23 June, 2015 - Wayang ~ part two

At some point of life,  all of us would have acted in some circumstances or situations. We act as if we are the most generous, nonchalant person around and then when we see a sign that says "Free" we would be part of the queue to collect the freebies... because "we gian ben and kiasu and we scared we miss out."

Where i work, we need to act. Act busy, act important, act tough, act weak, act most piteous, act smart, act dumb etc etc Maybe because there are about 100 employees in this office and the hit rate of the above roles are higher. If it is a small company, there will just be the odd one or two weirdos. It is funny why people behave like that... when all we need to do is get the job done, get our pay at the end of the month and the company sales grow healthily. But, sometimes it is necessary to wayang a bit, 人在江湖，身不由己

Let's talk about the unfair treatment. Some people are either just born lucky with a pretty face/handsome face, find an "umbrella" as in a leaning mountain (literally translated from Mandarin), and the world is their oyster. I guess that's life, when you are in the right place, right time, right opportunity. Wham! Jackpot!

I've met my fair share of bad leaders. I've been told "hey, I'm sorry i can't promote you since you want to take all 4 months of your maternity leave". Ouch, and on the same note, informed me that i need to be prepared that this job won't be around after my maternity leave because the whole team is shifting to Penang. Did i mention she told me this when she herself just came back from her maternity leave and we had to cover her share of work while she is at home looking after baby. Not to mention i work at night on days that i took leave to accompany my dad for chemotheraphy. This was the same lady who told me i need to position myself to look very busy and make sure everyone sees it. See, i need to act. Act super duper busy and make sure there are audiences.

The next leader after is a nice guy who is so nice, he confuses me at times. Just like Liu Bei. You know Liu Bei is talking shit when he said his son does not deserves to be saved from the enemies by his general because it endangered the life of his precious general. Which parent would wish for the death of his/her own child?? So you know he talked shit. I know beneath that kind demeanour is a pretence to look safe and harmless and be liked by all so that he can get information and get by, i can't help thinking he is a nice guy..which he is. And the rest of the team adores him..but it's so hard to dislike him. I need to act like i don't know he is pretending.

Then there is the alcoholic leader. Who called me in the middle of the night to get the quotes out just because i was replying emails and he happened to receive it in his blackberry while he was half drunk picking up girls in Zouk! And who expects me to pay for his cab to customer's place. Duh! I need to act civil with him when sometimes i would like to smack his head.

Another one is the act amitabha-beware-of-karma type of shit leader. This is the political one..who wants to dictate who i can speak to or who i cannot speak to. And gives me dirty looks if i "betray" him for talking to his enemies. He imagined those enemies i think.. My anger for him has turned to pity because the way he carry himself is not exactly aligned with all the life quotes he posts on FB.

I wish i can be a house cat minus the guilt.

And today, it's day 2 that we need to act like we are so enthusiastic about having the 3 Presidents of this company. We clapped, stood by cubicles, smiled as wide as we can. This is really cheena bongster behaviour. I realised companies ran by the Taiwanese, the Chinese, the Hong Kongers are like that.  Rubes said Agilent didn't have to do this when they had presidents visiting. It's call coffee talk and staff are ENCOUARAGED to join.  But we..we do it big. We renovate part of the office, repainted some of the walls blue, hide all food from our tables and the guys had to wear blazers in this sweltering heat, and the central air-con in our office is not fantastically cold. And we have scripted questions to be asked during Q&A. And we have the lion dance. The last time i felt like i worked in a KTV sort of company was when i was asked to entertain an old Taiwanese man in F/R. I refused and the rest was history.

I am not gripping but I'm sharing my amusement :) I work in an interesting place, a robust environment. Where angels lurk in corners and makes my day brighter and happier while I'm at work.  Now and then i get to watch some scenes and be amused.

I felt drained, because i couldn't deal with so much pretence in 2 days..and the price increase..shit thing, i have a phobia because this price increase has made me lost a lot the last 2 times.. but i read some articles about Mr Lee Kuan Yew and felt very inspired and stronger. Exercises help too.

And Rubes's car had to be towed away on Mon at my mum's place. I enjoyed talking to the tow truck uncle. He told me how the whole thing works, including the mechanism of the tow truck. It made me feel sort of happy hahaha Sorry Rubes, that your white knight has to be towed away and i gained a lesson on how to tow cars hahaha

11 June, 2015 - The 40 year old virgin

There is this woman in my office, who is 40 this year, i think this month to be exact. And i'm quite sure she is a virgin. We were those hi, bye, smile smile, how's the weather type of colleagues. And out of the blue, one day, she seemed to morph into a different person and started to give me those quick smile like those "i-see-a-face-i-force-a-smile" type of smile. After a few attempts of smiling sincerely back and getting snubbed, screw it. I ignore her whenever i see her. Let's call her GAP.

And this guy, ACSian let slipped today that she pretty much dislike most women in the office. People like her makes the air stale in the office. I think she dislike me and xiao mei because we made LK a prettier lady. She has this on going feud with LK. This is so childish. It is two different matters altogether. I'm beginning to think women who worked in Achieva for too long are all weirdos.

Anyway, i have this thought today. If a woman turns 40 and is still a virgin, and still harbour hopes of getting attached unsuccessfully, she will probably become a bitter woman. Even pandas who do not procreate easily as other animals, would have had sex at some point of their panda lives. 

GAP probably does not realised she has issues, on the contrary, she probably thinks she is far superior and prettier then us mere mortals. She is not ugly but she is weird. I think that's probably why she is not attached. I feel like telling her "if you want a boyfriend, upgrade to a nicer character. Or at least not be such a cheena bongster AUNTIE. I was mad at her, now I'm curious.

So which brings me back to...are single, virgin women all weirdos? It's a vicious cycle, wanting to get a man but behaving in all possible ways that turn men off. Then turning weird because no love, no sex and no companion.

But if GAP has got the right mindset, she would probably have been a happier woman, attracting the right attention and gaining friends. And most of all, not feel lonely even if she is single.

GAP, i hope you find a guy who completes you and you turn normal. 

9 June, 2015 - Curiousity will kill the housecat

“People come, people go – they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.”

I thought about the people who came into my life at some point of time and then poof, disappeared without a trace. People like Baoyu and Anna, who were the "bad ones" who taught me lessons. And there are people who walked in and connected because we were at the right time at the right place. And we drifted apart..just because. People like Lynn, Jeremy, Han, Steven..just to name a few. These people didn't disappear, we are just at different stage of our lives. 

Baoyu and Anna have a few things in common and the list seems to go on.

- Low self esteem

- both teaches kids (Baoyu was a tutor while Anna is a teacher)

- good in Mandarin

- ashamed of their own family

- prone to jealousy

- hen pecked their men - control purse strings tightly

- surname Lin

- Hokkien

- self centred

- married men with birthdays in October!! Lovey dovey Libra

It's disgusting how i missed these points when i made friends with Anna. I spent time and effort being there for them at their lowest, I'm not expecting anything in return honestly. But what i got was a stab at the back and sudden disappearance. I think that's rude and i would be lying to say I'm not curious about the reason for the behaviour of both women. And how unfortunate that i have to meet this type of character twice..darn. I think i hated Baoyu because that friendship lasted more than 10 years. Thank God that the friendship with Anna lasted from her divorce til she got a new man. Now, there is no more hatred but really just curiosity. But between having them back in my life or staying curious forever, i choose the latter :)

But for every terrible people i met, there seem to be more angels around. Past and present angels..will always be angels.

One thing remains unchanged. My intense dislike for hypocrites and selfishness. Over the years and with age, i have developed a refined detector to pick up these 2 undesirable traits in people. I really do not have the patience or time to put up with fake-ness in any relationship. I would be 40 next year, and if i live to 80, that would mean I've half a lifetime left. If i don't live to 80, it means i have less than half my lifetime left. I really can't imagine living up to my 90s..so. Life is too precious to hang around people who gives us crap. 

Family is all that matters at the end of the day :) They are the characters in a book that will always be there, even when they are gone, the memories will always be important and filled with love. 

Oh I'm so sleepy..goodnite til i pen my thoughts again