23 November, 2007 - Homo Sapiens

Jin How's last day today. I supposed the of there will be more after the year ends. Is the grass always greener on the other side? I supposed most times it's our attitude and the angle of our point of view.

Tonight, at 11.30pm, has got to be the latest that i ever stayed working in the office. I enjoy working with my PM, he works hard and i prefer to work with people who just put in the effort to mean something. It's so quiet and peaceful to work at night. It's nice to work real hard and party as hard...except that i have not been partying. Damn. When there are not many people around at work and there are many empty desks around, there seems to be a connection between you and the workplace. Like you are in an empty office working "out of office" working hours, it almost feels surreal. Then during the day time, you can see the stark difference. Like how day time is reality working world and night time is virtual working world...and you are part of both worlds. I am writing crap.

Sometimes i think all these emails are like ping pong balls..except that you are not playing with one ball but a few balls at a time. So you reply as much emails as possible and that's tantamount to throwing the balls back to the other side of the court. As long as the balls are not sitting in your court, you are safe in the game. Otherwise, the referee comes along and "yellow card" you...that's tantamount to being judged by management, colleagues, suppliers and customers. (I know "yellow card" is for soccer but i have no idea how are ping pong ball games being judged) Sometimes, it's actually quite gratifying to be able to get things done and being useful...i wonder if it's my constant quest for knowledge or simply just OCD. But it's a vicious cycle of getting burnt out and then get all emotional and then the seed of "running away" thought gets planted into your head.

Anyway, that's homo sapiens for us.

Psalm 142:1-7
I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord'd mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn to.
Wherever I go, my enemies have set traps for me, I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O Lord.
I say,"You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry, for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out pf prison so that I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me."

Ecclesiates 9:11
I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skilful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.