Today is the day that i agreed to go to the faith renewal thingy in Daryl's church. Was excited the whole day and i prayed that i would be able to get a cab so that i would be on time.
Then i met the Supply Chain director in the lift...i mean i always seem to meet him in the lift and we always exchange smiles but never our names. Then today, he asked me where i stayed and he told me that he stayed in Novena..Balmoral's. And i wondered what made me say "hey i am going Novena, can i hitch a ride please" bingo, got a ride :) and it was only in his BMW that i realised his name is Alvin, the Supply Chain director woohoo As we chatted, i learnt so many inside things that my antenna could not pick up in the office hahaha Strangely, he let me alight at the nearest bus stop cos' there was a jam and he could not make detour to the MRT. And just when i was wondering how to get to church, i just board bus 66 cos i could not get a cab. Everything seemed to be going perfectly well...i hadn't meant to take that bus..but due to the jam, the bus has been stationary at the bus stop for more than 10 mins...and i just walked into it. Amazingly, this bus goes to Adams road!! Really have to thank God.
The guest speaker was good, he has convictions and he has passion. He is articulate and funny. Best of all, he did some healing and i see people falling backwards and some people shivering and probably some people are crying as well. I do not understand why..not in the past, not now and i don't know if i ever will understand. I have always thought that my pride made me not so receptive to such strongly "touched by the Holy spirit" thingy and tonight, i think i confirmed it myself. Reverend asked who wants to be...i think something like touched by the Lord again etc etc so that he can lead in a prayer..all these would be done with all eyes closed and all heads bowed. Apparently, not all heads were bowed and not all eyes closed cos' i raise my hand and i was asked if i wana go up to the altar!! Cos' i shook my head vehemently and say dunwan la wah lau! Then he said "i can sense that there are people who are still not up yet" (yes, people like me) and i started to feel lousy. I feel that my love for God is between Him and me, why can't i not go up to the altar and put it on display? Felt really pissed and felt like running away.
As usual, i couldn't disguise my "xian" look and Daryl could tell. Should learn the fine art of hiding behind masks sometimes..
Anyway, i have my doubts and reservations again...i don't want to backslide this time but i really do not wish to have to follow to a whole list of "to dos" and "not to dos" list...
:(
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1 comment:
Thank you so much for sharing. I always get a kick out of your bloggings. Keep up the good work.
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