Friday, June 22, 2007

21 June, 2007 - Counting my blessings

I think i am slowly and steadily learning how to draw the line clearly and saying no to pushovers..the kinds who push the job to me muahahaha seems like being too courteous and gentle get bullied. So i decided to try it another way..by being damn firm and direct to the 2 sales person who was grumbling and telling me how i should help them to do what they were supposed to do cos they are busy. F**k it man, then i damn free meh?? I blurt out to Miss A "this is your job and i am not going to do it." and to Miss "B" "I dun care how you are going to do it, just get it done cos it's your job. I dun mind hear you grumble but after the grumbling, go get it done cos there is no way i am going to do it for you" Seems nothing amazing but it is amazing coming from me. Funny thing is, Sarah still thinks i need to be louder and fiercer..wah lau..spoil image lei..try..I am pretty lucky here cos i did not encounter any insecure women who tries to control me emotionally..meaning emotional threat. Almost everyone is confident and comfortable with themselves keke Sarah allows me to do things my way and i get enough space to be independant. I am stressed but at least i am happy (at least til now)...just sad about people leaving. And it helps that Sarah is someone very honest and real. Counting my blessings :)

Today, i really dun mind being queer..i think it's ok to have mood swings and feel whatever i wana feel. So it's really ok to be emotional..though part of me is trying to convince myself that i should curb it. My dear fren is rite..it's better to just be then pretending to be damn cold. So I am not going to listen to KH and control my temperaments. Thank you JK/Danny/Kenny hahaha for keeping my balance where it should be. (i really love your company cos you always seem so magically "in the know") Should not have been bothered by this in the first place, temperory forgot...my resolution for this year is just be me, myself and I.

Sometimes, really can't help feeling that there are so many tasks to be done, so many steps to take all for one dream. Sometimes i side track when i feel tired and then restlessness sets in...and then it's a vicious cycle. Heng i am super positive and i am a firm believer of "what goes down will always and eventually goes up". Otherwise i might already be depending on anti-depressant pills.

In retrospect, everything happens for a reason. There is a time and tide for everything to happen..just like what paster said. There is a reason for me to be wherever i might be in life and meet whoever i have to meet, and learn something. Experiences are what make me to be who i am...so i hope i will not be so affected by seeing people leave here and stay on to discover new things..unless there is a new calling. FAITH.......i need faith in Him.

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