4 May 2015 - Wondering about all the "what ifs"

I caught some re-runs of Sex and the city on TV last night and i missed my bak bak sisters. Yes, sisters, i do miss you gals.  I miss our conversations about life in general, about fashion, our men, family, work, colleagues and friends, without being judged. Sometimes, i do feel i fared the worst among the three of us. I didn't study hard enough to get into a University. And I didn't have the tenacity nor foresight to enrol myself in school to get that elusive degree when i just started work. I just worked and worked and worked, thinking earning money with this diploma of mine to pay for that HDB flat, have a wedding and settle down was the one singular way to live my life. Occasionally i wonder what would have been, if i hadn't settle down so early, travel more to see the world. But it isn't practical to think about "what Ifs" now. We can only look forward and reminisce about the past.

A typical way in Singapore would be to get a cert, get a job, work nine to five, five days a week, pay bills, spend weekends at our parents place, catch up with relatives during Chinese New Year, blah blah blah  Maybe it is like that everywhere else in all the first world countries. People forgot to live, forgot to treasure just the basics in life, forgot to be contented.

I AM VERY MUCH AWARE I AM A BLESSED WOMAN. WITH A WONDERFUL HUSBAND, A HEALTHY AND HAPPY SON, A CLOSE KNITTED FAMILY, A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, AND THE ABILITY TO MAKE CHOICES.

But the more i wonder, the more restless my thoughts are. So...end of wondering.

On my way to work this morning, i saw a mother seated at the park with a pre-schooling child standing in front of her. The mother was fidgeting with her phone while the child was playing by himself. I like the scene. Morning, mother and child. It would be perfect minus the phone. I wonder what were they doing in the park. Were they waiting for the daddy? Are they enjoying the time spent together before going to school and work? Were they Singaporeans? I am very kaypoh.

Usually in the daytime, i have a hundred and one things that i want to document into this journal blog of mine.  But by the time i get home and switch on my laptop, i get a mental block. Dang it.