End of my stay in Bedok, had to lug all my stuff back home and now the whole house is in one big mess. Everything feels so clustered, so much so that i feel like running away...i wish i can continue to stay in Bedok for another week...life was so happy. I like walking to 7-11 with Jervis to get tidbits and biscuits. (can't drive cos' Jervis insists on doing our part on global awareness in saving the earth) Chatting with Jervis about his career as a lawyer in about 2 to 3 years time and about life in general over waffles and french songs. Well, back to reality now, will have to spend a weekend packing the whole house and setting it straight again. Happiness always seem so shortlived...
Woke up at 10am this morning...Jfk dropped mum off at her church and we had breakfast at Macdonald in Bedok. Been a long time since i managed to wake up and have breakfast at Macdonald haha anyway i was not late for church today :) bless him
Pastor talked about deception today.
Deception: to cause one to believe what is false
: to lead in error
: to be mislead by a false appearance or statement
Thought: argument/reasoning
: stronghold of deception (web of deception)
How is deception manifested?
1) By sowing corrupted thoughts/doubtful thoughts
2) By sowing thoughts of discord
3) By thinking we are Masters of our own world
4) By erroneous judgement/appearance
Example, you woke up one morning, look into the mirror and think to yourself,"I am ugly." (A thought is planted into your head leading you into deception that you are ugly) So, you start to dress shabbily, not take care of yourself and soon, you will indeed be unsightly.
bad thought -> deception -> negative action
Pastor said,"Rise up and war! Make deceptions go away. When there is truth, there cannot be lies. Deception has no right and no room in our life."
Then he asked whoever in need of prayer over such struggles to come to the altar. And i frozed where i stood. I wanted to go up but i just seemed to have gotten stucked. Then i started to feel lousy about myself again...just like that night at Daryl's church. What's the problem with me!!! Today's topic seem to be directed at me, well and maybe a few others, but i failed to do what i was supposed to do again. (deception??)
I started to wonder if all my struggles occur because i am having a spiritual warfare. All the grey areas in my mind are worldly mindset and i am thinking it's ok because i do not wish to be so strict to myself. Perhaps too much flexibilities equals to a lack of discipline to correct the incorrect.
Anyway, i went home feeling horrible and sulky. Jervis and Jervoise didn't want to go out..Jervis and mum went to the new place, dad is playing mahjong with auntie Eugenia and uncle Charlie. Me, i took a lift from mum and Jervis to Kembangan and went shopping at Bugis. Bought a top that i can wear to work tomorrow and lip gloss. Walked into Jean Yip, did a facial (lucky they have an available time slot for walk-in customers, that's me) and went Ros n Ron to groom my brows. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of being able to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, brows grooming, testing on cosmetics, perming eyelashes, massages, treated with chivalry from men etc etc ;)
By the end of the facial, i felt good already hahaha will think about everything when i am feeling better and logical.
Met up with Duncan and Vivian for dinner at Holland village...but i really have not much of an appetite. When will the cough go away???????
I shall move back to Bedok sometime this week...little indulgence in happiness...
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