Don't know what made me call up the community service from church and ask them about the missing email from them. Supposed to go for the personality screening this Saturday but til now, i hadn't receive any details...and found out that the date has been changed. As if it's not bad enuff, my particulars were lost! "How come like that??" was what i wanted to say over the phone...anyway, now i am safely in the volunteer list again and i made sure he repeated my number and email before i hang up.
Had lunch at Jump Start alone today, need to read the bible and find some answers and also needed a little get-away-from-it-all cos' feeling sulky about my voice..just don't feel like being part of the crowd making small talks. I enjoyed my solitary lunch retreat having sandwich, salad and tea. The perfect make-do side-walk cafe around this area...the salad sucks though. Pray, read and write.
The sign that i should do volunteer work?? ^_^
Job 29: 12-16
"Because i rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteuosnes as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."
I hope it will be a stint in Cambodia one day...when i am spiritually ready...to fight against child prostitition. F**k that trade! Daryl, i know i am not ready, i will drop my plans for this December.
Went to the wake of Nat Chaeng's mum this evening. The pastor said something that made my heart stir...
No one is perfect, if people has to be perfect in order to go to heaven, then probably both you and I can't go. So God has 2 plans for entry to heaven.
Plan A: Be a perfect person, live the prefect life, do the perfect things. (But can you and I do this? NO) SO GOD HAS PLAN B :)
Plan B: Believe in Him, for I am the truth, I am the way... etc (i cannot remind the verse :l )
Do not let fear trapped you, bring everything to the Lord. (This is really an important sentence today for i have fear in my heart this morning...fear of communicating honestly about my thoughts with someone close...)
Some messages that i want to remember:-
lim says:
life is more than our situation...we always focus on our situation and restrict ourselves...
lim says:
when your mindset is transform little by little...few YEARS LATER..U WILL ABLE TO SEE GREAT DIFFERENT
Idiosyncratic Maine says:
i just hope to be able to do volunteering work soon
lim says:
ANYWAY JUST STAY FOCUS AND THAT IS YOUR MAIN JOB...DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH ON OTHERS AS GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT
lim says:
focus on God...doing is later..focus on God ...focus on God....this is all.
lim says:
make sure u do it
I also have to pray for my PM for his business to grow, less issues, less stress, more free time and more regional exposure for himself..so pray and pray and pray ya. Good relationship with Him but i still want to club sometimes *hohoho dun puke blood
Life is as such...we tend to take lot of things for granted. We only choose to see what we lack and who we are not...i am guilty of that when i am being agitated, emotional and not logical. So i have to make sure my logical side stays with me often heh heh once i get emotional, i get crappy and i think rubbish and act on impulse...then i need someone to keep me grounded and talk sense into me again...perhaps i need to learn not to show my emotions on my face..hide my sad, angry, upset, bothered or fed up expressions. So people can't tell hahahahaha so hard
For now, life is beautiful and i am a very blessed gal and i love my family and friends.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
14 October, 2007 - :( Last day in Bedok .......web of deception
End of my stay in Bedok, had to lug all my stuff back home and now the whole house is in one big mess. Everything feels so clustered, so much so that i feel like running away...i wish i can continue to stay in Bedok for another week...life was so happy. I like walking to 7-11 with Jervis to get tidbits and biscuits. (can't drive cos' Jervis insists on doing our part on global awareness in saving the earth) Chatting with Jervis about his career as a lawyer in about 2 to 3 years time and about life in general over waffles and french songs. Well, back to reality now, will have to spend a weekend packing the whole house and setting it straight again. Happiness always seem so shortlived...
Woke up at 10am this morning...Jfk dropped mum off at her church and we had breakfast at Macdonald in Bedok. Been a long time since i managed to wake up and have breakfast at Macdonald haha anyway i was not late for church today :) bless him
Pastor talked about deception today.
Deception: to cause one to believe what is false
: to lead in error
: to be mislead by a false appearance or statement
Thought: argument/reasoning
: stronghold of deception (web of deception)
How is deception manifested?
1) By sowing corrupted thoughts/doubtful thoughts
2) By sowing thoughts of discord
3) By thinking we are Masters of our own world
4) By erroneous judgement/appearance
Example, you woke up one morning, look into the mirror and think to yourself,"I am ugly." (A thought is planted into your head leading you into deception that you are ugly) So, you start to dress shabbily, not take care of yourself and soon, you will indeed be unsightly.
bad thought -> deception -> negative action
Pastor said,"Rise up and war! Make deceptions go away. When there is truth, there cannot be lies. Deception has no right and no room in our life."
Then he asked whoever in need of prayer over such struggles to come to the altar. And i frozed where i stood. I wanted to go up but i just seemed to have gotten stucked. Then i started to feel lousy about myself again...just like that night at Daryl's church. What's the problem with me!!! Today's topic seem to be directed at me, well and maybe a few others, but i failed to do what i was supposed to do again. (deception??)
I started to wonder if all my struggles occur because i am having a spiritual warfare. All the grey areas in my mind are worldly mindset and i am thinking it's ok because i do not wish to be so strict to myself. Perhaps too much flexibilities equals to a lack of discipline to correct the incorrect.
Anyway, i went home feeling horrible and sulky. Jervis and Jervoise didn't want to go out..Jervis and mum went to the new place, dad is playing mahjong with auntie Eugenia and uncle Charlie. Me, i took a lift from mum and Jervis to Kembangan and went shopping at Bugis. Bought a top that i can wear to work tomorrow and lip gloss. Walked into Jean Yip, did a facial (lucky they have an available time slot for walk-in customers, that's me) and went Ros n Ron to groom my brows. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of being able to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, brows grooming, testing on cosmetics, perming eyelashes, massages, treated with chivalry from men etc etc ;)
By the end of the facial, i felt good already hahaha will think about everything when i am feeling better and logical.
Met up with Duncan and Vivian for dinner at Holland village...but i really have not much of an appetite. When will the cough go away???????
I shall move back to Bedok sometime this week...little indulgence in happiness...
Woke up at 10am this morning...Jfk dropped mum off at her church and we had breakfast at Macdonald in Bedok. Been a long time since i managed to wake up and have breakfast at Macdonald haha anyway i was not late for church today :) bless him
Pastor talked about deception today.
Deception: to cause one to believe what is false
: to lead in error
: to be mislead by a false appearance or statement
Thought: argument/reasoning
: stronghold of deception (web of deception)
How is deception manifested?
1) By sowing corrupted thoughts/doubtful thoughts
2) By sowing thoughts of discord
3) By thinking we are Masters of our own world
4) By erroneous judgement/appearance
Example, you woke up one morning, look into the mirror and think to yourself,"I am ugly." (A thought is planted into your head leading you into deception that you are ugly) So, you start to dress shabbily, not take care of yourself and soon, you will indeed be unsightly.
bad thought -> deception -> negative action
Pastor said,"Rise up and war! Make deceptions go away. When there is truth, there cannot be lies. Deception has no right and no room in our life."
Then he asked whoever in need of prayer over such struggles to come to the altar. And i frozed where i stood. I wanted to go up but i just seemed to have gotten stucked. Then i started to feel lousy about myself again...just like that night at Daryl's church. What's the problem with me!!! Today's topic seem to be directed at me, well and maybe a few others, but i failed to do what i was supposed to do again. (deception??)
I started to wonder if all my struggles occur because i am having a spiritual warfare. All the grey areas in my mind are worldly mindset and i am thinking it's ok because i do not wish to be so strict to myself. Perhaps too much flexibilities equals to a lack of discipline to correct the incorrect.
Anyway, i went home feeling horrible and sulky. Jervis and Jervoise didn't want to go out..Jervis and mum went to the new place, dad is playing mahjong with auntie Eugenia and uncle Charlie. Me, i took a lift from mum and Jervis to Kembangan and went shopping at Bugis. Bought a top that i can wear to work tomorrow and lip gloss. Walked into Jean Yip, did a facial (lucky they have an available time slot for walk-in customers, that's me) and went Ros n Ron to groom my brows. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of being able to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, brows grooming, testing on cosmetics, perming eyelashes, massages, treated with chivalry from men etc etc ;)
By the end of the facial, i felt good already hahaha will think about everything when i am feeling better and logical.
Met up with Duncan and Vivian for dinner at Holland village...but i really have not much of an appetite. When will the cough go away???????
I shall move back to Bedok sometime this week...little indulgence in happiness...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
13 October, 2007 - Sick of being sick
Attended a product training given by Edwin and Sarah yesterday afternoon..thought it was for all sales & marketing staff but it was actually sort of an introduction to all the new staff. Edwin is really a detail orientated guy..i think he would make a good teacher haha anyway stayed back to clear emails after that and hurray, cleared all and i felt relieved. Chatted with him for awhile...i think he belongs to the 30% under Maine's classification...such a coincidence and such unlikeliness...my first impression of both Jeremy and Edwin were bad...life is just so strange and unexpected sometimes...
Was supposed to go Butter Factory with Jervoise last nite to celebrate Yvonne'e birthsay but i "dua" him cos i felt unwell heehee went to Still road to buy tidbits with Jervis and Jeffrey instead :) Jervis drove and he is abit slow haiz
Woke up at almost 2pm today...feeling lethargic still...maybe the cough made me tired. Been almost 3 weeks and i cannot understand why won't it go away. I have already cut down on all the sinful fried food and dilligently drank all the cough syrup and nothing helps :(
Had to go Yishun to help move some furniture and it's so dusty that i felt giddy. Just feel so tired to be at home sitting around doing nothing...gives me a headache. Jeff, Marvin, Jasmin and me went to Ang Mo Kio hub for dinner at Subway, the sandwiches are really darn nice and healthy. Ang Mo Kio hub is so different from how it was a few years ago, there is a shopping mall with little shops selling really cool stuff. Singapore is really a shopping paradise. Jasmin skip around the shops with me and this sales lady thought she is my daughter! Is this a sign to have a kid?? Heck the idea, i hope not. Not ready to have a kid now..maybe not ever..should not cave in to peer pressure. I wonder if being afraid of the pain from childbirth is an excuse. I told Daryl that the real reason is if the world is ending soon, i should not have a child and make him/her suffer. Daryl said having a child is a blessing from God and i was wrong to think this way..but i cannot help it. Was kinda shocked that Edwin had this thought too...cos i thought i was the only crapo with this insane idea.
October...November...December...just last October, i was living life on the "wild" side...no struggles, no guilty feelings...just lotsa partying and drinking.
When will i be well again??? I hate the cough and i really wana be at some club DANCING and drinking!!! Will have some restraints now...for obvious reasons.. Funny, i actually miss Anna now..we used to joke that if she was a man, we would have an intense relationship...cos she is such an observant and slightly psychic gal. Come to think of it, we must have both "flirted" by dancing s******y to each other. (I am very, very "straight" :p )
Was supposed to go Butter Factory with Jervoise last nite to celebrate Yvonne'e birthsay but i "dua" him cos i felt unwell heehee went to Still road to buy tidbits with Jervis and Jeffrey instead :) Jervis drove and he is abit slow haiz
Woke up at almost 2pm today...feeling lethargic still...maybe the cough made me tired. Been almost 3 weeks and i cannot understand why won't it go away. I have already cut down on all the sinful fried food and dilligently drank all the cough syrup and nothing helps :(
Had to go Yishun to help move some furniture and it's so dusty that i felt giddy. Just feel so tired to be at home sitting around doing nothing...gives me a headache. Jeff, Marvin, Jasmin and me went to Ang Mo Kio hub for dinner at Subway, the sandwiches are really darn nice and healthy. Ang Mo Kio hub is so different from how it was a few years ago, there is a shopping mall with little shops selling really cool stuff. Singapore is really a shopping paradise. Jasmin skip around the shops with me and this sales lady thought she is my daughter! Is this a sign to have a kid?? Heck the idea, i hope not. Not ready to have a kid now..maybe not ever..should not cave in to peer pressure. I wonder if being afraid of the pain from childbirth is an excuse. I told Daryl that the real reason is if the world is ending soon, i should not have a child and make him/her suffer. Daryl said having a child is a blessing from God and i was wrong to think this way..but i cannot help it. Was kinda shocked that Edwin had this thought too...cos i thought i was the only crapo with this insane idea.
October...November...December...just last October, i was living life on the "wild" side...no struggles, no guilty feelings...just lotsa partying and drinking.
When will i be well again??? I hate the cough and i really wana be at some club DANCING and drinking!!! Will have some restraints now...for obvious reasons.. Funny, i actually miss Anna now..we used to joke that if she was a man, we would have an intense relationship...cos she is such an observant and slightly psychic gal. Come to think of it, we must have both "flirted" by dancing s******y to each other. (I am very, very "straight" :p )
Thursday, October 11, 2007
11 October, 2007 - Facebook??
I miss clubbing..i really do...and it's not holding the mug of beer in my hand that i miss, i miss being on the dance floor making love to the music...dancing to my own beat, lost in my own world...i supposed as long as i don't dink so much and get drunk, i should be fine :)
Rubs, we will go ok? When we have got all your cosmetics ready, we will go enjoy ourselves...maybe we can go with my new found friend, she can really drink and she can give us discount at Sole Lovers haha...my pedicure friend ;)
For some strange reason, i felt like disappearing from everyone today..i wanted to hide away from all...i wish i was at the seaside having coffee and staring at the sky. Maybe it's my eye..i think it's abit swollen.
Facebook...i first saw this word in my hotmail email sent to me by a friend in Hong Kong inviting me to join her facebook. I thought it was some sort of virus email and i deleted it. Then a few days later, i got an invitation from another friend to join facebook, thinking "wah damn! must be some damn powerful virus going around" and deleted the email as well...then more deleting done and then i heard about FACEBOOK, something similar to friendster. To think i have been deleting all my friends invitation!! And i got myself an account cos Daryl said he has one and asked if i have an account too!!! Wah how can i not be in facebook when Daryl, someone who just discovered the beauty of msn this year, has an account! And err (sorry Daryl) he is older than me heh heh Ego thing... okok worldly mindset :P
Drove to Siglap with Jervis for cheesecakes BUT it's sold out damn! We settled for waffles at Gelare instead...i really love staying in Bedok with my family, i am so glad to have Jervis and Jervoise, really love the both of them :) tho' they made me pour water, fetch their stuff for them around the house, wash the dishes...(hmmm) but i don't really mind, i am happy just having them around.
Somebody find me!!! I do not want to be in hibernation mode for long...
Rubs, we will go ok? When we have got all your cosmetics ready, we will go enjoy ourselves...maybe we can go with my new found friend, she can really drink and she can give us discount at Sole Lovers haha...my pedicure friend ;)
For some strange reason, i felt like disappearing from everyone today..i wanted to hide away from all...i wish i was at the seaside having coffee and staring at the sky. Maybe it's my eye..i think it's abit swollen.
Facebook...i first saw this word in my hotmail email sent to me by a friend in Hong Kong inviting me to join her facebook. I thought it was some sort of virus email and i deleted it. Then a few days later, i got an invitation from another friend to join facebook, thinking "wah damn! must be some damn powerful virus going around" and deleted the email as well...then more deleting done and then i heard about FACEBOOK, something similar to friendster. To think i have been deleting all my friends invitation!! And i got myself an account cos Daryl said he has one and asked if i have an account too!!! Wah how can i not be in facebook when Daryl, someone who just discovered the beauty of msn this year, has an account! And err (sorry Daryl) he is older than me heh heh Ego thing... okok worldly mindset :P
Drove to Siglap with Jervis for cheesecakes BUT it's sold out damn! We settled for waffles at Gelare instead...i really love staying in Bedok with my family, i am so glad to have Jervis and Jervoise, really love the both of them :) tho' they made me pour water, fetch their stuff for them around the house, wash the dishes...(hmmm) but i don't really mind, i am happy just having them around.
Somebody find me!!! I do not want to be in hibernation mode for long...
10 October, 2007 - Obedience
The message on my calender today is on obedience...if that's God's way of talking to me, i wonder what is it that i have not been obeying... am i still holding onto a worldly mindset like what Daryl said...what is it that i have done or have not done? If struggle is good cos it's a sign of a breakthrough, then i am really struggling. Struggle is cos i am now aware of God's words and am comparing it against human mindset. I am no nun and i am certainly not perfect...but i am trying to read as much bible as possible and trying even harder to be obedient. Maybe i should really just disappear and hibernate for awhile...maybe hide away in Cambodia and get away from it all...maybe searching for a "self" needs to be done in solitude.
And i really wonder when will the cough goes away..i don't like the way i sound now cos i sound like an ah gua...and i am almost close to like having an asthma attack drats :(
What would i do to change my mindset willingly? Please don't start let me have weird ideas again...
Matthew 7:21
Not everyone who says to me,"Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who does the will of of my Father who is in heaven..
And i really wonder when will the cough goes away..i don't like the way i sound now cos i sound like an ah gua...and i am almost close to like having an asthma attack drats :(
What would i do to change my mindset willingly? Please don't start let me have weird ideas again...
Matthew 7:21
Not everyone who says to me,"Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who does the will of of my Father who is in heaven..
Sunday, October 7, 2007
7 October, 2007 - Sex & the City Nite Out
The bak bak sista made a pact last year during Rub's birthday celebration at Pan Pacific hotel...that we will have a Sex & the City theme outing sometime soon...and the pact finally materialised this Saturday on Oct 6! We drew lots to decide which character we were to take on...Yan is classically no nonsense Miranda, Rub is aptly the ever-sweet Charlotte and me the mismatch as the very sexual Samantha. We were supposed to do this last year and then postponed to early this year and wah..only happened exactly one year after Rub's birthday...sigh..time really flies
Anyway i painted my nails red and made my eyes as smoky looking as possible...wore the tightest dress in red heels and still cannot pull off the "Samantha" look haiz Yan looked just like how Miranda should look in her beige dress shift dress and light make-up. Rub look, well, just like Charlotte and herself...sweet and complete with pearls :) I am just so "Carrie"...
Dinner at La something, an italian restaurant in Dempsey Hill. We ordered a huge pizza, bread basket and a bottle of white. Everything was correct, the mood, the ambience, the food but the service. Damn, we paid good money for bad service. The waitress spilled water over the table and on my phone, no apologies from her and no attempts to clean up the mess.
Yan: Do you think there will be discounts for any credit cards?
Rubs: Errm can ask.
Waitress: *shouting across tables* there is no discount for any cards
Fwah damn rude lo, anyway, we made a compliant on her to the manager hahaha so bad of us but she really ought to learn about manners.
Went to dragonfly and watch William Scorpion, have beer, vodka lime, fries, wedges and water. And by 1+, we felt sleepy. Sleepy only cos i am not feeling well, Yan and Rubs are probably old hahahahaha sorry gals ;)
Thank God for friends :)
Anyway i painted my nails red and made my eyes as smoky looking as possible...wore the tightest dress in red heels and still cannot pull off the "Samantha" look haiz Yan looked just like how Miranda should look in her beige dress shift dress and light make-up. Rub look, well, just like Charlotte and herself...sweet and complete with pearls :) I am just so "Carrie"...
Dinner at La something, an italian restaurant in Dempsey Hill. We ordered a huge pizza, bread basket and a bottle of white. Everything was correct, the mood, the ambience, the food but the service. Damn, we paid good money for bad service. The waitress spilled water over the table and on my phone, no apologies from her and no attempts to clean up the mess.
Yan: Do you think there will be discounts for any credit cards?
Rubs: Errm can ask.
Waitress: *shouting across tables* there is no discount for any cards
Fwah damn rude lo, anyway, we made a compliant on her to the manager hahaha so bad of us but she really ought to learn about manners.
Went to dragonfly and watch William Scorpion, have beer, vodka lime, fries, wedges and water. And by 1+, we felt sleepy. Sleepy only cos i am not feeling well, Yan and Rubs are probably old hahahahaha sorry gals ;)
Thank God for friends :)
Thursday, October 4, 2007
3 October, 2007 - Home to Bedok
I am now sitting on Jervoise's chair typing at his computer :) it's my first day in Bedok and i am so tired already...lugged 1 big suitcase (i think i brough 2 weeks' worth of clothing), many pairs of shoes and a whole lot of toiletries, accessories, hair spray...(kena nagged at by mum for bringing so many pairs of shoes here haha)
I am using his computer instead of my laptop cos i have no idea how to connect to the chanhome wireless network...drats
Dar has to go stay at Punggol to wait for the HDB guys tomorrow morning...
HAPPY TO BE WITH MY FAMILY :)
I am using his computer instead of my laptop cos i have no idea how to connect to the chanhome wireless network...drats
Dar has to go stay at Punggol to wait for the HDB guys tomorrow morning...
HAPPY TO BE WITH MY FAMILY :)
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