Sunday, September 30, 2007

30 September, 2007 - OCT/NOV/DEC

It's the last day of September already...time passes...October, November and December are my favourite months. Been 6 months since i joined this company...wah pretty long ago liao...

The whole house is in a mess...we have to pack all our stuff and "dump" them into our rooms cos HDB will send their guys down to hack our floor tiles this week. XIANZ! But the consolation is i can shift back to Bedok :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

25 September, 2007 - Happy Mid Autumn day

I AM sick shucks! Had flu on Saturday and i thought it would go away by Monday cos i was popping flu panadol but alas NO, it developed into a sore throat! Too much phlegm hmmm Been coughing almost the whole day and i am really feeling under the weather...i need a fair dosage of vitamins C :)

Hey bak bak sistas, i really miss both of you! When the reno is done, i am going to have both of you come my place and chill. Best of all, when my parents' new place is up and ready, i want to sit by the pool with the both of you keke it's a little pool with beach chairs by the side and a mini jaccuzi. We can work out at the gym, swim and then relax by the pool. My mum says welcome wor keke she wana see Zhenyu, our darling godson kekeke (yan, i think she finds it hard to believe you are a mummy now hahaha, and bugging me on when-u-noe-wat hmmm, cos u din act like you were preggars on my big day :) doing the jie mei sabo thingy...thank you very very much for being the "da jie" on that day heehee)

LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR THEME OUTING :) really..cannot imagine what would life be without the both of you. Thank you both for always being there when life is tough, and the 3 of us can really balance each other. Wah, on this mid autumn day, i am thinking so much about the both of you...so much so that i wish we are sitting by the usual playground chomping on mooncakes and drinking tea.

Went to granny's place for dinner after work today, big family gathering for mooncakes heehee happy day. Life is that good when you have your famiy around you ;) Been such a long time since i had granny's soup. Typical in a Cantonese dinner...no need to eat rice but must drink soup ah hahaha

God bless my family and my sistas :)

Monday, September 24, 2007

23 September, 2007 - Raffles the Plaza mooncakes :)

Went to our company's bowling session on Friday. Sean and me took Jin How's car there..Sean was taking part in the competition with Edwin, Rick and Jasmin so Jin How was driving fast hmmm went Escalibur with Sean, Edwin and Alex after bowling for drinks and watch some collector's item mtv. Never knew Bon Jon Jovi looked that bad with tacky tight jeans when he was young. Alex said i was not like the typical Singapore girl, with the "sei", attitide and whatever..he said i was cool just being myself...such a nice compliment keke maybe that's why i have always found it easier to hang around the guys than the gals. Not that i don't like gal pals, just that i do not like to hang around petty, guniang type of gals...cos i am pretty frank and tomboyish (i look feminine tho keke :) Then supper at Newton Circus with Sean and Edwin..,by the time i got home, it was almost 2am+ and i was freaking tired. But we had a good chat and i got to know both of them better and i am a happy gal.

This weekend, i am thinking of what defines a good Christian. If being obedient is so essential, then i am not a good one. But i feel in my own personal opinion that no matter what happens, my love for Him will not falter. And if i have to live my life somewhat like that of a nun..or close to like a nun, then i think no sooner will i start to do it my way. Yan, you are right, drinking or clubbing do not make me any less a bad Christian. Maybe i should attend bible studies in a bible college instead of from a church...so that it is very neutral and i can learn and understand the bible in a factual way and understand Christianity history in a logical way...like what Edwin said...Somehow i am beginning to feel that he is right, when pastors from different churches refer to verses in the bible, it is interpreted as whatever they are feeling..so it is considered the human way of interpretation...meaning emotions. I will need to get this straighten out.

I made dar drive me all the way to Raffles hotel to get the champagne truffle mooncakes but it was OUT OF STOCK!!! Damn! Should have gotten a few boxes when they came to my office to promote the mooncakes 2 weeks ago...had to setle for chocolate truffles from Raffles the Plaza instead...heng it taste good..though me and Jervis would have still prefer the ones from Raffles hotel arrghhh "no fish prawn also can" desparado...my favourite mooncakes are still the baked kaya ones from Bengawan Solo keke gonna get myself a box tomorrow and delight myself in some calories induced sweet happiness.

Monday, September 17, 2007

17 September, 2007 - Finally...on board

Edwin is finally on board today...here is a confident, smart, sensitive, analytical and abit of an egoistical man. But then again, there is a thin line between being confident and arrogant, he is confident...thanks to that sensitive side. Very typical Taurean traits indeed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence:-
belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance

失去信心,是不是也代表矢去一切?矢去了人生目标。。。矢去生命的平衡。。。最终矢去自己。。。

We need to set priorities in life in order to define ourself. Know what you want in life and go for it single mindedly. Why, then, do some people lose confidence in themselves? Why will anyone lose faith in oneself? Please don't let others bring you down...please believe in yourself...please understand that sometimes the fault does not always lie with you. Live for yourself.

有时候,到了尽头,就该放手。。。勉强不会辛副快乐。。。不要矢去信心,更加不要矢去自我

Do you get it? i hope you are reading this...

16 September, 2007 - Community Works & Mental struggle

Went to Trinity today...actually went alone..to check out the church. When the pastor asked first timers to stand up, i did just that and received many "hi, hello and welcome". Today's topic is on care, connect and community work. Social services have always been closest to my heart..especially child prostitution, which is why going to Combodia is an unfulfilled dream. And this church actively participates in voluntary work both locally and mission trips. So...good for me lo, i signed up liao and they will be calling me up to do a personality/character and watever screening test.

I supposed i will sign up for bibles classes to prepare for baptism as well..my passion is here now :) but then again, Yan, you are rite...if i have to stash away having fun..like cannot do this, cannot do that...then it would be rather meaningless for me...cos the more i try to curb, the urge comes back stronger then ever. Maybe for now, i will take it slow...i need time to be obedient...and curb the "wildchild" in me...

Honestly speaking, i feel that clubbings, piercings and tattoos does not make me love God any less. As long as my conscience is clear and i set my priorities right...like if it's time to go for service, i will. So..please do not stereotype Christians as "must do this, must do that, should do this, should do that"...i really cannot comprehend this logic. I am struggling with this conflict in concept and i must say i am not convinced...yet. Because to me, what matters is God knows i really do love Him and why should i care how others judge me. Seems like this is wrong cos "you should love Him in God's way, not your way". Heck man, this is the headache bit...i am really just not so...homely goody goody two shoes kind of gal.

Benjamin's first year birthday today :) Just look at him, such an angel keke






Here is the post dinner table in Geylang...eaten by all 6 of us..my beloved family :)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

14 September, 2007 - Gals Nite Out YAY YAY

Feeling happy today cos' will be meeting my beloved bak bak sistas :)) Had dinner at Tapas in Clark Quay..a Spanish restaurant that serves really nice mushrooms and Spanish "Claypot rice" haha

The object of desire YUMMY


Bak Bak Sista on a gals' nite out finally yippee yay


Rubs n Maine


Yan n Maine


After a hearty dinner, we headed off to Crazy Elephant for drinks and more chilling....sigh..this is life...been so long since the three of us went out like that and have heart to heart talk and girls talk :) hey gals, i really miss our "hanging" out times like that. And am so looking forward to our "Sex and the City" theme night out heehee i gotta go get my Samantha hot wear ya wooohooo don't i just love the both of you! What will i do without sistas like both of you hmmm cannot imagine haha

Life is beautiful when we live it simply and be contented about what we have and be a blessing to others...cheerios


PS...struggling on whether if i should get my ear pierced again...or a little tattoo on my ankle arrrggghhh

Thursday, September 13, 2007

13 September, 2007 - Pressured but not crushed

I was kinda pissed today..cos there was a file that has been created after a big hassle and today, i received an email that the file has to be changed. F**k lo, what can i say! Such an absolute waste of time...but when my rational left brain kicked in, i accept that this is just so very unfortunate..so i will have to re-do the whole damn thing. This is not the first time such things happened with this super duper big supplier and i am getting pretty sick and tired of all these cos i am wasting my time, being unproductive, getting stressed all for nothing. Really can't wait for Edwin to come soon and set things right. Enough of sussing him..i think he is someone who is firm and not afraid to speak his mind..GREAT, i need someone like that to send powerful emails out...i think behind that tough demeanor is a sensitive,observant and gentle soul. Thank God for such a guy haha Edwin impressed me today when he said something about "it's not so much about religion but your relationship with God" and even more so impressed when he gave a background about the Jews and Muslims. Can have intelligent conversation with him i guess..this inspired me to get serious and get into bible classes asap.

Anyway, this evening, Daryl said i am my worst enemy...i am too hard and critical of myself...so i push myself hard. Funny thing is, i am not an ambitious or competitive type of gal...pushing myself is a personal satisfaction...cos i want to meet my own standards = stress = headache/backache...this is bad? I need a pint of jolly good'o beer :) Thank God for sending such an angel keke thank you Daryl

Another chapter that i read tonite...

Happiness is learning how to deal with the inevitable disappointments of life. When we are troubled, God stands ready and willing to protect us. Our responsibility, of course, is to ask Him for protection. When we call upon Him in heartfelt prayer, He will answer - in His own time and in accordance with His own perfect plan.

Life is often challenging, but we must not be afraid. God loves us, and He will protect us. In times of hardship, He will comfort us;in times of sorrow, He will dry our tears. When we are troubled or weak or sorrowful, God is always with us. We must build our lives on the rock that cannot be shaken: we must trust in God. And then, we must get on with the hard work of tackling our problems...because if we don't, who will? Or should?

Recently I've been learning that life comes down to this: God is in everything. Regardless of what difficulties i am experiencing at the moment, or what things aren't as i would like them to be, i look at the circumstances and say, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me?"

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in the moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Focus on your work, not your worries: Worry is never a valid substitute for work. So get out there, do your best, and leave the rest up to God

Today, He makes my day brighter and proved to me that His plans for me are good and in accordance to His big plans :)) i keep reciting the above sentence in my head the whole day today...somehow, the phone calls are less and the emails are not free flow today heh heh THANK YOU FATHER for all that You have done

12 September, 2007 - He spoke to me :)

I am really stressed and kinda moody..cos i see unfinished work and the OCD nature in me felt sick and tired. So bad that i lost my appetite for dinner...

As i sat on my bed and stare into space, sulk and start thinking about what i should complete first tomorrow, i saw a book "Happiness is..." and read the following stuff below.

Happiness is learning to worry less and trust God more.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you." 1 Peter 5:6

Focus on your work, not your worries: Worry is never a valid substitute for work. So get out there, do your best, and leave the rest up to God

Amen.

I am finally getting to be sensitive enough to listen to His words. Suddenly i feel happy again :) tomorrow, i shall continue to give my best shot and do every outstanding things as fast as possible...and leave the rest to Him.

Just hope and pray that my emotions will not get the better of me tomorrow and i start sulking again...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

11 September, 2007 - Miss SPG lurvesssss English

My backache is acting up again..wah last week was tightness in the chest..so bad that i could not breathe properly..then followed by headache and then felt like vomiting...symtoms of stress for me...working late is starting to take it's toil on me ah??

Had dinner dinner with Sarah after work this evening :) she is really like a child, can't tell her age and that she is a mother of 2 pretty gals keke meet up with Jeff Toh and gang after dinner :))

English...i realised that for every new acquaintances that i meet, if i can share private jokes in English, it's almost like auto, we click :) Edwin and Alex both speak to me in English only and i think i can gel well with them. Edwin is the typical ang mo pah...who thinks anything China is LC hahaha like how i coined the term cheena pok :p so very bad of me. I am SPG??? I like to be able to converse effectively in English and Mandarin switching effortlessly between the 2 languages hmmm but most times, i express myself better in English...but i hate slangs..especially those fake American accents believed to have been acquired after living a few years abroad..total bullshit i guess...or people trying to slang it like ang moh, Singlish sounds better. Then again, i cannot tahan Jervis's insistence on using proper English, meaning grammatically correct and no short forms,in all mobile text messages haiz that's just so anal retentive of him.

Like he got irritated and all uptight when i text the below:-

Me and my short forms: "Hey didi, i will b late. can u go up 1st? c u in 5"
Jervis's anal retentive reply: "It's alright then, i will go up to the book store myself. Call me when you are here"
Jervoise's even shorter text: "Sis, me wun b gg 2 ur plce. Hv to fetch mum aft work, eatg wif her."

Now i am very careful when i have to text Jervis...i make sure i spell out everything in full and in proper English that he will not disapprove of sigh...

Today as i was typing away...i really missed dancing on the dance floor with the loud music blaring in the background...i miss Zouk!!!!!!! Comtemplating forcing hubby to drive up to KL to check out the Zouk there...just to make sure i am not missing out on anything cool and happening. Most of all to EAT hahaha ;) I guess i had enough invasion of babies for the time being...while i can now feel my clock, i am still resistant to the idea. I can see kids EVERYWHERE!! In the magazines, malls, food courts, church etc..kinda freaking me out now. Is this the sign that i should get one now? Guess my maternal instincts are just never that strong...or is it just fear...

Chilling out...Alicia is jio-ing..so i shall do just that...haven't seen her for awhile now..and it's time to catch up.

I must be feeling damn stressed...cos i feel i am sprouting nonsense now..

Help, God

Monday, September 10, 2007

10 September, 2007 - Faith Inducing Incident

Drove to church for the first time yesterday...and got lost :( supposed to exit PIE but exited Simei/Tampines instead... Pray hard that i would get there on time cos i was supposed to be meeting Mark at 8.45. Anyway this is going to sound a little clich'e to a cynic's ears but somehow, He see brought me out of the "mess" hahaha i am a total road idiot so it's amazing how i got there by looking at the signs and listening to the small voice in my head :) and got there right on time, yup, even with the time taken to park..i am absolutely lousy with parking haiz

I have mixed feelings this Sunday..cos i am actually going to bade my church friends bye..am going to another church for more spiritual growth...to gain more bible knowledge and to start spreading His goodness and words...and possibly mission works.

I am really grateful to Him for all that He has done in my life :) Everytime i compare my life in this workplace to all the others before, i feel so blessed. Daryl still calls now and then to encourage me, Sarah is always a listening ear, Edwin is also such a sweetie to message me not to stay late keke I know all these would not have happpened without my Father watching over me. I am really thankful and appreciative of all the people i met...even my suppliers are nice people. Amen

Only things are my temper and emotions. I can be too emotional for my own good...and i am only human, so i have to learn curb my temper. To a dearest sista..Christians are also humans with failings..we are not perfect..i chose to steer clear of church activities many years ago cos i saw the unnerving acts of mortal ways. And i thought to myself "you call yourself a Christian and yet you are doing this." I thought it was just way to much hypocrisy for me to stomach and i said bye and welcomed Buddhism, temple, trance praying and seeking divination. Buddhism is also pure in its teachings...that's where my grey areas come in. If a religion teaches one to be good, it is acceptable but "idolotary" is not allowed. In fact i am trying to get a copy of the Koran. Anyway, my point is, there are always black sheeps in everything. I was a blind follower of Christ til recently when He has touched my life and let me felt peace...something that has been lacking in my life for a long while. Friends sometimes disappoint us, people fail us, family sometimes hurt us but God never forsake us.

Matthew 6:33-34
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Errr for some strange reason, i miss dancing sigh...not the drinks tho...maybe i should jio some gal pals and hit Zouk for old times sake keke i know who i should call :)) do some calories burning stunts on the dance floor or up on the stage heehee cannot lose my fun loving self even though i am trying to be pious..

Hey spiritual mentor, dancing with gal pals and never get drunk is ok right? keke

Faith faith faith faith faith :) beliving in Him is the best thing that has ever happened to housecat :)

Thursday, September 6, 2007

5 September, 2007 - Sony Ericsson W580i

Work late today again..like what's new..at this rate, i am not having a life man hmmmph hubby picked me, have dinner at Ang Mo Kio, visited Marvin's place, mother's place and SURPRISE!!! I was presented with W580i yay yay yay wah i was damn thrilled, elated, happy..you name it. Anyway i was supposed to get it on Thursday and i have been thinking about it for so long and now it's right in my hands heehee my belated birthday present from hubby :)))

Finally a new phone :) Not a phone fanatic, dislike changing phones but after almost 3 years of using Nokia 7610, i guess it's time for a new phone :) have been bio-ing Nokia N95 for awhile til i read about all the negative reviews and i think it's really not worth it to pay such a hefty sum of money for a problematic phone hmmm

Saw it for the first time at the Sony flagshop and fall in love with it. Stylish grey, sleek and oh so coooool. Now i am the cool owner of a cool phone, thank you Father for letting me discover this phone rather than thinking about Nokia N95.

While hubby is busy trying to figure out how to transfer my contacts from Nokia to Sony Ericcson, i am sitting here blogging away my happiness heehee i can't help much since he is the IT smart alec while i am the errr IT idiot :p

I am one HAPPY busy cat today *meowz*

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Maine's random thoughts

Somehow i feel that the more i surrender my life to Him, the more i feel life is beautiful. Everything is going well and i am happy though stressed. He seems to be molding my life and me..obedience...this seems to be the main thing i need to learn for now. Emptiness no longer invades my heart even when i feel lost. And i even know how come i feel lost now...cos' my bible knowledge is weak and i need to define myself based on the words of God. Such great contrast to just not so long ago...when i had often felt lost but have no idea why...and then i started to feel frustrated and it's a vicious cycle.

Somehow there is peace :)

Serve serve serve and i wonder what's my gifting

4 September 2007 - Elijah - Winning When The Whole World is Falling Apart

It's only Tuesday and i am starting to feel stressed already..so many issues this week and i feel kinda overwhelmed by all the emails. I stayed in the office to clear my work and left only at 10pm...to think i skipped lunch today just to clear emails and yet i still cannot finish work earlier. But i really thank Him for giving me strength and courage to plough on. I prayed for mental strength to be able to work smartly and He answered my prayer :) cos though i had to stay late to clear my work, at least by the time i left, it's more or less under control keke

I was late for church on Sunday and had to sit outside for the service. Good cos' somehow, i was more attentive. Topic today is "Winning When The Whole World is Falling Apart". Elijah suffered from emotional burnout..something that all humans do.

1) Release your burden
God can carry them better than you

2) Re-tune to God's voice
God is speaking to you

3) Return to God's calling
God wants to give you a new beginning

4 channels in our life:-
1) Devil's voice
2) Other people's voice
3) My own voice
4) God's voice

How to tune to God's words:-
1) Availability
2) Obedience (something i find so difficult..i am guai lan...)
3) Everytime God has words for you, submit it to your leaders or spiritual parents for advise (i need to fine tune my hearing!!!)
4) Be careful about the company/people i gather around with (yes f**k insecure women for eg hahaha)

Had beer with Daryl at Brewerks last night, and made some confessions..and saying them made me feel free...releasing my burden...free from bondages and healing is done. I am really trying to be as obedient as possible and forget about the "I", the nominative singular pronoun, used by a speaker in referring to himself or herself. It's all about Him now...how can it slip my mind at times???

Anyway, i have to thank Him for allowing me to be myself without being judgmental and so forgiving and accepting of all the flaws i have.

Jeremiah 32:27
"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" (i cannot help smiling when i read this verse heehee)

Daryl said to pray for directions and career. Can even give Him a list of where i want the job to be at, how much i want my pay to be bla bla bla. If He thinks it's time, He will open doors *wondering*

I think i know which church i should attend now. Need a cell group and bible lessons.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

1 September, 2007 - Vivian & Duncan

Had BBQ at Andrew Hallsworth's place last night. Combined efforts of the Marketing and Sales team. Great team bonding time. Sarah brought her 2 daughters there..so cute..tick-tock, tick-tock..is my biological clock ticking away hmmm if so how come i don't feel ready at all...but at least it's ticking abit now

Edwin was such a sweetie, he bbq-ed marshmallow for me cos' i burnt mine til it melted into the pit..and it was the best marshmallow, soft inside n errrmm...in short fantastic feeling. Then he bbq-ed hotdogs for me as well, my favourite food :) building relationship? hmmm but i guess i kinda like him, he is also a nice guy, just cynical. Great time chatting with him and Alex over Heineken.

Went to Shawn and Pinky's place after bbq..saw their son for the first time and gosh, he sure is a plump baby boy keke Vivian is here this weekend :))

Supposed to wake up early today to go to the tailor to alter my skirts and pants but haiz...overslept as usual lo (really wonder how come i always cannot wake up...) hang around Orchard with Haibiao, Duncan and Vivien. Had dinner at Ding Tai Fung and YES ate my favourite 小笼包..take a small bite on the skin, drink the soup and chew the whole piece yummy. Wah i ate at Ding Tai Fung for the third time this week...getting addicted to the 小笼包 liao

Vivian and Duncan are getting on fine and i think they will are a great couple. Love is as such...sweet and bitter, space and longing...and the list goes on

Life is beautiful and thank God for everything :)

PS.
Hey Rubs, the Lipscription from Benefit is really damn good! My lips is so smooth and so damn kissable too i think keke anyway lipstick glides on them now :)) Maybe we should go check out the face scrub heehee
But can't say the same for the face balm thingy that promises FLAWLESS skin lo..i still need blotters..women...suckers for such marketing gimmicks. Oh and the cheeks tint, can't seem to get them right...doesn't look balanced on my face lei