16 April, 2007 - Fuck Buddy = No strings attached

Illicit affairs......was watching "Do not disturb" on arts central and the show got me thinking. With such a tagline -> colleagues during office hours, lovers during lunch...gosh i really gotta watch this episode. He is married for 12 years with no kids, she is married for 18 years with 2 kids, she is his legal assistant during office hours and great sex partner during lunch hmmm the affair just happened so naturally after a company dinner and dance..what was supposed to be a one night stand, become a week, a month, a year and holy shit, the act of the guy defacating in front of her actually brings the illicit relationship to an advanced level...would that be love? Or just plain, vain attachment?

Can you love 2 persons at the same time? Is it posible to be married and yet yearn to be with another person? Who is the one providing you with the emotional needs? Sexual needs? Is this the fuck buddy system/fren with benefits thingy? Can you really be cool with each other's family and continue having an undercover love affair in bed?

A lady colleague once told me that it's perfectly alright to have a fling with another man as long as her husband and kids dun find out about it. She was pretty sure her husband was having his own fair share of flings as well... And at the end of the day, she will never risk messing up the nuclear family that she has set up because she loves her kids. I could not really understand what she meant when she got her point to me..but i guess i do now. Thanks to Adrian Pang and Andre de Cruz's fantastic protayals in the show hahaha

After tonight's show, i am positive that there are plenty of such relationships...we condemn such relationships because our society conforms to a monogamy relationship. You are supposed to get your emotional needs, sexual needs and whatever other needs in one person that you have chosen to be with. But i believe in grey areas...it's really quite difficult to understand the human brain much less the heart... i guess everything and anything is possible..especially when you feel lonely and vulnerable. Like when you are not truly happy and contented, and there is a big gap to be filled by oh well sex, which ironically will lead to emotional estrangements which will then lead to more loneliness.

But then again, it's also possible that sex is the only transaction without the emotional strings attached. Like both Adrian Pang's and Andre de Cruz's characters in the show, both do not have any expectations in the relationship. It's almost like both are happily/unhappily married to their respective spouses, and the forbidden relationship that they have now is like the icing on the cake. They have both transcend beyond the emotional struggle in the earlier stage of the relationship to have come to terms with being cool about each other's marital status...hmmm i supposed this is possible..it's such a huge world out there and anyway, when you love, love with all your heart.

"One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again."

You choose the path that you want and you set your own rules.

Looking back -------> Going forward.......the transistion would be closure. To have closure is to make it easier to look forward