful day it is to spend time with our family. It's a blessing just to be alive and and see God's creation everyday.

Thank God for this wonderful day, for family, for great neighbours and for keeping us safe.

Amen

1 January, 2015 - Happy New Year

Time
It's 2015, time did zoom past fast. I am turning 39 this August and soon I will be 40.  I wonder if i can still make it in time for a baby number 2. After baby Joshua and Matthew's brief stay on earth, I have serious doubts about being able to have another baby. We didn't plan on having any kids when we got married. Ironically, this is one big regret that I have now..not starting a family earlier. But then again, thank God for Samuel. He is indeed the biggest joy in our life.


Family
They are the most important people to me in life. To put it bluntly, without them, I am nothing. Family reminds me that I am not alone in this world. We have our disagreements and tiffs now and then but we will always be family. Always.

I want to say I really, really love you.  Jeffrey, Samuel, Pa, Mummy, Jervoise, Jervis, Marvin, Sharon, Jasmin, Benjamin, Dad, Mother...
Also my Aunties, Uncles, cousins..i do feel a tinge of regret for not hanging out enough with my cousins in their growing up years. But I am thankful that they so readily accept us back into their gatherings.

Family = love :)


Friends
I do not have many close friends. Not because I'm not sociable or unfriendly. On the contrary, I can be quite a "professional hala queen". There is an on-off button that I selectively press depending on my mood and instincts. But i choose to be cold so as not to make so many friends. Because friendships require time to maintain. I do not think I want to spend so much time with people who are merely "friends". I only keep friends who do not judge each other, who will be there when the going gets rough, who will be there and weep with you silently, who despite time apart, will always re-connect easily like distance never existed.  Thank you very much for being there for me. You know who you are.


Work
Been in this company for almost eight years. There were good times and bad times. This is the same company that I joined since I started this blog. I would be lying if I say I have no feelings towards this company.
Having said that, I have just sent in my application for a mid career change, to explore social services in Singapore. If my application is successful, I will be doing two years of study at SIM followed by another two years of bond to the employer who hired me.  If this is what God wants me to do, I pray that He will open doors. Sometimes I wonder why did God download this thought in my heart, why me? I am not sure if I have the criteria of a social worker in terms of personality. I'm not exactly even temper, I can be quite impatient, vindictive and the list goes on.  But God works in mysterious ways. This time, i took the leap of faith and submitted my application.

Also, there is the online business that I am struggling to make it work out. I would really like to see it kick off..any small start is a great beginning. I need to find like-minded people, to share this dream and make it work out..for a better life style and a challenge I set for myself.


Thank You God for everything.

Concurrently, we will also try for a baby. As JFK said ~ leave it to God.
Counting my blessings everyday :)