I am sitting in the living room in Bedok Reservoir now, blogging and feeling sad. We are going to shift to the new place in Kembangan soon and i kinda miss here already. So many years of memories, so many birthdays spent here. It's time to say good bye now :(
Today is the first time i am attending cell group. Got there by 8.30pm at Serangoon and there i was, feeling tired, hungry, sleepy and reading out John something. 11 of us today...sat around and sang 2 hyms, read some verses about loving your Christian brothers and sisters. Some of them were praying in tongues and as usual, freak me out. All i wanted to do was to get out asap so that i can go home and get dinner, bathe and sleep. I don't like it one bit. Perhaps it's too fast to decide if i do enjoy it since it's only a 2 hours session...but i really just don't feel comfortable. Somehow, i feel that sitting around with 10 strangers trying to pour our hearts out at our first meeting is too much for me to handle...and it seems so hypocritical to do so. And i am shy (minus the painfully now) at times. Anyway...to really pour your heart out to strangers is a really bad idea...at least that's what i think for now.
Part of me was fighting to enjoy this care and connect session as much as possible and the other part of me just wanted to go home haiz...For a split second, i thought to myself that if being Christian means i have to be really prim and proper and give up all partying forever, i will become bored faster than you can spell bored. STRUGGLES...why can't i love Him in my own ways? I really find it tough to pray aloud in big groups. I always felt prayers are between you and God. Relationship should be kept private...
I sent Jervoise a sms to tell him that no matter what happens in his life, i will always love him. Really feel saddened that he is getting obsessed with WOW and distancing himself from us. And lagi best when he brought home a girl late last night who sounds like she is from China. I like like screaming at him for not coming home last night. Anyway it's now 2am and i am still wide awake waiting for him to come home...
He is home finally and it's 3am now...and that was just a fling??? Maybe i should relax and just let him be. He is old enough and i should just stop being so anal retentive about everything.
BAD MOOD
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Youth
For a long time since "dunno when", i miss my youth. At 31, i think i am still young but suddenly, i miss being in my teens and 20s...impetuous youth. Reckless, irresponsible and whatever... You can make just about almost any mistakes (nothing fatal of cos) and it will probably be dismissed as "it's ok, he/she is still young la"
Must be Jervoise's 21st birthday photo albums...made me feeling nostalgic arrrggghhhhh
Then again, a woman is probably at her best in her 30s...like what Yan has said, best age to be at is 30 to 37. Anyway, the most beautiful face is that of a beautiful heart and smile. Shucks but I STILL MISS MY YOUTH
Paris Hilton has got to be the perfect epitome of what i meant about youth :)
Must be Jervoise's 21st birthday photo albums...made me feeling nostalgic arrrggghhhhh
Then again, a woman is probably at her best in her 30s...like what Yan has said, best age to be at is 30 to 37. Anyway, the most beautiful face is that of a beautiful heart and smile. Shucks but I STILL MISS MY YOUTH
Paris Hilton has got to be the perfect epitome of what i meant about youth :)
29 October, 2007 - Product Training
Attended a wedding dinner and Shangri-la in Orchard last night and as usual, wasted the sharks fin, abalone and prawns. But the dessert was chocolate mousse! Jfk wanted to leave before the dinner ends to avoid the jam later but i insisted on having the mousse muahahaha good move, it was damn GOOD :)
Had a product training at hotel Mercure today, Sarah picked me and Desmond for breakfast at Ah-Kun in Parkway. The training was too technical but it's good to be away from the office once in awhile to mingle with other people in the industry. Helps to gather more market information and see who knows so and so...in short, hala hala many many small talks. I like to watch how people from different companies mingle around, exchange namecards and chat about...basically work. When the Taiwanese guy talked about impedance,inductance,chip inductors, transformers etc, i am reminded of my previous job...standing at the booth in Taitronics, trying to get more prospects.
Training ended at 3pm and we could all go home after that. So happy haha it was 3.30pm when i stepped foot in Bedok and i just had to take a deep breath to be in Bedok at 3.30pm in the afternoon. Took the bus home with Desmond and got home by 4pm. So very happy to be home in the afternoon. To think i was actually contemplating going back to the office to get some work done...i must be crazy and obsessed...stoopid OCD...heng i never do it cos cannot "spoil market" by going back hahaha
Today, as i stared at the flowers on both my toes, i am pleased. They are very balanced and asymmetric to each other keke so it was a good 2 hours spent doing my pedicure and manicure yesterday :)
Had a product training at hotel Mercure today, Sarah picked me and Desmond for breakfast at Ah-Kun in Parkway. The training was too technical but it's good to be away from the office once in awhile to mingle with other people in the industry. Helps to gather more market information and see who knows so and so...in short, hala hala many many small talks. I like to watch how people from different companies mingle around, exchange namecards and chat about...basically work. When the Taiwanese guy talked about impedance,inductance,chip inductors, transformers etc, i am reminded of my previous job...standing at the booth in Taitronics, trying to get more prospects.
Training ended at 3pm and we could all go home after that. So happy haha it was 3.30pm when i stepped foot in Bedok and i just had to take a deep breath to be in Bedok at 3.30pm in the afternoon. Took the bus home with Desmond and got home by 4pm. So very happy to be home in the afternoon. To think i was actually contemplating going back to the office to get some work done...i must be crazy and obsessed...stoopid OCD...heng i never do it cos cannot "spoil market" by going back hahaha
Today, as i stared at the flowers on both my toes, i am pleased. They are very balanced and asymmetric to each other keke so it was a good 2 hours spent doing my pedicure and manicure yesterday :)
Saturday, October 27, 2007
26 October, 2007 - Genuine smile = Most beautiful face
Woke up at 9am this morning and had to rush to meet Rubes and get to church for community work. I wore a red polo tee (old folks like red for errrm lucky colour?) *rubbish* anyway one of the rules is on code of dressing. So, nothing revealing cos "you do not want the old uncles to get distracted" ya? hahaha
As i see the elderly folks walked around slowly to find their allocated table, my heart really went out to them. Mr Lau was the person in charge of this portion of CCSS and i can really feel the passion to what he is doing. He must be in his 30s and he is a very plain looking guy, a guy i would never take a second look on the streets. But as he played the guitar and sang the songs in Hokkien, Cantonese and Malay, smiling at each song, i thought he was really kind looking and somehow, this makes him look good. He asked who wants to go on an excursion on Nov 16 and everyone raised their hands excitedly...these elderly folks seem like little kids to me suddenly..this ah-ma told me these excursion usually last a few hours only...and i realised that there is nothing much for them to look forward to in life. The gathering every Saturday mornings and ocassional excursions are the little things that they looked forward to. Simple joys of life. We sang a few songs, distributed some photos taken in their last mid autumn outing, and at around 11.30am, we served them lunch. Lunch was a bowl of soup, a plate of rice with two fishballs, two chicken wings and some cabbage. I noticed an old auntie saving up the fishballs, chicken wings and cabbage into a red plastic bag, eating only plain rice...i supposed it was for dinner later...damn i hope i am wrong.
Reminded me of my grandma's funeral held at Circuit road this May...i see elderly people sitting at the void decks and staring aimlessly into space. This group of elderly folks stayed in Circuit road...the very place that i said i would get depressed if i had to live there. Such irony...i am here to serve them now. My auntie who is in her 70s stayed at the same neighbourhood...i realised this when we sent them back. Second auntie is the perfect epitome of the old and the lonely when she threatened to jump off the apartment where she was staying to get our attention.
Anyway, some of the elderly stayed in one bedroom flats and some only had a living room with perhaps a mattress. Arrghhhh i am so very lucky! My house is still messy from all the renovation and boxes of stuff unpacked but i sleep in a big comfortable bed at night and all my basic needs are met. Work is sometimes stressful but i am thankful that i am not sitting around feeling aimless and watching the world passes me by.
奉献社会。。。very glad that i am given the chance to do so.
As i watched them sing and clap to the music today, i also saw smiles of genuine enjoyment and happiness. I felt so tempted to whip out my phone and snap a picture of an old granny with a big, wide toothless grin. Her smile was so beautiful that you can see her eyes brighten up.
The most beautiful or handsome face is that of a smiling face...sincere, genuine and happy smile...from the heart :)
Had lunch at Subway *yummy slurp* it's really my favourite sandwich joint at the moment. Love the soft cookies :) and when i am with my partner-in-crime for shopping...what else could we do but to indulge in retail therapy again keke unfortunately..."yi-ma" came today shucks...no wonder i have been feeling blue the whole week...damn PMS.
As i see the elderly folks walked around slowly to find their allocated table, my heart really went out to them. Mr Lau was the person in charge of this portion of CCSS and i can really feel the passion to what he is doing. He must be in his 30s and he is a very plain looking guy, a guy i would never take a second look on the streets. But as he played the guitar and sang the songs in Hokkien, Cantonese and Malay, smiling at each song, i thought he was really kind looking and somehow, this makes him look good. He asked who wants to go on an excursion on Nov 16 and everyone raised their hands excitedly...these elderly folks seem like little kids to me suddenly..this ah-ma told me these excursion usually last a few hours only...and i realised that there is nothing much for them to look forward to in life. The gathering every Saturday mornings and ocassional excursions are the little things that they looked forward to. Simple joys of life. We sang a few songs, distributed some photos taken in their last mid autumn outing, and at around 11.30am, we served them lunch. Lunch was a bowl of soup, a plate of rice with two fishballs, two chicken wings and some cabbage. I noticed an old auntie saving up the fishballs, chicken wings and cabbage into a red plastic bag, eating only plain rice...i supposed it was for dinner later...damn i hope i am wrong.
Reminded me of my grandma's funeral held at Circuit road this May...i see elderly people sitting at the void decks and staring aimlessly into space. This group of elderly folks stayed in Circuit road...the very place that i said i would get depressed if i had to live there. Such irony...i am here to serve them now. My auntie who is in her 70s stayed at the same neighbourhood...i realised this when we sent them back. Second auntie is the perfect epitome of the old and the lonely when she threatened to jump off the apartment where she was staying to get our attention.
Anyway, some of the elderly stayed in one bedroom flats and some only had a living room with perhaps a mattress. Arrghhhh i am so very lucky! My house is still messy from all the renovation and boxes of stuff unpacked but i sleep in a big comfortable bed at night and all my basic needs are met. Work is sometimes stressful but i am thankful that i am not sitting around feeling aimless and watching the world passes me by.
奉献社会。。。very glad that i am given the chance to do so.
As i watched them sing and clap to the music today, i also saw smiles of genuine enjoyment and happiness. I felt so tempted to whip out my phone and snap a picture of an old granny with a big, wide toothless grin. Her smile was so beautiful that you can see her eyes brighten up.
The most beautiful or handsome face is that of a smiling face...sincere, genuine and happy smile...from the heart :)
Had lunch at Subway *yummy slurp* it's really my favourite sandwich joint at the moment. Love the soft cookies :) and when i am with my partner-in-crime for shopping...what else could we do but to indulge in retail therapy again keke unfortunately..."yi-ma" came today shucks...no wonder i have been feeling blue the whole week...damn PMS.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
25 October, 2007 - Prioritise Everything
Urgent, the dictionary's defination of this word is:
- Compelling immediate action or attention; pressing.
- Insistent or importunate: the urgent words "Hurry! Hurry!"
It dawned upon me today that the word "urgent" is being overtly abused in most of the emails. It simply means "hurry, hurry, look at my email first, mine should be given priority over all any other emails". Urgent and important, urgent, important but not urgent, simply just important...should it be in this order? Jin How once shared that he felt overwhelmed by all the emails, not sure how to prioritise and is unable to catch up with the unforgiving fast pace...anyway, the bad feeling that i had since Monday might have materialised. I think he has decided to throw in the towel, everything happens for a reason, maybe it's for the best.
**********************************************************************************
A head hunter called me at my desk this morning. I tried asking her who gave her my number but it was confidential..just "someone from my network"... i am really curious as i have no idea who could have given her my contact. My mind went blank when she asked if i was looking for a job and i think i told her that i wasn't. But i was really curious about who gave her my contact because she actually called my direct line and i pretended to sound interested and asked about which industry would it be. Kinda shocked when the companies that she named are mostly my suppliers! So tempting but i don't feel the urge to move on...so just told her i can't talk now, anyway i wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying cos i was staring at a spec drawing...i think i sounded blur and faraway hahaha Gave her my mobile number and hang up. I wonder if she will call me again hmmm if she does, maybe i shall just psycho her to tell me the name of the person and close case. I am so glad i like the people here..and people has always been on top of my priority list. Blessings :)
Had lunch alone again today to read the bible. I am beginning to doubt that i can finish reading it by end of December...jialat la
The best thing that happened today was JFK is on his way to fulfilling his dreams :) this is the best news today. Yan picked me from work to meet Rubes and Jeff for dinner at Bencoolen. As we were sitting there having dinner,i felt so blessed to have 3 very important people in my life sitting at the same table chatting :) Oh and we were gluttons. Each of us had a plate of nasi lemak and a prata and 2 cups of drinks keke so full, so happy, so fulfilling...life is beautiful. Thank God for everything , all the joy, happiness etc etc etc.
I am looking forward to the beginning of my volunteering work this Saturday.
- Compelling immediate action or attention; pressing.
- Insistent or importunate: the urgent words "Hurry! Hurry!"
It dawned upon me today that the word "urgent" is being overtly abused in most of the emails. It simply means "hurry, hurry, look at my email first, mine should be given priority over all any other emails". Urgent and important, urgent, important but not urgent, simply just important...should it be in this order? Jin How once shared that he felt overwhelmed by all the emails, not sure how to prioritise and is unable to catch up with the unforgiving fast pace...anyway, the bad feeling that i had since Monday might have materialised. I think he has decided to throw in the towel, everything happens for a reason, maybe it's for the best.
**********************************************************************************
A head hunter called me at my desk this morning. I tried asking her who gave her my number but it was confidential..just "someone from my network"... i am really curious as i have no idea who could have given her my contact. My mind went blank when she asked if i was looking for a job and i think i told her that i wasn't. But i was really curious about who gave her my contact because she actually called my direct line and i pretended to sound interested and asked about which industry would it be. Kinda shocked when the companies that she named are mostly my suppliers! So tempting but i don't feel the urge to move on...so just told her i can't talk now, anyway i wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying cos i was staring at a spec drawing...i think i sounded blur and faraway hahaha Gave her my mobile number and hang up. I wonder if she will call me again hmmm if she does, maybe i shall just psycho her to tell me the name of the person and close case. I am so glad i like the people here..and people has always been on top of my priority list. Blessings :)
Had lunch alone again today to read the bible. I am beginning to doubt that i can finish reading it by end of December...jialat la
The best thing that happened today was JFK is on his way to fulfilling his dreams :) this is the best news today. Yan picked me from work to meet Rubes and Jeff for dinner at Bencoolen. As we were sitting there having dinner,i felt so blessed to have 3 very important people in my life sitting at the same table chatting :) Oh and we were gluttons. Each of us had a plate of nasi lemak and a prata and 2 cups of drinks keke so full, so happy, so fulfilling...life is beautiful. Thank God for everything , all the joy, happiness etc etc etc.
I am looking forward to the beginning of my volunteering work this Saturday.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
23 October, 2007 - Healthy, happy salad morning
Happy day today cos they liked my salad :) and i feel joy when i see the smiles. Simple joys of life. I wish Jin How said he wanted breakfast too...so i can make some for him as well...anyway i hope he is happier and i hope his workload is lighter...less emails...less issues as well.
Sneaked away for awhile during lunch to read the Bible under some "dunno what trees" on an uncomfortable bench. And it was hot cos the sun was shining brightly above me. And i pray for the weather not to be this hot. Was actually just testing water with my kinda bo liao request and then it became windy and cooling and clouds covering the sun. I was shocked! I felt bad for testing water...
Anyway, this sprang up in my head.
"My child, I will never forsake you."
Then after i am done with Matthew (ok half of Matthew), i flip to Psalms randomly and saw this.
Psalm 138:8
The Lord will work out His plans for my life -
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don't abandon me, for you made me.
Wah i love my new "New Living Translation Bible". It has got a pink leatherlike cover with the word "Princess" embazoned on it and silver sides. I wish it was in lilac though...or red, or gold. Best of all, it's written in simple modern day English and i am able to comprehend what i read.
Rubes, pastor are usually charismatic cos' they have the gift to preach in order to reach out to the mass. It's not cos of their charisma that people attend church (it helps to a certain extend), it's love for God and nurturing our relationship with Him. If the pastor is boring and he merely reads from the bible in a monotonous tone, we will still attend church..except that we might feel sleepy lo...and find it hard to absorb what is being preached. Remember the pastor from school days? wah i really have to pinch myself to stay awake...and half the time i was day dreaming...waiting for the next hymnal song hahaha And i think i attend church cos i wana learn more and ensure that i don't backslide this time. It's like i have a father-daughter relationship with God and going to church is to remind myself not to take Him for granted. Cannot only go to Him when i need help...i must do my bit too, know what i mean? :)
I was very upset when i attended the wedding dinner last friday. Jeff's family were sort of like condemning Christians..saying that Christians like to force others to church bla bla bla (by the way, the bride is a Christian) and i was stuck in a table with 9 others talking bad about Christianity. But they were all my elders and i lanlan, kept quiet cos' i do not want to argue in a wedding dinner. Let's just say they have been very unfortunate to have met some persistant Christians who probably tried to stuff it up their throat. But not all Christians are like that. Didn't buddhism taught about humility and being compassionate too...wrong to judge. Buddhism is pure and there should be no killings. So offering a killed chicken and roast meat is incorrect, this is taoism. It is always humans, with their own two cents worth of inputs, who complicates matters.
Rubes, you are right. Perhaps Christianity is the most "outspoken" of all the religions, therefore, the most hyped about.
Sneaked away for awhile during lunch to read the Bible under some "dunno what trees" on an uncomfortable bench. And it was hot cos the sun was shining brightly above me. And i pray for the weather not to be this hot. Was actually just testing water with my kinda bo liao request and then it became windy and cooling and clouds covering the sun. I was shocked! I felt bad for testing water...
Anyway, this sprang up in my head.
"My child, I will never forsake you."
Then after i am done with Matthew (ok half of Matthew), i flip to Psalms randomly and saw this.
Psalm 138:8
The Lord will work out His plans for my life -
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don't abandon me, for you made me.
Wah i love my new "New Living Translation Bible". It has got a pink leatherlike cover with the word "Princess" embazoned on it and silver sides. I wish it was in lilac though...or red, or gold. Best of all, it's written in simple modern day English and i am able to comprehend what i read.
Rubes, pastor are usually charismatic cos' they have the gift to preach in order to reach out to the mass. It's not cos of their charisma that people attend church (it helps to a certain extend), it's love for God and nurturing our relationship with Him. If the pastor is boring and he merely reads from the bible in a monotonous tone, we will still attend church..except that we might feel sleepy lo...and find it hard to absorb what is being preached. Remember the pastor from school days? wah i really have to pinch myself to stay awake...and half the time i was day dreaming...waiting for the next hymnal song hahaha And i think i attend church cos i wana learn more and ensure that i don't backslide this time. It's like i have a father-daughter relationship with God and going to church is to remind myself not to take Him for granted. Cannot only go to Him when i need help...i must do my bit too, know what i mean? :)
I was very upset when i attended the wedding dinner last friday. Jeff's family were sort of like condemning Christians..saying that Christians like to force others to church bla bla bla (by the way, the bride is a Christian) and i was stuck in a table with 9 others talking bad about Christianity. But they were all my elders and i lanlan, kept quiet cos' i do not want to argue in a wedding dinner. Let's just say they have been very unfortunate to have met some persistant Christians who probably tried to stuff it up their throat. But not all Christians are like that. Didn't buddhism taught about humility and being compassionate too...wrong to judge. Buddhism is pure and there should be no killings. So offering a killed chicken and roast meat is incorrect, this is taoism. It is always humans, with their own two cents worth of inputs, who complicates matters.
Rubes, you are right. Perhaps Christianity is the most "outspoken" of all the religions, therefore, the most hyped about.
Monday, October 22, 2007
22 October, 2007 - Duh day
Went to work feeling spriteful and happy today but after taking the medicine, i felt drowsy and somehow my brain cannot seem to function properly. After lunch with Sean at the canteen downstairs, lethargy set in ahhhhhhh
Heard a saddening piece of news. He has decided to resign...after weeks of struggling with all the emails, countless reports, meetings, absence from lunch etc etc etc...Am touched that he shared it with me as a secret before he tender but i cannot helped being affected...and very sad. This reminds me of the months where people were like mass leaving...and i was also upset. I hope he changes his mind...i really wish i am not so emotional.
Dar picked me after work and we have dinner at Simei :) bought cumcumber and cherry tomatoes to complete the whole set of lettuce and sauce i bought over the weekends so that i can make salad for Edwin, Sean and Sarah. And a mango cheesecake from Starbucks for Andrew tomorrow. A little cake for a birthday boy.
Tomorow will and shall be a happier, better day.
Heard a saddening piece of news. He has decided to resign...after weeks of struggling with all the emails, countless reports, meetings, absence from lunch etc etc etc...Am touched that he shared it with me as a secret before he tender but i cannot helped being affected...and very sad. This reminds me of the months where people were like mass leaving...and i was also upset. I hope he changes his mind...i really wish i am not so emotional.
Dar picked me after work and we have dinner at Simei :) bought cumcumber and cherry tomatoes to complete the whole set of lettuce and sauce i bought over the weekends so that i can make salad for Edwin, Sean and Sarah. And a mango cheesecake from Starbucks for Andrew tomorrow. A little cake for a birthday boy.
Tomorow will and shall be a happier, better day.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
21 October, 2007 - More Retail Therapy with beloved bak bak sista
Met up with Rubes at Tampnes this morning to go church :) Nope, she has not converted to become a Christian...we were on our way to CCSS-community work from church. Orientation starts at 10.15am to 11.15am, after that it's service time. Very happy to have her sit next to me. Anyway now we are both officially on the "help the elderly" group of volunteers starting next Saturday. For a start, we have to help shift furnitures and stuff from Macpherson to church. I am happy, finally starting somewhere to serve. Thank God for giving me this chance.
Went to Benefit counter and bought cosmetics again. We both got the "some kind-a gorgeous" fake it foundation. This is damn good lo, my face looked almost flawless after one application. Rubes finally got the lip scrub this time and we both convinced another customer from Beijing buy this fake it foundation and "dr feel good" face balm hahaha SHIOK sia! I love cosmetics...i am a cosmetics junkie *_* if i were any younger, i would have tried being a cosmetics counter girl. Selling the correct shades of powder, eye shadow, blusher etc to ladies. 没有丑的女人，只有懒的女人 :) the power of cosmetics, like cosmetics surgery, both enhance looks.
After much shopping and trotting, we headed to Chinatown for foot massage. This time, it hurts so much that when she touched my toes, i pulled my feet back on reflex...but at the end of the session, it almost felt that i am floating instead of walking keke
I really, really love being a woman :) ya Rubes? heehee
Dar picked up from Chinatown and send Rubes home. Headed home for mum's home cooked food :) love mum's cooking.
Went to Benefit counter and bought cosmetics again. We both got the "some kind-a gorgeous" fake it foundation. This is damn good lo, my face looked almost flawless after one application. Rubes finally got the lip scrub this time and we both convinced another customer from Beijing buy this fake it foundation and "dr feel good" face balm hahaha SHIOK sia! I love cosmetics...i am a cosmetics junkie *_* if i were any younger, i would have tried being a cosmetics counter girl. Selling the correct shades of powder, eye shadow, blusher etc to ladies. 没有丑的女人，只有懒的女人 :) the power of cosmetics, like cosmetics surgery, both enhance looks.
After much shopping and trotting, we headed to Chinatown for foot massage. This time, it hurts so much that when she touched my toes, i pulled my feet back on reflex...but at the end of the session, it almost felt that i am floating instead of walking keke
I really, really love being a woman :) ya Rubes? heehee
Dar picked up from Chinatown and send Rubes home. Headed home for mum's home cooked food :) love mum's cooking.
19 October, 2007 - Zhong Ji Mi Ma
We had lunch at Laguna Park to pre-celebrate Andrew's birthday this afternoon. We occupied 2 tables and ordered so much food that we cannot finish. After pushing the chicken around, we played zhong ji mi ma...the loser have to eat the chicken...and for the first round, Sean lost...and then damn, i was the loser the second round and had to finish the plate of chicken!! Then came the almond jelly, we combined both tables to play this game to see who have to finish the whole bowl...really don't understand how come...so many people playing this time and i still LOST!!! And congratulations to myself, i had to stuff the whole bowl of almond jelly into my already very full stomach :( wah this game suck..or rather i suck at at this game...or i am simply unlucky today tsk tsk
Dennis is getting married this evening, he has grown up...which means i am getting old haiz anyway i wore jeans to his wedding cos' i just don't feel like wearing a dress today..(which i very much regret cos' i felt so underdressed)
Again...i left the office at 6pm today. Actually i wanted to freak out looking at the unfinished emails but i had to go...really craved for some foot massage before attending the wedding dinner at Furama hotel. My whole body is aching especially the rib cage area...must have been coughing so hard, almost could not get out of bed this morning. It hurts so much i had to pop 2 pain killer pills, Arcoxia, just to get myself to work. So strong, so tempting, i think i am addicted to pain killers...morphine addict hahaha
Dennis is getting married this evening, he has grown up...which means i am getting old haiz anyway i wore jeans to his wedding cos' i just don't feel like wearing a dress today..(which i very much regret cos' i felt so underdressed)
Again...i left the office at 6pm today. Actually i wanted to freak out looking at the unfinished emails but i had to go...really craved for some foot massage before attending the wedding dinner at Furama hotel. My whole body is aching especially the rib cage area...must have been coughing so hard, almost could not get out of bed this morning. It hurts so much i had to pop 2 pain killer pills, Arcoxia, just to get myself to work. So strong, so tempting, i think i am addicted to pain killers...morphine addict hahaha
18 October, 2007 - Letter to the exiles
Happy day today, cos' my colleague has shared with me on a very good brassiere brand hahaha very good support for busty gals. I always thought her bosoms look so round and full and i like looking at her womanly figure...nothing skinny but very curvy. Too bak bak maybe...but cos' of he way she juts her twin peaks forward and shoulders back, i just like looking at her kekeke (i am straight, very straight) Anyway, to buy pretty brassiere in Singapore for busty gals is a hassle and a challenge. It's either in ugly colours and bad designs or no stock indefinitely...saved for Marks & Spencer, almost all the brands here seem to cater to our not so well endowed sistas...so really have to check out that brand this weekend hahaha
Met up with Daryl for dinner at Ding Tai Feng this evening. And to prove that i will and shall and can be on time, i left the office at 6pm sharp hahaha although looking at all the undone emails make me feel slightly, actually very, off-balanced, i just didn't want to be late and get laughed at hmmm anyway, had wanted to go get an eye liner from MAC from Robinsons just before our appointment but damn...it's out of stock!! arrrggghhhh what am i going to do without it. BUT, the 小笼包 more than made up for the eye liner hohoho wah after all the food, i felt fat but happy.
Had coffee at starbucks and chatted, always good and therapeutic to have some fellowship with my spiritual mentor :) Today, i learnt that i have got to have some goals and vision for myself...be it in my spiritual path, my family, marriage andmy career...or life in general. I am not an ambitious girl...all i want is happiness and peace in every sense. Anyway, learnt a few strategy tricks and build-relationship-with-suppliers tips from Daryl today as well.
This is the verse that made me left Achieva to join here. I took the plunge solely based on this verse...at a time when i was trying to find my way back from backsliding...doing things my own way...fumbling and tumbling...
Jeremiah 29: 11-14
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me , and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,"declares the Lord,"and will bring you back from captivity.
Being here brought me closer to God. At least i am attending church faithfully without fail every weekend and i am going to join a cell in my new church. A church that has always allowed me to feel His presence. And i am reminded of the power of prayers...since school time, and about renewing my relationship and my walk with God.
This evening, Daryl said where i am now may be like an exile land. Jeremiah 29 is about a letter to the exiles. Went home and re-read the chapter to find some meaning and sense..
Jeremiah 29: 6-7
".......Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."
I wondered if that means i should pray for more business and less issues in order to generate more incentives. And in the process, continue praying for those in my 100k blessings booklet or maybe for whoever in need so that His name is glorified. Seek advice.
Excepts from Answers to Life's difficult Questions.
How can I live above average?
1) Get a great ambition, a glimpse of what God wants to do in your life
2) Get a growing faith in God, a faith that enables you to expect the impossible
3) Establish a genuine prayer life, one that depends on God as you work toward your dream.
Ambition is neither good nor bad; it's just a basic drive in life. Many people today just drift through life. They have no goals, no master plan, no overall purpose, and no ambition. As a result, they never accomplish much. They simply exist. The first priciple of living above average is that you need a great ambition. You need a dream. If you don't have a dream, you are drifting. When you stop dreaming, you start dying. When you stop setting goals, you stop growing. You've got to have something that you're pushing toward, a goal of excellence. As long as your horizon is expanding, you'll be an emotionally healthy human being. God made you for growth; He wants you to grow and stretch and develop. God has a purpose in your life, and your key to success is to discover that purpose and cooperate with it. God has never intended for you to go through life with a halfhearted attitude,wondering what you are doing and where you're going. God wants you to have a great ambition. A life with no challenges and no goals can be summed up with one word: boredom.
Well, i have 2 dreams but i am not sure if that counts as great ambitions. But at least i have dreams and maybe i should pray and ask Him for help :)
Met up with Daryl for dinner at Ding Tai Feng this evening. And to prove that i will and shall and can be on time, i left the office at 6pm sharp hahaha although looking at all the undone emails make me feel slightly, actually very, off-balanced, i just didn't want to be late and get laughed at hmmm anyway, had wanted to go get an eye liner from MAC from Robinsons just before our appointment but damn...it's out of stock!! arrrggghhhh what am i going to do without it. BUT, the 小笼包 more than made up for the eye liner hohoho wah after all the food, i felt fat but happy.
Had coffee at starbucks and chatted, always good and therapeutic to have some fellowship with my spiritual mentor :) Today, i learnt that i have got to have some goals and vision for myself...be it in my spiritual path, my family, marriage andmy career...or life in general. I am not an ambitious girl...all i want is happiness and peace in every sense. Anyway, learnt a few strategy tricks and build-relationship-with-suppliers tips from Daryl today as well.
This is the verse that made me left Achieva to join here. I took the plunge solely based on this verse...at a time when i was trying to find my way back from backsliding...doing things my own way...fumbling and tumbling...
Jeremiah 29: 11-14
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me , and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,"declares the Lord,"and will bring you back from captivity.
Being here brought me closer to God. At least i am attending church faithfully without fail every weekend and i am going to join a cell in my new church. A church that has always allowed me to feel His presence. And i am reminded of the power of prayers...since school time, and about renewing my relationship and my walk with God.
This evening, Daryl said where i am now may be like an exile land. Jeremiah 29 is about a letter to the exiles. Went home and re-read the chapter to find some meaning and sense..
Jeremiah 29: 6-7
".......Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."
I wondered if that means i should pray for more business and less issues in order to generate more incentives. And in the process, continue praying for those in my 100k blessings booklet or maybe for whoever in need so that His name is glorified. Seek advice.
Excepts from Answers to Life's difficult Questions.
How can I live above average?
1) Get a great ambition, a glimpse of what God wants to do in your life
2) Get a growing faith in God, a faith that enables you to expect the impossible
3) Establish a genuine prayer life, one that depends on God as you work toward your dream.
Ambition is neither good nor bad; it's just a basic drive in life. Many people today just drift through life. They have no goals, no master plan, no overall purpose, and no ambition. As a result, they never accomplish much. They simply exist. The first priciple of living above average is that you need a great ambition. You need a dream. If you don't have a dream, you are drifting. When you stop dreaming, you start dying. When you stop setting goals, you stop growing. You've got to have something that you're pushing toward, a goal of excellence. As long as your horizon is expanding, you'll be an emotionally healthy human being. God made you for growth; He wants you to grow and stretch and develop. God has a purpose in your life, and your key to success is to discover that purpose and cooperate with it. God has never intended for you to go through life with a halfhearted attitude,wondering what you are doing and where you're going. God wants you to have a great ambition. A life with no challenges and no goals can be summed up with one word: boredom.
Well, i have 2 dreams but i am not sure if that counts as great ambitions. But at least i have dreams and maybe i should pray and ask Him for help :)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
17 October, 2007 - Pout Plumbing Potion
I discovered another magical product for looks enhancement haha THE close to PERFECT POUT PLUMBING POTION from Sugar Baby. I like applying layers of it on my lips, makes them glister and so dewy looking...i almost wana kiss my own lips just looking at myself in the mirror hahaha so delicious I wonder if it's only in my mind..but my lips do look pouty kekeke maybe it's the peppermint ingredient YES I AM SHALLOW & VAIN hahaha girls' thing
Gals, can get it from Sasa or Bugis Seiyu and kiss your way to yummy POUTY lips *winkz*
Was in a little impromptu discussion with Edwin this morning and i noticed how he analyse data by breaking down into smaller errrm portions? :) smart, i like working as a team with Edwin, very detail orientated and he knows exactly where, how and who to look at/for when problems arised. Really feel safer to put him on copy for those emails that might just become an issue. Anyway, i feel he is very genuine..no mask, except that he looks stern, so i feel comfortable and at ease with him..can be myself...so my wait was not in vain hahaha Thank God for everything :)
If i am a male kitty, i have to be THIS kitty.
Gals, can get it from Sasa or Bugis Seiyu and kiss your way to yummy POUTY lips *winkz*
Was in a little impromptu discussion with Edwin this morning and i noticed how he analyse data by breaking down into smaller errrm portions? :) smart, i like working as a team with Edwin, very detail orientated and he knows exactly where, how and who to look at/for when problems arised. Really feel safer to put him on copy for those emails that might just become an issue. Anyway, i feel he is very genuine..no mask, except that he looks stern, so i feel comfortable and at ease with him..can be myself...so my wait was not in vain hahaha Thank God for everything :)
If i am a male kitty, i have to be THIS kitty.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
16 October, 2007 - I am not a perfect person
Don't know what made me call up the community service from church and ask them about the missing email from them. Supposed to go for the personality screening this Saturday but til now, i hadn't receive any details...and found out that the date has been changed. As if it's not bad enuff, my particulars were lost! "How come like that??" was what i wanted to say over the phone...anyway, now i am safely in the volunteer list again and i made sure he repeated my number and email before i hang up.
Had lunch at Jump Start alone today, need to read the bible and find some answers and also needed a little get-away-from-it-all cos' feeling sulky about my voice..just don't feel like being part of the crowd making small talks. I enjoyed my solitary lunch retreat having sandwich, salad and tea. The perfect make-do side-walk cafe around this area...the salad sucks though. Pray, read and write.
The sign that i should do volunteer work?? ^_^
Job 29: 12-16
"Because i rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteuosnes as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."
I hope it will be a stint in Cambodia one day...when i am spiritually ready...to fight against child prostitition. F**k that trade! Daryl, i know i am not ready, i will drop my plans for this December.
Went to the wake of Nat Chaeng's mum this evening. The pastor said something that made my heart stir...
No one is perfect, if people has to be perfect in order to go to heaven, then probably both you and I can't go. So God has 2 plans for entry to heaven.
Plan A: Be a perfect person, live the prefect life, do the perfect things. (But can you and I do this? NO) SO GOD HAS PLAN B :)
Plan B: Believe in Him, for I am the truth, I am the way... etc (i cannot remind the verse :l )
Do not let fear trapped you, bring everything to the Lord. (This is really an important sentence today for i have fear in my heart this morning...fear of communicating honestly about my thoughts with someone close...)
Some messages that i want to remember:-
lim says:
life is more than our situation...we always focus on our situation and restrict ourselves...
lim says:
when your mindset is transform little by little...few YEARS LATER..U WILL ABLE TO SEE GREAT DIFFERENT
Idiosyncratic Maine says:
i just hope to be able to do volunteering work soon
lim says:
ANYWAY JUST STAY FOCUS AND THAT IS YOUR MAIN JOB...DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH ON OTHERS AS GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT
lim says:
focus on God...doing is later..focus on God ...focus on God....this is all.
lim says:
make sure u do it
I also have to pray for my PM for his business to grow, less issues, less stress, more free time and more regional exposure for himself..so pray and pray and pray ya. Good relationship with Him but i still want to club sometimes *hohoho dun puke blood
Life is as such...we tend to take lot of things for granted. We only choose to see what we lack and who we are not...i am guilty of that when i am being agitated, emotional and not logical. So i have to make sure my logical side stays with me often heh heh once i get emotional, i get crappy and i think rubbish and act on impulse...then i need someone to keep me grounded and talk sense into me again...perhaps i need to learn not to show my emotions on my face..hide my sad, angry, upset, bothered or fed up expressions. So people can't tell hahahahaha so hard
For now, life is beautiful and i am a very blessed gal and i love my family and friends.
Had lunch at Jump Start alone today, need to read the bible and find some answers and also needed a little get-away-from-it-all cos' feeling sulky about my voice..just don't feel like being part of the crowd making small talks. I enjoyed my solitary lunch retreat having sandwich, salad and tea. The perfect make-do side-walk cafe around this area...the salad sucks though. Pray, read and write.
The sign that i should do volunteer work?? ^_^
Job 29: 12-16
"Because i rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteuosnes as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."
I hope it will be a stint in Cambodia one day...when i am spiritually ready...to fight against child prostitition. F**k that trade! Daryl, i know i am not ready, i will drop my plans for this December.
Went to the wake of Nat Chaeng's mum this evening. The pastor said something that made my heart stir...
No one is perfect, if people has to be perfect in order to go to heaven, then probably both you and I can't go. So God has 2 plans for entry to heaven.
Plan A: Be a perfect person, live the prefect life, do the perfect things. (But can you and I do this? NO) SO GOD HAS PLAN B :)
Plan B: Believe in Him, for I am the truth, I am the way... etc (i cannot remind the verse :l )
Do not let fear trapped you, bring everything to the Lord. (This is really an important sentence today for i have fear in my heart this morning...fear of communicating honestly about my thoughts with someone close...)
Some messages that i want to remember:-
lim says:
life is more than our situation...we always focus on our situation and restrict ourselves...
lim says:
when your mindset is transform little by little...few YEARS LATER..U WILL ABLE TO SEE GREAT DIFFERENT
Idiosyncratic Maine says:
i just hope to be able to do volunteering work soon
lim says:
ANYWAY JUST STAY FOCUS AND THAT IS YOUR MAIN JOB...DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH ON OTHERS AS GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT
lim says:
focus on God...doing is later..focus on God ...focus on God....this is all.
lim says:
make sure u do it
I also have to pray for my PM for his business to grow, less issues, less stress, more free time and more regional exposure for himself..so pray and pray and pray ya. Good relationship with Him but i still want to club sometimes *hohoho dun puke blood
Life is as such...we tend to take lot of things for granted. We only choose to see what we lack and who we are not...i am guilty of that when i am being agitated, emotional and not logical. So i have to make sure my logical side stays with me often heh heh once i get emotional, i get crappy and i think rubbish and act on impulse...then i need someone to keep me grounded and talk sense into me again...perhaps i need to learn not to show my emotions on my face..hide my sad, angry, upset, bothered or fed up expressions. So people can't tell hahahahaha so hard
For now, life is beautiful and i am a very blessed gal and i love my family and friends.
Monday, October 15, 2007
14 October, 2007 - :( Last day in Bedok .......web of deception
End of my stay in Bedok, had to lug all my stuff back home and now the whole house is in one big mess. Everything feels so clustered, so much so that i feel like running away...i wish i can continue to stay in Bedok for another week...life was so happy. I like walking to 7-11 with Jervis to get tidbits and biscuits. (can't drive cos' Jervis insists on doing our part on global awareness in saving the earth) Chatting with Jervis about his career as a lawyer in about 2 to 3 years time and about life in general over waffles and french songs. Well, back to reality now, will have to spend a weekend packing the whole house and setting it straight again. Happiness always seem so shortlived...
Woke up at 10am this morning...Jfk dropped mum off at her church and we had breakfast at Macdonald in Bedok. Been a long time since i managed to wake up and have breakfast at Macdonald haha anyway i was not late for church today :) bless him
Pastor talked about deception today.
Deception: to cause one to believe what is false
: to lead in error
: to be mislead by a false appearance or statement
Thought: argument/reasoning
: stronghold of deception (web of deception)
How is deception manifested?
1) By sowing corrupted thoughts/doubtful thoughts
2) By sowing thoughts of discord
3) By thinking we are Masters of our own world
4) By erroneous judgement/appearance
Example, you woke up one morning, look into the mirror and think to yourself,"I am ugly." (A thought is planted into your head leading you into deception that you are ugly) So, you start to dress shabbily, not take care of yourself and soon, you will indeed be unsightly.
bad thought -> deception -> negative action
Pastor said,"Rise up and war! Make deceptions go away. When there is truth, there cannot be lies. Deception has no right and no room in our life."
Then he asked whoever in need of prayer over such struggles to come to the altar. And i frozed where i stood. I wanted to go up but i just seemed to have gotten stucked. Then i started to feel lousy about myself again...just like that night at Daryl's church. What's the problem with me!!! Today's topic seem to be directed at me, well and maybe a few others, but i failed to do what i was supposed to do again. (deception??)
I started to wonder if all my struggles occur because i am having a spiritual warfare. All the grey areas in my mind are worldly mindset and i am thinking it's ok because i do not wish to be so strict to myself. Perhaps too much flexibilities equals to a lack of discipline to correct the incorrect.
Anyway, i went home feeling horrible and sulky. Jervis and Jervoise didn't want to go out..Jervis and mum went to the new place, dad is playing mahjong with auntie Eugenia and uncle Charlie. Me, i took a lift from mum and Jervis to Kembangan and went shopping at Bugis. Bought a top that i can wear to work tomorrow and lip gloss. Walked into Jean Yip, did a facial (lucky they have an available time slot for walk-in customers, that's me) and went Ros n Ron to groom my brows. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of being able to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, brows grooming, testing on cosmetics, perming eyelashes, massages, treated with chivalry from men etc etc ;)
By the end of the facial, i felt good already hahaha will think about everything when i am feeling better and logical.
Met up with Duncan and Vivian for dinner at Holland village...but i really have not much of an appetite. When will the cough go away???????
I shall move back to Bedok sometime this week...little indulgence in happiness...
Woke up at 10am this morning...Jfk dropped mum off at her church and we had breakfast at Macdonald in Bedok. Been a long time since i managed to wake up and have breakfast at Macdonald haha anyway i was not late for church today :) bless him
Pastor talked about deception today.
Deception: to cause one to believe what is false
: to lead in error
: to be mislead by a false appearance or statement
Thought: argument/reasoning
: stronghold of deception (web of deception)
How is deception manifested?
1) By sowing corrupted thoughts/doubtful thoughts
2) By sowing thoughts of discord
3) By thinking we are Masters of our own world
4) By erroneous judgement/appearance
Example, you woke up one morning, look into the mirror and think to yourself,"I am ugly." (A thought is planted into your head leading you into deception that you are ugly) So, you start to dress shabbily, not take care of yourself and soon, you will indeed be unsightly.
bad thought -> deception -> negative action
Pastor said,"Rise up and war! Make deceptions go away. When there is truth, there cannot be lies. Deception has no right and no room in our life."
Then he asked whoever in need of prayer over such struggles to come to the altar. And i frozed where i stood. I wanted to go up but i just seemed to have gotten stucked. Then i started to feel lousy about myself again...just like that night at Daryl's church. What's the problem with me!!! Today's topic seem to be directed at me, well and maybe a few others, but i failed to do what i was supposed to do again. (deception??)
I started to wonder if all my struggles occur because i am having a spiritual warfare. All the grey areas in my mind are worldly mindset and i am thinking it's ok because i do not wish to be so strict to myself. Perhaps too much flexibilities equals to a lack of discipline to correct the incorrect.
Anyway, i went home feeling horrible and sulky. Jervis and Jervoise didn't want to go out..Jervis and mum went to the new place, dad is playing mahjong with auntie Eugenia and uncle Charlie. Me, i took a lift from mum and Jervis to Kembangan and went shopping at Bugis. Bought a top that i can wear to work tomorrow and lip gloss. Walked into Jean Yip, did a facial (lucky they have an available time slot for walk-in customers, that's me) and went Ros n Ron to groom my brows. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of being able to pamper myself with facials, manicures, pedicures, brows grooming, testing on cosmetics, perming eyelashes, massages, treated with chivalry from men etc etc ;)
By the end of the facial, i felt good already hahaha will think about everything when i am feeling better and logical.
Met up with Duncan and Vivian for dinner at Holland village...but i really have not much of an appetite. When will the cough go away???????
I shall move back to Bedok sometime this week...little indulgence in happiness...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
13 October, 2007 - Sick of being sick
Attended a product training given by Edwin and Sarah yesterday afternoon..thought it was for all sales & marketing staff but it was actually sort of an introduction to all the new staff. Edwin is really a detail orientated guy..i think he would make a good teacher haha anyway stayed back to clear emails after that and hurray, cleared all and i felt relieved. Chatted with him for awhile...i think he belongs to the 30% under Maine's classification...such a coincidence and such unlikeliness...my first impression of both Jeremy and Edwin were bad...life is just so strange and unexpected sometimes...
Was supposed to go Butter Factory with Jervoise last nite to celebrate Yvonne'e birthsay but i "dua" him cos i felt unwell heehee went to Still road to buy tidbits with Jervis and Jeffrey instead :) Jervis drove and he is abit slow haiz
Woke up at almost 2pm today...feeling lethargic still...maybe the cough made me tired. Been almost 3 weeks and i cannot understand why won't it go away. I have already cut down on all the sinful fried food and dilligently drank all the cough syrup and nothing helps :(
Had to go Yishun to help move some furniture and it's so dusty that i felt giddy. Just feel so tired to be at home sitting around doing nothing...gives me a headache. Jeff, Marvin, Jasmin and me went to Ang Mo Kio hub for dinner at Subway, the sandwiches are really darn nice and healthy. Ang Mo Kio hub is so different from how it was a few years ago, there is a shopping mall with little shops selling really cool stuff. Singapore is really a shopping paradise. Jasmin skip around the shops with me and this sales lady thought she is my daughter! Is this a sign to have a kid?? Heck the idea, i hope not. Not ready to have a kid now..maybe not ever..should not cave in to peer pressure. I wonder if being afraid of the pain from childbirth is an excuse. I told Daryl that the real reason is if the world is ending soon, i should not have a child and make him/her suffer. Daryl said having a child is a blessing from God and i was wrong to think this way..but i cannot help it. Was kinda shocked that Edwin had this thought too...cos i thought i was the only crapo with this insane idea.
October...November...December...just last October, i was living life on the "wild" side...no struggles, no guilty feelings...just lotsa partying and drinking.
When will i be well again??? I hate the cough and i really wana be at some club DANCING and drinking!!! Will have some restraints now...for obvious reasons.. Funny, i actually miss Anna now..we used to joke that if she was a man, we would have an intense relationship...cos she is such an observant and slightly psychic gal. Come to think of it, we must have both "flirted" by dancing s******y to each other. (I am very, very "straight" :p )
Was supposed to go Butter Factory with Jervoise last nite to celebrate Yvonne'e birthsay but i "dua" him cos i felt unwell heehee went to Still road to buy tidbits with Jervis and Jeffrey instead :) Jervis drove and he is abit slow haiz
Woke up at almost 2pm today...feeling lethargic still...maybe the cough made me tired. Been almost 3 weeks and i cannot understand why won't it go away. I have already cut down on all the sinful fried food and dilligently drank all the cough syrup and nothing helps :(
Had to go Yishun to help move some furniture and it's so dusty that i felt giddy. Just feel so tired to be at home sitting around doing nothing...gives me a headache. Jeff, Marvin, Jasmin and me went to Ang Mo Kio hub for dinner at Subway, the sandwiches are really darn nice and healthy. Ang Mo Kio hub is so different from how it was a few years ago, there is a shopping mall with little shops selling really cool stuff. Singapore is really a shopping paradise. Jasmin skip around the shops with me and this sales lady thought she is my daughter! Is this a sign to have a kid?? Heck the idea, i hope not. Not ready to have a kid now..maybe not ever..should not cave in to peer pressure. I wonder if being afraid of the pain from childbirth is an excuse. I told Daryl that the real reason is if the world is ending soon, i should not have a child and make him/her suffer. Daryl said having a child is a blessing from God and i was wrong to think this way..but i cannot help it. Was kinda shocked that Edwin had this thought too...cos i thought i was the only crapo with this insane idea.
October...November...December...just last October, i was living life on the "wild" side...no struggles, no guilty feelings...just lotsa partying and drinking.
When will i be well again??? I hate the cough and i really wana be at some club DANCING and drinking!!! Will have some restraints now...for obvious reasons.. Funny, i actually miss Anna now..we used to joke that if she was a man, we would have an intense relationship...cos she is such an observant and slightly psychic gal. Come to think of it, we must have both "flirted" by dancing s******y to each other. (I am very, very "straight" :p )
Thursday, October 11, 2007
11 October, 2007 - Facebook??
I miss clubbing..i really do...and it's not holding the mug of beer in my hand that i miss, i miss being on the dance floor making love to the music...dancing to my own beat, lost in my own world...i supposed as long as i don't dink so much and get drunk, i should be fine :)
Rubs, we will go ok? When we have got all your cosmetics ready, we will go enjoy ourselves...maybe we can go with my new found friend, she can really drink and she can give us discount at Sole Lovers haha...my pedicure friend ;)
For some strange reason, i felt like disappearing from everyone today..i wanted to hide away from all...i wish i was at the seaside having coffee and staring at the sky. Maybe it's my eye..i think it's abit swollen.
Facebook...i first saw this word in my hotmail email sent to me by a friend in Hong Kong inviting me to join her facebook. I thought it was some sort of virus email and i deleted it. Then a few days later, i got an invitation from another friend to join facebook, thinking "wah damn! must be some damn powerful virus going around" and deleted the email as well...then more deleting done and then i heard about FACEBOOK, something similar to friendster. To think i have been deleting all my friends invitation!! And i got myself an account cos Daryl said he has one and asked if i have an account too!!! Wah how can i not be in facebook when Daryl, someone who just discovered the beauty of msn this year, has an account! And err (sorry Daryl) he is older than me heh heh Ego thing... okok worldly mindset :P
Drove to Siglap with Jervis for cheesecakes BUT it's sold out damn! We settled for waffles at Gelare instead...i really love staying in Bedok with my family, i am so glad to have Jervis and Jervoise, really love the both of them :) tho' they made me pour water, fetch their stuff for them around the house, wash the dishes...(hmmm) but i don't really mind, i am happy just having them around.
Somebody find me!!! I do not want to be in hibernation mode for long...
Rubs, we will go ok? When we have got all your cosmetics ready, we will go enjoy ourselves...maybe we can go with my new found friend, she can really drink and she can give us discount at Sole Lovers haha...my pedicure friend ;)
For some strange reason, i felt like disappearing from everyone today..i wanted to hide away from all...i wish i was at the seaside having coffee and staring at the sky. Maybe it's my eye..i think it's abit swollen.
Facebook...i first saw this word in my hotmail email sent to me by a friend in Hong Kong inviting me to join her facebook. I thought it was some sort of virus email and i deleted it. Then a few days later, i got an invitation from another friend to join facebook, thinking "wah damn! must be some damn powerful virus going around" and deleted the email as well...then more deleting done and then i heard about FACEBOOK, something similar to friendster. To think i have been deleting all my friends invitation!! And i got myself an account cos Daryl said he has one and asked if i have an account too!!! Wah how can i not be in facebook when Daryl, someone who just discovered the beauty of msn this year, has an account! And err (sorry Daryl) he is older than me heh heh Ego thing... okok worldly mindset :P
Drove to Siglap with Jervis for cheesecakes BUT it's sold out damn! We settled for waffles at Gelare instead...i really love staying in Bedok with my family, i am so glad to have Jervis and Jervoise, really love the both of them :) tho' they made me pour water, fetch their stuff for them around the house, wash the dishes...(hmmm) but i don't really mind, i am happy just having them around.
Somebody find me!!! I do not want to be in hibernation mode for long...
10 October, 2007 - Obedience
The message on my calender today is on obedience...if that's God's way of talking to me, i wonder what is it that i have not been obeying... am i still holding onto a worldly mindset like what Daryl said...what is it that i have done or have not done? If struggle is good cos it's a sign of a breakthrough, then i am really struggling. Struggle is cos i am now aware of God's words and am comparing it against human mindset. I am no nun and i am certainly not perfect...but i am trying to read as much bible as possible and trying even harder to be obedient. Maybe i should really just disappear and hibernate for awhile...maybe hide away in Cambodia and get away from it all...maybe searching for a "self" needs to be done in solitude.
And i really wonder when will the cough goes away..i don't like the way i sound now cos i sound like an ah gua...and i am almost close to like having an asthma attack drats :(
What would i do to change my mindset willingly? Please don't start let me have weird ideas again...
Matthew 7:21
Not everyone who says to me,"Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who does the will of of my Father who is in heaven..
And i really wonder when will the cough goes away..i don't like the way i sound now cos i sound like an ah gua...and i am almost close to like having an asthma attack drats :(
What would i do to change my mindset willingly? Please don't start let me have weird ideas again...
Matthew 7:21
Not everyone who says to me,"Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who does the will of of my Father who is in heaven..
Sunday, October 7, 2007
7 October, 2007 - Sex & the City Nite Out
The bak bak sista made a pact last year during Rub's birthday celebration at Pan Pacific hotel...that we will have a Sex & the City theme outing sometime soon...and the pact finally materialised this Saturday on Oct 6! We drew lots to decide which character we were to take on...Yan is classically no nonsense Miranda, Rub is aptly the ever-sweet Charlotte and me the mismatch as the very sexual Samantha. We were supposed to do this last year and then postponed to early this year and wah..only happened exactly one year after Rub's birthday...sigh..time really flies
Anyway i painted my nails red and made my eyes as smoky looking as possible...wore the tightest dress in red heels and still cannot pull off the "Samantha" look haiz Yan looked just like how Miranda should look in her beige dress shift dress and light make-up. Rub look, well, just like Charlotte and herself...sweet and complete with pearls :) I am just so "Carrie"...
Dinner at La something, an italian restaurant in Dempsey Hill. We ordered a huge pizza, bread basket and a bottle of white. Everything was correct, the mood, the ambience, the food but the service. Damn, we paid good money for bad service. The waitress spilled water over the table and on my phone, no apologies from her and no attempts to clean up the mess.
Yan: Do you think there will be discounts for any credit cards?
Rubs: Errm can ask.
Waitress: *shouting across tables* there is no discount for any cards
Fwah damn rude lo, anyway, we made a compliant on her to the manager hahaha so bad of us but she really ought to learn about manners.
Went to dragonfly and watch William Scorpion, have beer, vodka lime, fries, wedges and water. And by 1+, we felt sleepy. Sleepy only cos i am not feeling well, Yan and Rubs are probably old hahahahaha sorry gals ;)
Thank God for friends :)
Anyway i painted my nails red and made my eyes as smoky looking as possible...wore the tightest dress in red heels and still cannot pull off the "Samantha" look haiz Yan looked just like how Miranda should look in her beige dress shift dress and light make-up. Rub look, well, just like Charlotte and herself...sweet and complete with pearls :) I am just so "Carrie"...
Dinner at La something, an italian restaurant in Dempsey Hill. We ordered a huge pizza, bread basket and a bottle of white. Everything was correct, the mood, the ambience, the food but the service. Damn, we paid good money for bad service. The waitress spilled water over the table and on my phone, no apologies from her and no attempts to clean up the mess.
Yan: Do you think there will be discounts for any credit cards?
Rubs: Errm can ask.
Waitress: *shouting across tables* there is no discount for any cards
Fwah damn rude lo, anyway, we made a compliant on her to the manager hahaha so bad of us but she really ought to learn about manners.
Went to dragonfly and watch William Scorpion, have beer, vodka lime, fries, wedges and water. And by 1+, we felt sleepy. Sleepy only cos i am not feeling well, Yan and Rubs are probably old hahahahaha sorry gals ;)
Thank God for friends :)
Thursday, October 4, 2007
3 October, 2007 - Home to Bedok
I am now sitting on Jervoise's chair typing at his computer :) it's my first day in Bedok and i am so tired already...lugged 1 big suitcase (i think i brough 2 weeks' worth of clothing), many pairs of shoes and a whole lot of toiletries, accessories, hair spray...(kena nagged at by mum for bringing so many pairs of shoes here haha)
I am using his computer instead of my laptop cos i have no idea how to connect to the chanhome wireless network...drats
Dar has to go stay at Punggol to wait for the HDB guys tomorrow morning...
HAPPY TO BE WITH MY FAMILY :)
I am using his computer instead of my laptop cos i have no idea how to connect to the chanhome wireless network...drats
Dar has to go stay at Punggol to wait for the HDB guys tomorrow morning...
HAPPY TO BE WITH MY FAMILY :)
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