Words Women Use

1)Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. "Five Minutes" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine" (refer back to #1 for the meaning of "Fine".)

4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about "Nothing". (refer back to #3 for the meaning of "Nothing".)

6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8) If you say so: Men, take note: this is a trick. This is THE statement that means the opposite of what it says. When a woman says,"If you so," she actually means,"you're and idiot; I can't believe I ever married you, and you better realise how lucky you are every day of your miserable life." She will then issue forth a loud sigh (see# 5), and assign you a task worthy of your limited intelligence (although you will NOT be given the "five minutes" as discussed in # 2).

9) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

10) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response to be "nothing" (refer back to #3 for the meaning of "Nothing").