31 December, 2007 - Last day of 2007

We get to leave office early at 4pm today..it's the last day of 2007!

This has been a good year because i have learnt alot and gained more friends. Let's see...got back to church, got a new job, made new friends, got a god-son, got a spiritual mentor, shifted house, grandma passed away, filtered out toxic "friends", joined volunteering work, mum's transformation, Jervis's backpacking trip, Jervoise's operation...i get to be myself without conforming or even bother trying to fit in :) life has been good and fulfilling and i thank Him for everything. I know i need more faith and change my ways but i have to give myself a little pat on the shoulder to have held on to the verse with unfaltering faith. Baby step...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart..."

Catherine invited Aising, Amy, Andy, Chinyiang, CP, Edward, Frederick, Isabelle from NXP, Jasmine, Khim Chew, Desmond, Joyce, Leslie and me to her house for potluck..and my Sangria is in the fridge and i am grilling the mushrooms now heehee

Got to her place at 7.30pm..late by half an hour sigh... so much food on the table *yummy* Oh i am so happy that everyone loves the mushrooms and it's the first to be gone heh heh next was the Sangria, gone in awhile too heehee not bad for a first attempt :) (Maybe i am a closet talented chef hmmm) Leslie's mum made glutinuous rice and it's so good that i ate 2 plates... Amy, Aising and me "chop" the chocolate fondue after dinner...i think we ate up most of the strawberries...and Edward grumbled that "aiyah zar bo always eat all the dessert" tsk tsk (i think he jealous cos he is very full liao la)
Then they played Black jet and loser has to finish the food but i "siam" heehee no way am i going to try gorge on so much food. Next was a serious game of Black jet and minimum was 2 bucks...Frederick is the banker and his luck is good :) i think i lost 1o bucks... I am glad to have such nice people as colleagues wooohoo Amen

Next round was to Yan's place. Played Taboo with her friends and this is a very funny game. I love it hahahahaha then count down on TV. Yan must have let the champagne got into her head..she mumbled something about 不舍得2007 and grabbed the air for dunno what man..and i sucker for gimmicks, did the same..in case i missed out on anything hahaha Rubes..as usual, was level headed and sit there looking pretty and shaking her head at Yan heehee

10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1 yeah 2008 and we get a threesome bear hug :D Gary and Jfk went downstairs to lock the car door because egoistic he did not lock the car door. He thought that Yan's car would automatically lock by itself since it came with a built-in sensor to unlock the door when it senses the car key. Too bad the sensor only works one way la dey..it unlocks but does not lock..pride stopped him from giving a call to Yan to ask so obigood lo, got to count down in the car park with Gary. MEN! Chey

Nostalgic about 2007 but life goes on and for now, happy new year everyone. May the year 2008 brings good health, great wealth, happiness, peace and all dreams to come true. Err I wish for world peace muahahaha (Rubes, diplomatic bo?)

30 December, 2007 - Mini Diet Resolution

Went for the early church service today so that we can go swimming at 10.30am. But the water was freaking COLD brrrrrrr i kept sneezing in the water..and i cannot hold my breath :( my breathing technique has gone all haywire tata

I wanna make a tiny little diet resolution for 2008...need more excercises, less potatoe chips and drink more water. Excercises = renewed classes in belly dancing, hitting the gym, playing badminton and learning golf. And of cos hitting on butter factory now and then.. last but not least, the determination to get off bed to excercise.

Made Sangria with Jervis for Catherine's potluck party tomorrow..hope they like it cos' this is my first attempt hahaha taste ok to me since i haven't drink enough sangria to compare... Anyway, anything made with love and care can't be that bad ya

28 December, 2007 - Timbre

Had lunch at Ajisen at Parkway today, this is my favourite ramen store because the food here are tasty and salty ;)

Hey Rubes, i wore my new cropped jacket today but not the shoes heehee i could barely walk a few steps and it hurts...lemme buy some plasters first
Dinner was at Timbre next to SMU, Sean is right, this is a good place to chill, eat and drink. They served thin crust pizza and very nice prunes wrapped in bacon. We ordered three different types of sausages and Erdinger beer :)
Sean is really cute, he beef up himself because he didn't wanna get "bullied" by other water polo players...since it is a contact sports. And wore braces for vanity sake haha

Do you think people who has got more time on hand will find it easier to get a girlfriend? This is the question that Sean posed during dinner. Told him that it's not true. If you are single but living a meaningful and fulfilling life, you won't feel lonely or have an urgency to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Anyway, his take is that he does not see the need to have a girlfriend now..at least not til when his career is stable and he has accomplished whatever he has set out to do. I feel that it's not about the braces or the built..it's his mentality..just not ready heehee And for now, he is living a fulfilling life. His girlfriend cannot be "sticky" and 麻烦 :D Ballroom dancing, he wants to learn this dance because of it's gracefulness. Chat chat chat...this is a good chill out time and i get to see a different side of him :)

27 December, 2007 - Senses/feelings vs logic/reason

December is coming to an end soon and i am in no mood to work hahaha tis' a time to be jolly, take it easy and get fat. (jk's favourite verse...take it easy) I am taking it so easy i don't feel like working or rushing or do anything that requires lotsa brain juice. In fact, i felt a sudden urge to jump into the pool this afternoon...and i wanted to take 1/4 leave and fulfil my urge but Fenn's on leave haiz
It's a good thing that i have many dark chocolates with brandy and cherry filling to suck on. I suspect this chocolate makes me more ditzy than usual tho...

Met Rubes in Orchard for retail therapy instead..this more than made up for the pool thingy. We bought many 战例品 and left the shops feeling happy and satisfied. Dun i juz lurve Far East ;) Hey Rubes, i think i am going to have blisters wearing this pair of red shoes..they hurt alot...BUT I AM STILL GOING TO WEAR THEM HAHAHAHA at least once just to justify their existence in my shoe cupboard. I love the cropped jacket alot :) going to wear it tomorrow heehee now i need another pair of solid good'O Levi's and i am quite done for December hohoho

Jervis sent me a message this afternoon that Zara is having a major sale today but the queue put me off...so is Mango, Topshop, Dorothy Perkins tsk tsk Jervis is so sweet, he baked me a big jar of cookies :) there's oatmeal and raisins, peanut butter and chocolate chips flavour.

I thought of something today...about the "smarty" apple, the serpent, Adam and Eve. Senses/feelings vs logic/reason. We only have inexact conceptions of things we perceive with our senses/feelings but we can have true knowledge of things we understand with reason/logic. Like no one in our time has actually seen the "smarty" apple, the serpent, Adam and Eve..so we derived conclusions based on our senses and feelings...or rather, whatever was recorded in history. We cannot really trust our senses or feelings because this varies from person to person. Which means there is no true knowledge. But if you asked what is seven multiply by three, the answer is definitely twenty-one and it's non argumentative. This is logic and reason.

Ok, i could be talking crap again...since it is already 1am in the morning and my feet are aching from all the walking.

Viv, we miss you...we wish you could be there to share all the sinful food with us on Christmas eve :) share the food, share the fat heehee

Here's our love and kisses *hugz*



Save the cheer leader, save the world -> pay the writers better pay, stop the writers' strike and we get to watch season two and three happily

25 December, 2007 - Merry X'mas hohohohohohoho

Merry Christmas everyone :)

Had Christmas dinner at Auntie June's place with my family. Good to see all my cousins again. Grace made absolute pear with ribena and it tasted nice. I had five cups cos' i couldn't resist *slurp* Absolute Pear is nice

24 December, 2007 - Christmas Anticipation

Went for a christmas lunch at Parkway and found my desk covered with lotsa little gifts when we are back. There was a ginger man sitting on my keyboard geez christmas is nice heehee

Met Rubes for dinner at Highlander in Clark Quay in the evening. We ordered a bottle of sparkling and half a pint of beer between the both of us. We didn't get drunk but i was wondering why does Zouk's long island tea makes me high so fast...Food as well of cos'...sauteed mushrooms, cheesy mozeralla with bacon, potatoe wedges, garlic bread, salad, Crème brûlée and a horrible cheese potatoe thingy. I finished up almost the whole basket of garlic bread!! So sinful! But the wine was good and the atmosphere is great.


















Next stop was at Lunar, a new pub in Clark Quay with dar this time. Cheena pok place..as cheena pok as St. Jame Powerhouse. Chey i thought it was cool from the outside. The place was so packed we could not stand still without being pushed around. Met Andrew and his friends here heehee Haven't seen him since the last Achieva gathering a few months back :) Anyway, there was this fatso who was pushing Jfk, Rubes and me. First time he irked me was when i said "excuse me" in order to get to Rubes side but he made no effort to move. Fine. Second time was when we were watching the band sing and he pushed JFK with his bloody lard filled body causing Jfk to spill the vodka on me. Ok fine too. Third time was when he tried to move that alcohol intoxicated pig-like body of his to the other of the table and his elbow hit me on there. I am hot this time and i shoved him as hard as i could. And he had the nerves to asked "why push me?". And i yelled back, i really wish to use my vodka cup and hit his head. Jfk played the peace maker and that fatso went out to smoke. His friend smiled at me and I overheard his friend said "Ah Bui is drunk and smoking outside" So, now we could watch the band in peace without any whale splashing around. Anyway, my anger subsided when he put his hand to his head as a gesture to apologise i supposed. He probably sobered up after a smoke. I am rashed...but given a choice, i would still have done the same and pushed him back. SORRY lo




Edwin got me a red purse from Guess in my favourite colour red :D am very touched that he remembered i like red. Thank you for giving me a lift to Eunos too..thank you for everything. Wanted to get a tie for ya from Zara but i couldn't find any nice ties in yellow..i gotta like something before buying it as gift :p now that i know you don't really like yellow..should have gotten the grey one, Zara has got nice executive ties

男人不坏，女人不爱.......for my special sista

In English, it translates into something like Girls like Bad Boys aka Nice Guys finish last..

I think the reason is because the guy can be a super horrible, despicable, heartless, incorrigible bastard to everybody out there, but when he comes home, he succumbs to his gal. He becomes gentle and tender to her, takes time to listen to her and all that 'care and concern' thingy. Why? Because it makes his gal feels special. And feeling special means she is irreplaceable and that equals to a sense of security.

That's probably why Lust & Caution sells. Tony Leung's character, Mr Yee, was such a bastard. He reveals no emotions to anyone, is guarded, chauvinistic, mean and cruel yet when he is alone with her, he turns into a passionate animal. Like nothing else matters except the both of them at the moment. He even bought her a really ring with a really big diamond. Oh did i mention about the mind fuck thingy...like there is this "又有又无", "wana cross dun wana cross" over the boundary kind of feeling. Communication through the eyes is intriguing. In contrast, Lee Hom's character (see, i forgot his name in the show) is to fight the Japanese to bring world peace. Well, that's a selfless, great ambition but it doesn't make his gal special. She had became one of the statistic in Shanghai to be saved *yawn*. See below.

Now, what if the guy is Mr Nice Guy to begin with, and he is nice to everybody? Hmmm then there wun be so much of a special feeling...because he is nice to everybody, his gal might feel:-
1) he is not passionate and crazy about her
2) she is just one of the "everybody" that he is nice to
3) she has to compete with quite a number of others to get his special attention
4) "am i really important to him?"
5) "does he really love me?"
I mean if he is nice to everybody, how special can she feel hahaha the prince will have eyes only for HIS princess..remember?

Anyway, not all gals believe in the 男人不坏，女人不爱 thingy. Some gals believe in true love and others money. If Mr Bad guy is also Mr Rich guy...wah zeh mo best lo
Like a suave "bad guy", rich prince who comes along and sweeps her off her feet and set everything right. He is there to protect, nurture, care and love her. And he kills all enemies who try to invade his kingdom because war will disrupts the peace that his lady love enjoys tsk tsk. See, you don't have to be a bad guy to make a gal feels special. Just give her undivided attention, lotsa care and concern.

Oh and the Mr Rich guy bit...well if you can't find true love, at least the money is real. So the market for Mr Rich guy will always be there because there will always be demand.

So it does not mean that chicks like guys to be mean to them.

I owe you the "do guys know?" and "blush" bit :)

Random Thoughts

MSN Pal
Instant messenging - the one thing that pals use to get message across to us in lightning speed. Helps us to share thoughts and secrets...helps us get gossips across fast and safe too.

Blogging Inner-Circle
Blogging is the only way we can release all those pent-up emotions, be they happy, sad or angry. Yet we don't want half the world to know everything that's going on in our life, so only a privileged few have access to our most private blog entries. They are the only ones who know our deepest, darkest secrets, and so we can count on them to give the soundest advice.

:)

21 December, 2007 - My Secret Pal

Got to know that Willie's mum had passed away last nite...gosh life is short and you really never know when you will be robbed of your life. Chinyiang, CP, Khim Chew, Desmond, Anthea, Heidi, Sean, Catherine and me went to the wake during lunch to pay our respect..when i saw Willie cried, i felt tears sprang up drats

This morning, Sean shoved a gift into my hands and said "nah, your present" hahaha so he is my secret pal :) no wonder when we were at Raffles City and i was looking at ear rings while waiting for Emily to arrive, he asked which one would i like and he would buy keke thought he was kidding me..this is a sweet guy :D

The new PM came for training today..he is going to be here for two weeks training before coming on board officially. He is another fit looking guy with i supposed good looks. Is hiring good lookers an addiction?

Dar and me have been watching Heroes for the past few nites and i think we are addicted. Save the cheerleader, save the world.

Shit there is a Heroes writers strike in US...

How To Do Business ...

Hey Yan, you are being missed already..enjoy your Taipei stay and then Vegas :))
Saw this on your blog again and i really must post it here. So funny lo muahahaha
*****************************************************************************
How To Do Business ...

(I) HOW TO DO BUSINESS WITH TWO COWS:

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut thesupply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urineinstead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.


(II) A GOOD BUSINESSMAN ...

JACK, a smart businessman, talks to his son.

JACK : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son : "I will choose my own bride !"
JACK : "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter !!!"
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next JACK approaches Bill Gates.

JACK : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry !"
JACK : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank !!!"
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally JACK goes to see the president of the World Bank.

JACK : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need !"
JACK : "But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law !!!"
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done.

18 December, 2007 - Are you a better person today?

Went do a facial at Amore in Simei after work today, this feels very good..especially after such a day like today. The bed comes with a heater and the room is filled with a very calming aroma heehee and when the beautician massaged my face...wah, feels like ahem heaven? I wish i can go do foot massage immediately after this and then followed by pedicure/manicure. So nice being a woman ^_^ ahhhhh

Today, i realised that time consuming is when:-
1) you expect others to understand your "two lines sentence" in a whole chain of email history and expect others to "Get it? Good, solve it." (我没时间，你自己读)
2) you begin grumbling non stop on the phone about how bad everything is bla bla bla complete with selective hearing. So the other party is non the wiser at what's the exact problem and still have to solve it. (alamak, 全世界你最惨了，没有人比你惨了)
3) you start to confuse others by adding more directly or indirectly related problems to the existing problem...so now the problem becomes very huge and looming.(还有这个你也要帮我！这个也是！ har? can one by one or not?)
4) you have an unconscious denial in your mind to try solve problems together by being calm and logical but instead ask "how? how? how? how to stop this problem from happening again and again?" So the problem conveniently becomes the problem of the other party. (it really takes both hands to clap, you know) (你看啦，这些问题弄得我很忙.)
5) The ulitmate has to be "not my problem what, you should ask name of whoever"

Haiz...i need dark chocolates to stay cool and retain my logical sense

Dar picked me after that and we drove to Macdonald at Siglap for dinner.. then after that walked to Gelare to meet Jervoise and Jervis :) Face was still covered in mask when Jervis called to asked if i am still at work and if i wanna go have waffles with them, constant guilt inducing naggings at them work hahaha otherwise both of them are going on shopping trips and dinners WITHOUT me tsk tsk Just sitting there having waffles with the three of them makes my day :)

Saw a discussion topic on tv this evening about how we should strive to live like a 君子. 君子 walks the talk...action speaks louder than words. I supposed it also means respect is earned, not given. That makes alot of difference.Anyway, are you a better person today?

17 December, 2007 - December Rain

The office is rather quiet today. There is just something so special about December. 2007 is ending...if everything is coming to an end, then i miss the past few months.2008 is a new beginning...like what Pastor Dominic said.

When i left the office, there weren't anyone else from marketing..everyone has got infected with the "nuah hong" i guess. As i stood at the walkway waiting for dar and listening to rain drops hitting on the concrete pavement, i wish i was walking down Orchard Road enjoying the street lights and then having coffee at Starbucks with someone. For a moment, i miss Anna haha it was almost a year ago that we were at Borders..

Okok let's side track abit, my favourite Heroes character is Hiro Nakamura. Save the cheerleader, save the world :)

Anyway for the rest of December, i am going to catch up with friends and allow the December mood to completely sink in.

I am still trying to figure out the errant serpent and the "smart" apple, meanwhile, it's just faith.

16 December, 2007 - Housewarming Party

Yesterday was housewarming at my mum's place :) Mum invited our whole family and i invited Yan, Gary, Shulian, Royston and Tenghui. The food table had just been set up when it started pouring! Think mum must have prayed, rain went away after ten minutes and we could have our bbq and eat our food muahahaha

Grace injured her right eyebrow and ended up with five blue stitches...but typically garang of her...she drove to school to do her modules bidding before driving herself to Tan Tock Seng alone haiz anyway this is one freak accident or rather a clumsy one. She opened her car door and hit her right eye brow..she is gonna have a scar..but i think she don't really care keke my smart and beautiful garang cousin.

If only we could have such family gatherings as often as we like, life is beautiful :)

Mum is happy to see so many babies but i am not in a way...i kena pressured but i hope she accepts it that this is not going to happen anytime.

14 December, 2007 - One year anniversary

Today is our first year wedding anniversary but we won't be spending it together. Will celebrate it next week :)

Emily and her friend from Kl are here on holiday this weekend so Sean and me are going to be having dinner with her. Dinner at a chinese restaurant in City Link and drinks at Highlander in Clark Quay. This is a nice place to chill, great band and great beer. I think Emily must be smitten with Sean haha see the pics..body language hmmm

*pics to be uploaded*

13 December, 2007 - Dinner & Dance

Went to office sans make up today (zeh mo da dan) and risk looking pale heh heh but cannot wear make up because i will get professional help later in the afternoon.

The whole day was full of anticipation :) it's our company dinner & dance. I am so excited that a few of us gals are going to get our make up and hair done heehee it's always so exciting to get a professional make up artist to do my make up :)) Fenn, Willie and me left the office at 4.30pm to get to the make up place but actually hor, my brain has already switched off from work since 3pm hahaha I am back at Candice's place exactly one year since wedding day..how time flies

Most of us made an effort to dress "retro"..especially the APAM team. Wah lau alfro hair do and tight, glittering clothes THEY ARE SO COOL and SPORTING. Sat with Fenn, Edwin, Sean, Shirley, Glenda, Eileen, Auntie..and i don't know the names of the rest..so sad..anyway, it's a happy happy night. Couldn't stop laughing almost the whole evening :D Sean won the 11th prize but it's a blender..

If only it was a Friday..then could have went somewhere with great beer with Edwin and Sean haiz then my make up can stay a little wee bit longer

Come to think of it, i had two dinner & dance this year...one in January and now this in December..and i won the first prize..a Mont Blanc pen plus a hundred buck Takashimaya voucher in January..this time round, am not so lucky :)

2007...ending soon..so sad and 不舍得

11 December, 2007 - Ideal World vs Real World

Saw auntie trying to put up the tree this morning, tried unsuccessfully to help her fix the stand...and broke my nails instead..

In the ideal world, everyone in the office will come together and do their bits to decorate the place to make it chrismassy. In the real world, a christmas tree with stars, bells and other ornaments does not exist AND people are busy, as usual, scurrying about their work and emails....it's about work work work and then going home to their lives. Magic belongs to all the movies made about Harry Potter. Period.

Than again, life may not always be perfect but it is always full of hope. We have a christmas tree standing tall and grand with gold ornaments standing at the entrance now :))

Are most people jaded with life?

This week, i am determind to make B***** work. There is 100 over parts in a BOM to be quoted and when i left the office just now, i only managed to complete coming up with the correct part numbers. If there is anything to feel trapped, this is it...the line that made me see quite a number of things..ugly sides arrghhh Anyway, make it work, overcome the bloody challenge and whatever. Rubes, i wish you are back...

8 December, 2007 - Hair Trim

Woke up at 9am this morning and had to rush to get ready again. Barely had three hours of sleep..and it's a long day today. God really works in strange ways...i saw my cell leader, Jaena, at CCSS today! Just got her message about how was i doing the day before..because i have been skipping cell sessions haha, and now here she is...in the same community service as me. A sign?? To get back into cell???

Mr. Lau, the head of CCSS for elderly group gave us a briefing today..about how 6 elderly have passed away in the past 2 years. Anyway, i found two new opportunities to serve...1)Befriender group 2)Hair trimming

Befriender group is where people are assigned to go to the flats of the elderly and clean up their place, visit them during festive season, bring them out to make their day...in short, care and connect with them. This is what i prefer, more so than just singing, doing arts and craft and serving food every Saturday morning. It is when people are at their loneliest that they feel most vulnerable. So, befrienders are to reach out and be there for them emotionally...and not just to attend to the basic needs of food and lodgings.

This afternoon, there were two ladies from another church to trim the hair of the elderly. Jaena and me are going with them to the Institute of Mental Health the following Saturday to learn this skill. They figured that the male patients in IMH just needed to crop their hair short and they make the best "models" for the both of us to learn hahaha this is a challenge..since i am proverbially known to be clumsy. But this is a challenge i am taking up heehee i would love to see what's IMH like. Might be another place that open door to just another opportunity.

Went back to the office at 1pm to clear all the backlog emails that have been accumulating from since don't know when. I like it when the office is empty. Only a few people came this afternoon and i made friends with the lady from accounts :) She offered me chocolates and we chatted with Florence Ngiam. Daryl, perhaps you are right, people feel comfortable with me and they open up. I am never close to the both of them but they started sharing the "pain" of their work with me. In retrospect, i do not share things with people easily...unless i am comfortable with that person. I hope i don't come across as cold. But to me, compliants are only just compliants unless you make changes. I realised that people like to say how "cham" they are and how unfortunate they are, always focussing on all the things that are not going their way...thus forgeting to remember all the other blessings that they have. Reminded me of the MSO meeting we had this week. One of the compliants was about how some sales personnels put us on copy in their correspondence with customer's emails. But then again, sometimes we put them on copy in our correspondences with suppliers as well mah. Anyway, this does not seem like a major problem to me because it is something that can be solved easily..but Sean and me got "branded as passive from selling passive products"..because we have no compliants. I believe that like me, he finds most of the compliants amusing...poor Fenn haha i like Sean, he is a cute fella keke cutest when he is hungry muahahahaha By the way, i told Sarah that i do not want to try what Alicia is doing now. Even before Fenn told us about it, Sarah has told me to go try that position because i get a chance to do other line cards bla bla bla She said it's an opportunity to go but somehow, no peace in my heart = no try...besides, i like working with Edwin now and Sean is funny.

But it might also be a bad habit of mine..to keep everything inside me and to just 忍 and then drop everything without warning...like i never tell Dar my thoughts and then just start a cold war..and he won't know what hit him..

Anyway, by the time i left the office, it was almost 5pm and i was super hungry. Only had a chicken pie for breakfast and i feel faint from hunger. But i feel happy cos emails are almost done. Had cravings for KFC :) yummy

Went home to check out Jervoise and he looked so comical in a neck support hahaha humpty dumpty sat on the bed :D i wish i am staying here too, so near my workplace and it feels good to come home and see my family after work.

7 December, 2007 - Cafe Del Mar

It's now 4am and i am blogging away...cos i cannot sleep...intoxicated with alcohol again.

PS Wong and Lynn came pick me up from work to meet the rest at the indoor stadium. It's Jasper's last day and we are having dinner at Jumbo Seafood restaurant. Almost everyone in Lights turn up and i am so touched that i was invited to join in the farewell dinner :) After dinner ended at around 9.30pm, we went Cafe Del Mar at Sentosa..so far away haiz

Jasper, Lynn, PS Wong, Keith, Steven, Cedric, Aaron, Alan Kwan, Serene, Jasmin, Jasmine, Amie, Marc, KS, Chris, Catherine, Lional Leong, John Chan. Jiawei from TDK came as well...Jasper really is somebody.. It's such a small industry, everyone knows someone from somewhere..John Chan is from KED, who knew Shirley and Jin How...Catherine too..gosh and Lional used to be in my company now. Good, networking begins again tonight..tho no mood to do so. Anyway, networking means a bottle of Jack Daniels, a jug of long island tea and 12 bottles of beer. We played games and loser drinks. I tried my best at the 5-10 game but i am really bad at it. New game i learnt was - 老虎，兔子，蛇 and neh-ji kekeke this is fun. The number of guys outnumbered the gals by more than half in Lights and the gals are always so pampered here. We would all go out for lunch together and the guys are always so "full of dirty jokes". Better to work with men...sorry if i sound errr so un-feminist..but guys are more objective and rational..until ego kicks in. I have met my fair share of women who "torment" me emotionally to ever wana work closely with women...call that phobia or whatever..does not help that i am not able to express myself well verbally.

Phrase i wana remember:
Keith:"You play first, if cannot then i come in and settle for you."
Somehow, there is something re-assuring and "safe feeling" about this sentence. Feeling 小女人 tonight...maybe just tired.

By the time Chris sent me home, it's 3.30am and i am dead beat...yet unable to sleep damn. But i got a surprised from Dar. The moment i opened the door, i saw a tall white Christmas tree sparkling with blue lights :))
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So many things happened this week and now it's a whirlwind of thoughts in my head. Jervoise's operation reminded me that life is fragile. Our family going to the hospital with him the whole day reinforce the importance of family.

Did a strange thing this afternoon, i asked for incentive to be taken away for a line card. I feel that i did not allocate enough time on this line and i feel that i don't deserve it. Daryl, i wanted to tell you that i am not doing this to make myself feel better (ok maybe 10% is), i know i am trying my best on this but i suppposed it's not good enough. Knowing that i will keep trying makes me feel better instead..overcoming this challenge means more than having this stupid thing hovering around me. I do not know if i have done the correct thing or was being rash but i know i have had it so there...just do it without much considerations. Anyway kena rejected la haha

Should have just went ahead with Bali.

Anyway, a thought striked a moment ago...if i leave all to God, i would not be fretting.

6 December, 2007 - Jervis's 23rd birthday :)

Today is Jervis birthday but there was no cake..we met at the hospital and bought a packet of chips to "celebrate" with Jervoise :)

He is awake today and is able to take a little bit of food. Amen. Mark and Christine came to visit him and prayed for him as well, mum is glad.

We will make it up to Jervis this weekend ^_^

5 December, 2007 - Operation Day

Dar sent me to mum's place this morning at 8am...and Jervoise is still sleeping.

9.30am - Dad sent us to Mount Elisabeth
10am - Reached Dr. Chacha's clinic
10.30am - Did blood test at test lab
11.00am - Waited at the admission office
11.30am - Shown way to room
12pm - Lunch with mum in Soup Spoon at Paragon
1pm - Jervis arrived
1.20pm - Changed to operation gown
1.30 - Wheeled to operating theatre

We waited outside the theatre for awhile..just to make sure our presence are not needed for the next few hours. It was drizzling outside and so cold in the hospital. Mum, Jervis and me took a cab to Takashimaya because we had no umbrella and mum did not want to be anywhere near the rain water :) so near yet so far...there was a jam from Mt. E to Taka and the cab fare ran up to ten bucks! Without the jam and the rain, i think the fare should have been about less than five bucks.

Got two hundred dollars worth of Taka vouchers for Sarah, took 10 envelopes for the vouchers, can pass some to Edwin for his vouchers heh heh to be recycled as gift...so not environmental friendly of me. Window-shop aimlessly and ended up at Mango in Wisma. (Damn, the red bag that i bought from Mango a few weeks back comes in gold colour now! Would have bought this colour if it was out back then lo..Yan, grab it fast)

The rain did not stop, it only got heavier...no choice, no cab in sight, had to run back to Mt. E from Lucky Plaza as this is the building closest to the hospital. We got wet and my hair sucks..bad hair day..no bouncy curls but wet and limp "barely can see curls" instead. I was the only one fretting about my hair, sulking and sneezing while waiting for Jervoise to be out.

By the time Jervoise got out, it was almost 6pm..and he was to stay in the high dependency ward for observation.

He is going to be ok.

Lust & Caution

There is something so pensive about this picture of Mr. Yee. Guarded, passionate, confident yet lonely. Perhaps this loneliness attracts him to her, who knows him for who he is...for being able to see beyond his facade of strength and fear, and to see and feel his emptiness hmmm



Worth watching the movie :) looking into Tony Leong's eyes can just melt any heart haha

4 December, 2007 - Worrying is useless

I am worried about Jervoise's operation tomorrow. I tried my best to look cool and calm about it in front of him but i am not feeling this way in my heart. I am frightened and worried sick. Anyway, we reassured him that we will be waiting outside the theatre for him.

December is already here...which means that 2007 is going to be gone in a flash. Jasper's last day of work is on Friday, somehow i feel we have this chemistry and affinity even though we knew each other for a short while. It's strange how i "attract" sensitive souls...the so called 30% ya JK? haha

Back to December. Time is passing so freaking fast!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I don't think i am really restless, more like freaking worried today..and i cannot seem to sit still and do my work..tho i turn most of the emails from red to black :))

Worrying is absofuckingly useless haha courtesy from Mr. Big.

3 December, 2007 - Changes

Hello Rubes, i am going to miss you to bits while you are gone travelling on business trips for two weeks...haiz..i should have been on the way to Bali with you on Thursday...i am sure we will have real wacky FUN and paint the beach red hahaha

Anyway, back to what i wanna tell you...alot of things are going on in your life right now and you are right, going away for awhile will help you see things in a different perspective. Take this time to see the world and focus on enjoying life in the most simplest form. Yan and me will always be here for you and we love you :) oh not forgeting your Dan, the Harry Potter lookalike keke

Questions...

Hi Germaine;
Pls see some questions to ask for direction;

1. Am I missing any in life right now that is important to me?
At the moment, it's not catching up enough with those sensitive souls that i have "acquired" over the short two years who strangly seems to really know me. They are my psychiatrists. Let's see...also missing out the big need to start a serious diet?

2. What am I passionate about?
Life, people, arts and the art of make up

3. Who am I ?
Errmm, Germaine? Is that what the question is supposed to mean?

4. What do I value?
Family, friends who really care about me, honesty, sincerity, truth and happiness

5. What I want to be doing in 10 yrs time?
41 years of age and still looking good...sitting by a cafe, simply enjoying life

6. What would I be willing to die for?
My family

7. What is it about my job that makes me feel trapped?
Not sure as i don't feel trapped now..

8. What realistic change u can make for your employment?
No idea...never really given it much thought..

Daryl

*i will give all the questions a serious thought this weekend and send you my reply :)

2 December, 2007 - Jervoise's 28th birthday

Jervoise is 27 going on 28 today :) but he looks much older hahaha Jervis bought him a chocolate cake, Chocolate Indulgence, from Secret Receipe and i bought pizza for dinner :) Auntie Eugenia and Elysia were here to celebrate his birthday as well. Elysia is going to start her new job tomorrow and she is feeling nervous about having to apply eye liner and wear make up hahaha

Canadian pizza is kinda nice, especially the chicken wings heehee This would be our first birthday celebration in Kembangan and many, many more to come.

Pastor's Pen for this weekend...

Seek and Find
While God certainly is a good God and we are able to testify of His goodness, healin, restoration, guidance, direction and forgiveness, we cannot seek Him merely to receive these from Him. More than ever, as Christmas approaches, we are reminded of the need to seek God for who He is, to long for His presence and to abide in Him.

How do we seek God?

Exodus 33 tells us how Moses pitched the Tent of Meeting where he could meet with God away from everyone else. This tells us that we must deliberately find a place to meet God, away from things that will distract us or cause us to become too familiar with God and take Him too casually.

When Jesus called His disciples to follow Him, He called them away from their routine of every day life. To just come and be alone with Him away from all that was familiar. This does not mean we forsake or shirk our duties and responsibilities toward our family and jobs. But if we want to find God, we must first set aside time. We can redeem the time by re-prioritising and forgoing some of the time we spend on hobbies, television or on the computer, in order to seek God earnestly.

God tells us in Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

God wants us to seek Him and to find Him. To do that, we need God's help to reestablish our priorities so that we can rediscover our purpose in Him.

My verse for 2007 in the pastor's pen.....is this a reminder?
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart..."

After so long (not sure if a few months is considered long) i still have grey areas...i mean i still think it's ok to have grey areas. I am only human and an imperfect one at that. Except that perhaps for now, i do feel guilty, abit la, when i am wavering between what should be black and white.

Watched the last episode of "Do not disturb", the one with Adrian Pang and Andrea de Cruz in it...and til now, i can still understand why they did what they did in the show...okok Rubes and Yan, i will re-arrange the thoughts in my head and write about the "blushing" bit and "do guys really know" bit in another entry kekeke lemme do some research first.

1 December, 2007 - Zouk nite's out :)

Finished the test early on Friday and went shop around at Bugis...retail therapy needed. Had no problems finishing all the assignments and remembered all the steps but i think i was careless during the test...saved things that i think i should not be saving and test the results of some questions..does not help that i am sleepy and in day dream mode sigh...but lucky pass man keke

Met up with Edwin, Sarah and Sean in Grand Copthorne and had dinner at Zion Hawker Center. Best cheese toufu here and best dou hua :) but i was so hungry that by the time we got there, i 饿到饱。。。so couldn't eat alot or i will have tummy discomfort :( but i really wanted to order more food so that we have more choices and eat our fill.. While waiting for them in the lobby at Grand Copthorne, i was reading the bible when an ang moh asked me what was i reading. He asked what was a good church to attend in Singapore since he will be leaving on Sunday night. I gave him the address to my church, told him it's good, wish he will have fun in Singapore and pretended to look at my phone...too hungry to make any more small talks...but then after my dinner, a thought striked me...God just sent me to bring some one to my church...He works in funny ways.

Went Zouk and we had free entry woohoo, cos' there is a Levi's event tonite. This feels really good, to be in Zouk again. The last time that i partied at Zouk was in April..and club hop to Butter Factory for round two with Rubes and Chris...seems so long ago. Wah the long island tea is damn good lo, feels so heady after drinking it..haven't been feeling this way for so long. Zouk is famed for its long island tea, damn shiok..i imagined that for every sip of LIT, the liquid flows into your body and makes you feel so relax, floaty and happy. Long term abstinence from alcohol is no good hahaha i am never a good drinker to begin with, and always am the first one to be "gone and quiet" during drinking sessions with Yan and Rubes. Took me so long to train up and improve by drinking lotsa hard liquer just so that i won't be the first one top puke keke bo liao.. But then again, Zouk's LIT is also known to be "lethal"...i feel heady almost everytime i take it heehee

Music sucks that night...no R & B but i was in very good company :) Should have went Butter or Double O instead...at least they sure have better music on a Friday night wan hmmm then can dance more... BUT, this is a very happy dinner and clubbing night with them :) i am happy this night. People really are top on my list..people, location, job satisfaction and money in this order = happy. My unrelentless search for a "someone" whom i can rely on, to trust and to assist/work with and look up to...the corporate ladder is secondary..i know what Daryl will say...not ambitious enough..but maybe that's not my calling ma. Maybe i should go be a secretary.
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Lucky no need to go CCSS this morning...woke up at 8am and go hospital with Jervoise for the ECG test, blood test and X-Ray. Woke up with a little headache...but worth it hahaha

Yan came over to check out mum's place and we meet up with Rubes at Robertson Quay for dinner and chat. Dinner was at Harry's and we had Margarita *slurp* nice one here :) we had an interesting topic tonight heehee, gonna write about that in another entry. I really love you gals my bak bak sistas, for keeping me grounded, talking sense into me when i am being nonsensical, rationing facts for me when i am being emotional bla bla bla CHEERS

i will write about our topic soon ya *winkz*

29 November, 2007 - Galatians

Am sitting here starting to blog when my test is tomorrow awwwhhh ain't i hardworking tsk tsk Why is there so many things to do in my life and so little discipline???

Alex is an interesting guy, he told me to read the verse below today...while chasing after me for his samples.

Galatians 5:19
When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outburst of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Back to looking at the book..received an "all the best" sms from Edwin to do well for the test tomorrow. Touched...cos' it's really all these little things that matter most to me..thank you for the care and concern that makes everything seems brighter :)

28 November, 2007 - MSN-ing -> Instant Messenging

MSN, skype, icq and yahoo - instant messenging tools that are so essential in our life now..or at least mine.

There is even a whole list of emoticons to select from, depending on the mood that you are in. It's communication without having to look at the other person face to face, within our control to think as long as we want before typing what we want to "say". To me, it's really just another mode of communication :) I like msn, because it's so convenient to use and when i am connected, i can reach out to my friends. We can use msn to share secrets silently haha, show angry emoticons when it's difficult to say it face to face, show crying emoticons when you really want to cry but you don't want anyone to see your smudged mascara and pathetic state of teary eyes etc best of all, i have fun with all the emoticons ;)

27 November, 2007 - Good Bye 732

Woke up at 6.30am again and this is bad..i felt so sleepy in the afternoon when the trainer was yakking away...and me was really close to being in day-dream mode. Jialat man...wonder how am i going to take the test at this rate...

Went to our old place to take a look for a last time. This place felt like a ghost town now..almost everyone has left this little estate because they are going to seal up this place soon.

I am crazy to feel attached to a place, just can't help it. I think this is the last time that i am stepping foot here haiz...

26 November, 2007 - Classes in Tiong Bahru

Woke up at 6.30am this morning and dar sent me to Tiong Bahru for class. I miss being a student heh heh went for classes sans make up today just to feel like a student :p Met Amy for breakfast at Ah Kun at 8am and both of us are like zombies..

Excel never fails to amaze me, period. I like the bit about how to do the sub-totals and data validation...zeh mo steady lei knowledge is power hahaha but there are so many formulas and functions to remember...i hope i will be able to remember whatever i have learnt to last til Friday. Lunch with Fenn, Amy, Chinyiang and Catherine today at the food court. Topic was about how bitchy the banking industry can be & how Singapore men are enamoured by girls from China. Will you sleep with your client in order to close a big deal? Apparently, some women do and in the banking industry, it's all about keeping up with appearances. Maybe when you are young and impressionable, it seems ok to throw caution into the wind and sleep your way up. But then again, i think it's all about personal upbringing, morales and integrity. I know there should be no grey area about this issue but i really think it's a personal choice...so we should not judge.

Why are women from China seemingly more appealing to Singapore men? Or rather, are Singapore women losing our charms? The other day, both Edwin and Alex said girls from Singapore are so materialistic and high maintenance...and Singapore girls have a "say" (read in hokkien). Daryl mentioned something about prefering girls not from our sunny island too and his wifey is from KL ;) What's up with our men? Is it THE retaliation from our men? For so long, female magazines have ran articles after articles about how unromantic the average Singapore men were as compared to their western counterparts. (like i am a closet spg...) Anyway, i heard our sisters from China or anywhere else in asia are gentle to their men and are "sai nai" enough to make men feel like really manly. Perhaps this is something we need to learn :p

Saw this on Richard's msn -> "Men are like dogs, they need to be trained" hahahahaha coming from a man, it's funny

Went to Mt Alvernia to visit Pearline this evening, baby Nic is so cute and red..here is another unsuccessful natural birth switch to cesarean birth..when i hear her describe the process, my knees felt wobbly. I hear things like contractions, cut, pool of blood, stitching, injection, pain...my knees really felt weak and i think my heart must have skipped a beat. I am glad my biological clock, or rather the lack of it, is not ticking.

25 November, 2007 - Clueless?

JFK sent me to church this morning and i was early. Thank God cos' i can go get breakfast at Hans. We have a guest speaker today, Pastor Ong Seng Liang. Topic today is about how men can actually be rather flippant in our relationship with God.

Man A: Are you going to church next week
Man B: Dunno lei, see how la, if not busy can go lo
Man A: Can like that wan meh?
Man B: Aiya, if go holiday then cannot go church oso ma

I think he meant that we view going to church as an obligation rather than something we really want to do.

Anyway, for the past two weeks or so, i feel that have been praying less and spending less time reading the bible. And last week at church was a complete mess for me...cos' i was not really paying attention. Today's topic was good...cos i am reminded that i should start spending more time with Him again. Eric,fellow CCSS volunteer, caught me sitting at a corner day dreaming and insisted on praying for me. Did not have much of a choice cos' he walked over, grabbed both my hands and say "let's pray"...but i was really touched by what he did. Because as usual, i was struggling on whether if i should walk up to the altar and reaffirm my faith but somehow, my feet are always glued to where i am standing. He prayed for me to find my directions and leave all to God...that i will always have His blessings, that He loves me for who i am, that i will always have peace and that i will always have faith in Him. Maybe He sent Eric to pray this prayer for me..i have been in a really restless mood for some time again, not because life is too good and i am too free to feel this way. Life is good..true.

Daryl,let's meet up soon now that you are back from Shanghai. Where is my 小笼包？

Went to Stephen and Elaine's new place for dinner this eveng. There were 4 babies who were born this year and the whole place was filled with kids! As i listen to the babies cry, shit, drink milk and crawl, i am reminded of why i have no interest in having my own kids. While it was fun to carry them around for AWHILE, i think i will go crazy if i am stuck with babies' cries...i really cannot handle it man wah sai... i supposed the biologial clock has disappeared...just when it barely appears hahaha i love babies and kids when they are not mine ;)

24 November, 2007 - Orchard :)

We taught the elderly people to string beads together so that CCSS can sell them for charity. As i watched this po-po try so hard to string the beads together, i cannot help think about my late ah-ma who passed away in May this year. She looks just like ah-ma, thin, frail, sunken cheeks with glasses perched on her nose, short snow white hair. Anyway, i learnt today that the elderly have problems stringing the black beads and the crystal beads together. Just imagine, i can make those intricate crystal jewelleries and ear rings deftly (considering the fact that i am a very clumsy gal with butter fingers) now, one day, i will be old and possibly sitting at one of those long tables staring into space. Better make our lives mean something while it lasts.

RUBES GOT ME < SEX AND THE CITY >!!! THANKIE *SMUACKZ*

Went Bugis/Orchard with Rubes and her SIL to check out LV bags. I am obsessed with my hair..spent close to 80 bucks on hair products again. And bought an eyelash builder..thanks to Rubes's itchy hands. This product claims to be able to strengthen our lashes and make it grow longer muahahaha. We are such suckers for gimmicks and products that are directly associated with vanity.

This a happy Saturday, JFK picked me from Wisma and we met up with mum, Jervoise and Jervis in Robinsons at Centerpoint. Feels great just walking down Orchard with them. Jervis has grown up to be a handsome young man and Jervoise is going to be stuck as a 肥的刘德华 gosh... Mum is shopping around for bed sheets and some kitchen knick knacks. JFK bought a pair of swimming trucks for himself and a set of bikini for me yay we are going to hit the pool at my parents' place soon :)

After dinner, we cramped into Jervoise's room to pig out on Ben & Jerry's ice cream and "burn" cds hahaha life is so much better with family around.

Mum & me :)


Everything's magical during Christmas

23 November, 2007 - Homo Sapiens

Jin How's last day today. I supposed the of there will be more after the year ends. Is the grass always greener on the other side? I supposed most times it's our attitude and the angle of our point of view.

Tonight, at 11.30pm, has got to be the latest that i ever stayed working in the office. I enjoy working with my PM, he works hard and i prefer to work with people who just put in the effort to mean something. It's so quiet and peaceful to work at night. It's nice to work real hard and party as hard...except that i have not been partying. Damn. When there are not many people around at work and there are many empty desks around, there seems to be a connection between you and the workplace. Like you are in an empty office working "out of office" working hours, it almost feels surreal. Then during the day time, you can see the stark difference. Like how day time is reality working world and night time is virtual working world...and you are part of both worlds. I am writing crap.

Sometimes i think all these emails are like ping pong balls..except that you are not playing with one ball but a few balls at a time. So you reply as much emails as possible and that's tantamount to throwing the balls back to the other side of the court. As long as the balls are not sitting in your court, you are safe in the game. Otherwise, the referee comes along and "yellow card" you...that's tantamount to being judged by management, colleagues, suppliers and customers. (I know "yellow card" is for soccer but i have no idea how are ping pong ball games being judged) Sometimes, it's actually quite gratifying to be able to get things done and being useful...i wonder if it's my constant quest for knowledge or simply just OCD. But it's a vicious cycle of getting burnt out and then get all emotional and then the seed of "running away" thought gets planted into your head.

Anyway, that's homo sapiens for us.

Psalm 142:1-7
I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord'd mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn to.
Wherever I go, my enemies have set traps for me, I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O Lord.
I say,"You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry, for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out pf prison so that I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me."

Ecclesiates 9:11
I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skilful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.

Why do women wear make up?

I thought about it for awhile and i figured out this.

1) It is really an appearance enhancement thing = vain
2) Interest in colours
3) Hide insecurities (Edwin's point of view)
4) "peer pressure" from magazines
5) Masking inperfections aka face flaws

Actually the list could just go on and on. Why do we pluck our eyebrows, go for manicures, pedicures, facial, rebonding, perming, perm our eye lashes, wear falsies, buy push up bras etc etc etc. Some women dress up because when you look good, you feel good. Some women dress up for their men and some women dress up to be admired by men and women. So the world is a stage to showcase their enhanced and "not so natural" beauty. Not many women are natural born beauties and if make-up can do some enhancement, why not? Imagine this, a plain looking gal walks into a room, with really thick and shapeless eye brows, would men bother looking? Then again, if she doesn't really care that she is not a natural beauty or equates looking good to feeling good, then it's fine. Some girls just want attention, lotsa atention...so this probably means make-up, low cut tops, short skirts and any other ways to get attention...including being loud.

Then again, there are women who never leave home without make up...these are probably very insecure women...maybe they don't feel pretty and even ugly without the mask.....this would be a mental thing. Some women do all these things deemed unneccessary by men because we feel pampered when there is someone fussing over our nails, eye brows, hair, lashes and whatever. Touch is a wonderful thing..like hugs and kisses *smuakz* Don't really care if men are admiring, but of cos the attention given is an ego booster, feeling good about yourself is more important. And life can be boring if we don't do all these girly things with another gal pal to bond hahaha

Almost all the men i "interviewed" prefer natural beauty.
- no need put so much make up la, like wayang
- aiyah who will see your nails
- wear short skirt can liao ma
- show "half cup" lo
- simple better
- natural beauty is best la

Strange to say, these are the very same men who gawk at women walking around with make up and a well groomed face. I have such a typical man at home..hor JFK?

To conclude, it's really a personal choice la...and actually, these are the things that make women intrguing hahaha the men that i "interviewed" are all not metrosexual men. These are typical MEN. I would like to think of it this way...you like to look at those nice and expensive looking french cuisines but you prefer eating char kuey tiao or wanton mee heehee *Men like fresh meat* Rubes ;)

Jervis, Alex and Jeremy will probably understand why women go through all the hassles hahaha

Me, i love MAKE UP because it makes women interesting and feminine ;)

22 Novenmber, 2007 - Farewell lunch AGAIN

We had lunch at Cafe Cartel this afternoon...it's Jin How's farewell lunch sigh...Amy, Catherine, Alicia, Pauline, Rick, Sarah, Sean and me went. Before he came onboard, there were so much hooha that we are going to have an ex man hunt coming and everyone was like so eager to see how he looked like. Anyway.....whatever

I am having problems clearing my emails again...a little mental block now but thankfully, i am not so sick anymore and mind is more alert and functioning better.

Getting quite immune to farewell lunches.

21 Novenmber, 2007 - Wednesday blues

Now i know why i have been feeling grouchy...it was "PMS time" last week and "姨妈" came today, early by a whole week! Damn and i was not prepared at all...meaning i had to buy "面包" from Fenn haiz don't i just miss yesterday...eating happily and lazing around doing absolutely nothing...I am feeling grouchy today cos of the stoopid cramps.

Got up early to make my special otah with cheese, and i hope they like what they ate heehee

HS Loo and TC Ng are in Singapore for a meeting today. Dinner with them, Tuck Meng, Kheng Wai, Edwin and Alex at Crystal Jade in Suntec. Men will always be boys...conversations are made and then some "chio bus" walked in, some subtle stares, some open stares but all obvious distractions haiz can't agree more with what Alex said about men being visual creatures and women being auditory creatures.
Had tea and brownie with Edwin after dinner at NYDC, always such an entertaining and interesting conversation with him :)

Kinda sad that TC is going to leave...but he is going to UK with girlfriend for more exposure so that's a good thing. There are always more to discover in life then walk the trodden path i guess.

20 November, 2007 - Mt. Elizabeth & Macaroons

Took leave today to go for all the necessary check-ups with Jervoise today. Though i feel like going to the sea side and cycle hahaha

We got there at 10am, went to three different clinics to talk to specialists about Jervoise recurring numbness in his right arm. The verdict - go for the operation. He is really worried about what might go wrong but at his age, it's better to put an end to this since it's affecting his life style...not that he is leading any active life style to speak of. By the time we left the hospital, it's almost 2pm and i am so hungry without breakfast, lunch and coffee *pengz*

Macaroons!!!




Bought 22 mararoons from Bakerzin at Paragon after all we are done with Mt Elizabeth..cost me like a dollar fifty each, so damn expensive BUT Jervoise, Jervis and me will sink our teeth into our first macaroon hahaha

Had lunch at Mr Bean in Selegie and after that we bought three pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream yay one Chubby Hubby each for Jervoise and Jervis, one Cherry Garcia for ME :) life is good wonderful. Once we got home, we ate the macaroons, the ice cream,the potatoe chips and the coca cola *burpz* LIFE IS GOOD and we are gluttons...

Such a lazy afternoon..watching dvd, lying around and day dream...and look at the nice view from the living room window.


End of day as a housecat *yawn*

18 November, 2007 - 不速之客

This is a very bad weekend. Went to Kembangan after leaving work at around 9pm because we were supposed to have supper with Duncan and Vivian. All i knew was Jeff will be working til the two of them arrived. And i waited indefinitely for somebody to call and confirm place and time with me. By 12.30am, no one called and just when i am about to go to the nearby seven-eleven store with Jervoise and Jervis, Jeff called and say to meet downstairs in five minutes...and instead of apoplogising about making me wait, jumped at me that i do not have to go if it's late. And we are to go Changi Village instead of Geylang. And we are going to Changi because we are going to meet Mandy. By the time we got there, his friends have already finished their food and i really wonder why the f**k do we still have to be there. I am really mad because i need to get up early on Saturday for community work and this i going to be those "not enough rest" weekend...actually i think i am more angry about the waiting bit than the not-enough-sleep bit. The waiting made me tired and sleepy...I was so angry i did not bother to conceal my anger. How can you not know exactly when, what time your guests arrives to stay and leave your apartment? This is very bad.

原本欢迎的客人，却变成不速之客

Yan meet us for lunch after community work and all of us went to Eddie's to do our hair. Wah spend 6 hours sitting there and 320 bucks to get it done. The hair therapy certainly cheer me up.

Skipped church for a weekend but felt like so many weeks...woke up at 9.30am this morning and Vivian was already awake. Said my "morning" and rushed to get ready. By the time i am done at 10, they have already left without saying good bye.

Anyway, Yan, please help me to find a seller for "you-know-what"

15 November, 2007 - The Pillowman

Felt lethargic and aimless and excited this morning...wondered if it's cos i have been spending too much time at work instead of making full use of my favourite months. If only i can really convince myself to just accept it that "chaser" is a norm 必须过我自己那管。。how can anyone send an email and call in less than 5 minutes to ask "did you see my email?" when the email has not even come in. I supposed once or twice is alright but not when this is a working style. Had lunch with Sean and his water polo friends at Mr Bean in Selegie today, so shiok to be in town on a weekday :)this should be the better way to live life, to take time to smell the roses...and use the thorns to prick the irritants hahaha

Had the "famous" curry katsu don in Stamford today with Rubes and Amy. Dinner was quite nice but i think it's kinda overpriced hmmm very excited today because we are finally going to watch The Pillowman...been waiting for almost 3 months for this play..now that the day has come, i can barely sit still the whole day...smiling to myself just at the thought of evening keke

We are so lucky our seats were second row from the stage. When Adrian Pang walk onto the stage for his scene, it was WOW. The play is good, damn good. Very poignant and thougts evoking. Adrian Pang look like a modern day ah beng complete with goatee, a hairful of gel and british accented English. Cool. "jiak kantang beng"

Tickle tests

What's Your Signature Color?
Germaine, your signature color is Pink Chiffon

There's nothing saccharine about you — your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a color that's soft and warm — but still has a subtle sophisticated sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored glasses, but you can still see, after all.

While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your Pollyanna-like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the world's a better place!

http://web.tickle.com/tests/signaturecolor/index.jsp
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What drives you?
Germaine, your Key Motivator, the thing that really drives you to success in life, is Experience.

Based on your answers about values, past behaviors, and internal priorities, we can tell you look for ways to be attractive, to indulge in sensual pleasure, to receive support or encouragement, or to be stimulated by your environment or activity. In addition, you may find that you're also motivated by aspects of prestige, stability, connection, and curiosity.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/selfmotivation/

12 November, 2007 - Gluttony weekend in KL

The power of speed and the rush of adrenalin...wah lau SHIOK lo muahahaha first time that i get to drive to KL and i this time i get to step hard on the accelerator and watch the speedometer goes from 90 to 100 to 110 to 120...and 170 :D you can never do this in Singapore. And it feels so good to be cutting lanes to get ahead, talk about being really, really focused. After that, it was cruising at 140-150. Anyway, 170 was the max that i went and JFK had to beat that at 180 :(

The important thing is, i get to eat the chicken rice balls from Malacca at this old "vintage" looking kopitiam, Chop Chung Wah,this rice ball thingy is something i have been dying to try but really, it's nothing fantastic...






The badly arranged plate of chicken haiz


Reached KL at about 3pm, by the time we checked into hotel Novotel, it was already almost 4pm...No time to waste, chop chop hurry to Jalan Bukit Bintan to get a foot reflexology. We were mistaken as students muahahaha "Boyfriend" got a full body massage and me a bad foot massage which gave me "blue black" on my shin and my toe hurts til now damn.

Dinner was a plate of fried mushroom salad (damn oily) and a plate of fried oyster.



The new shopping paradise, Pavillion :)


The perpetual bad traffic jam


Starbucks :) place where there are many zeh mo "ang mohs"


I bought many, many packets of tidbits..chilli cheese flavour from Mamee and vegetable crackers from Miaow Miaow GOOD Ate more tidbits than real food...no makmak food this time haiz

Left the city at 2.30pm and i get to drive again heehee since "boyfriend" is not feeling well and drowsy from the medication. Driving happily way above speed limit until i got caught by the POLIS!!! Best part is there is no fear hahaha no points are going to be deducted. He sprouted some Melayu to us, which we had no idea what he meant, and i heard "300ringgit for the fine but i help you la, 80ringgit can" We did not have enough ringgit and no way we are giving him Sing dollars so we tell him to go ahead and FINE US keke alamak that guy is a loser...think he must have been shocked that we asked him to go ahead and issue the summon..."ok ok, i give you chance, drive la, i no fine you" HAHAHAHAHA integrity saved us 80ringgit/300ringgit

Went Johor, 北京楼, to buy food for my family. Sumptuous meal of fried rice, hor fun, cereal prawns, herbal chicken, toufu, dou miao and gu lou yok..almost bought kong bak bao too hmmm
This is the second time that i had dinner in the new place :) the feeling is so strange...mum has returned the keys of Bedok Reservoir this morning at 10am...it's really good bye forever..

I wish "boyfriend" can take leave so that we can go somewhere for holiday... so disappointed that there won't be a Bali trip..sorry Rubes

Trust.......

Read this on my sista's blog...
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November 04
Do you?
Do you have secrets that you want to express but feel that you cannot tell anyone and no one will really understand how you feel? Do you wish that you have an outlet where you can vent your frustrations without feeling that the whole world is judging you? Do you feel aimless and unmotivated but somehow you know that you will managed it through? Do you want to be able to live your life to the fullest without hurting anyone close to you? Do you? I think we all do!
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Hey, i supposed i can say YES to all of the above. We all have secrets that we feel we can never share...for fear of being judged by the world. Sometimes, i feel i am too trusting...though i am selective of the people whom i share my heartfelt real thoughts, people who really can connect with me at a deeper level, at times, you just never know if what you have shared will become a discussion topic. I was just telling JFK this afternoon that to trust and get hurt, is better than not to trust at all... Fall, pick ourselves up and TRUST someone else lo heehee ;)
But remember what i always say...those who matter will not misunderstand, those who misunderstand, do not matter :)

Aimless and unmotivated...that's real common. Even uninspired, restless and freaking bored at times hahaha

Living life to our fullest without hurting anyone close to us...perhaps the word is to compromise...since we have no control to whatever is happening around us at times. We are often, if not always, living up to other people's expectation and doing what is expected of us. I have often wondered if we do so to justify the reason of our existence..or simply just to fit into society since no man is an island of his own. The "big" society consists of the whole world, the "small" society consists of our family, friends, colleagues and anyone who comes into contact with us for more than once. So...i hibernate once it awhile to keep my sanity.

So there, you are perfectly normal...let's go chill soon

Praise God yay yay yay

Here Without You by 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

9 November, 2007 - Happy Al'fungi day

Had a really good sleep yesterday and i am totally recharged when back at work today...mind is more alert, energy level is higher and spirit is higher :) i hope this last...and i am happy to see smiles on faces for having mushrooms for breakfast but oh dear...it's a little wee bit too hot...too much pepper aiyoh but i IS HAPPY..even my steps are happy steps

(My two newly acquired ear studs...i almost forgot all about them until i answered the phone using my right ear and it hurts like s**t!!)

Had retail therapy with Sarah today after work, she finally bought the powder that i have been raving about keke pity it's too late for more serious retail therapy...and chatted about suppliers over dinner. Shucks i blurted out that i regret exchanging one of my linecards for Bourns..i dislike it cos the lady is so cold and i feel no personal touch..Daryl, i really dislike it...should have speak up the last time they make me do the exchange right...when i had no peace..instead of always keeping everything to myself..really a bad habbit that i must change. Anyway shit man..i "pew chui" about what i think this evening...with Sarah, conversation is always light and easy. Hey she is going Malaysia next week, let's pray for her.

As i am updating my diary now, waiting for my hair to dry, i am excited about going to KL tomorrow heehee can't wait to hang out at Starbucks and chill. Time to do some serious thinking again...just like 2 years ago...time flies. Think, decide, bang, do ;) Yes swift and decisive, this time with God's blessing and help.

I am sorry about missing community work tomorrow morning and church service on Sunday.

Sometimes, i really wonder if there is more to life...and i miss dancing so badly...can't wait to get myself to the "postponed for a month" Powerhouse trip with Sean now man.. Rubes ;)

8 November, 2007 - Focus

Was so tired last night, i fell asleep with my make up on!!! Jialat liao, i am expecting a break out anytime...

Spent almost 200 bucks on lingerie today...and felt so liberated keke hey Rubes & Viv, check out E2, damn good place to shop for brassieres with good support ;) just being in the shop makes me feel so lucky to be a woman hahaha but have to be "violated" by the sales lady lo...she will have to see you naked in nothing but your bra top. 珍姐 helped with the selection and adjustment and so...seen all, touched all tsk tsk

Saw Viv's blog today...about me writing about "Emotional Detachment". You are so right about being focused. The whole week that i was feeling sick and "slow", my efficiency level drop and i have to listen to "xian, wana leave" and because i got myself attached to people, i couldn't function properly because i was really bothered. Really does not help that i am not feeling well and not getting enough sleep for so long...everything adds up and i just felt tired physically and mentally...plus i was really bored with life in general suddenly. And yesterday evening, despite feeling really tired and dying for some fun, i forced myself to stay back in the office and pushed myself to stay focus to clear my emails. It really worked...cos all i did was just stared at the screen and just work on it...half the time telling myself i've got to get it done. By the time it's 10, i am almost done with work and i felt so pleased with myself. Focus...means to just do your best single mindedly without allowing anyone or distractions to throw you off track. I totally agree with you that "天下无不散之宴席 and FOCUS is really the magic word that makes the difference to doing a lot of things and doing a lot of things well."

Yup, the bus stop theory ya haha i almost forgot about that...

Less Emotional = Rational, i think it's true in a certain way..I am emotional and very 随心随性, i follow my heart...especially when i am being irrational. Rational only happens when i want to get things done, i put away emotions and stay focus...but compared to you, i guess i would be labelled irrational hahaha Rubes as usual is a fine balance ;)

Hey i love you both *smuakz* and i wana have a hug when we meet up again. (jk, you owe me one too)

Daryl always say, FOCUS ON GOD, leave it to Him and let Him do the rest. I must get this into my head.

6 November, 2007 - Two titanium studs

I am sick before even recovering from the the cough...have regained my voice but now i have flu and a phlegmy cough :( and i am feeling lethargic and unhappy...sick for almost three months arrrghhhh. Am really tired and listless...

My phone is finally ready for collection today yippee yay Because they loaned me a faulty charger thus i am not able to charge the "on-loan" phone, and they are unable to fix the crooked sliding case, i get to have a new phone *grinz* No more crookedness and no more fading navigation key :)) Sick, listless but happy cat kekeke Happier when i saw a big sale going on in Topshop, Dorothy Perkins and FCUK wah lau zeh moz :D i am a shopaholic heh heh

Walked past Bedazzle and saw an advertisment about ear piercing...walked in, selected a pair of titanium studs and bang, got myself two studs in the ear cartilage. Hurt like s**t but i think it's worth the pain. Took me less than ten minutes to decide to get one stud and less than five minutes to get another one...might as well pierced two studs since the earrings came in a pair
muahahaha (i might have some sadistic streaks in me??? when feeling under the weather, feel pain to spice things up hahaha) Wish i can get a tattoo on my ankle ahhhhhhh

Saw this on Ch U, damn cheem and so real:-
我们的眼睛往往看外界太多，看心灵太少。。。快乐是找到内心的安宁。

Life is.......

Once upon a time in Singapore, in a corner tucked away in a little corner of a school canteen, there stood a liitle boy. He was staring intensely at a fish tank, watching the fishes swim. Then suddenly, he dipped his hands into the tank, grabbed a dead fish and put it into his mouth.

And the story unravelled...here is a ten years boy who was badly neglected at home...a broken family. Desparation and hunger made him eat the dead fish from the tank.
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An old lady, whose mind is still active but her body is showing signs of weaknesses. Old and lonely...whose only companion is her house mate. Both sat at void decks every other day...the only thing to look forward in life is the 3 hours gathering every Saturday
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An eight year old little girl, whose parents were divorced. She stayed with her dad and step-mum...that is until dad got thrown in prison and step-mum remarries. Now, living with step-mum and step-dad, she goes to school alone. An eight year old girl who has to watch out for traffics and go to school alone. One day, on her way to school, she was almost raped by a stranger...but she was saved by the screams of her classmate. Step-parents will not care because there is only so much love they can shower on her. She still walks to school alone..i supposed.
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Life is when you know survival is everything.

Thank God i remembered all the stories just when my head is swimming with all kinds of thoughts. The very driving force that made me joined CCSS. The ability to be able to serve others...to make myself useful...to society, to family, to friends and at work.

Perservere and continue to stay focus and do my best. Just like Noah...there wasn't any rain when he was building the ark. He just kept believing in God and built the ark despite being laughed at. Great faith. People disappoint always, God is always steadfast and faithful in His love.

I hope i will not lose my passion for life...not now please

MY CHILD, I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU.

5 November, 2007 - Blurry Monday

Pained - was how i felt yesterday when i know Jervoise is taking that fling one step closer to home.

Helplessness - was how i felt when i see mum worried and bothered because of the fling

Anger - was when i realised there is really nothing much i can do besides wondering why in the world did this happen

Frustrations - is how i felt today at work

Confusion - is what's going on in my head after hearing so many negativity

Fed Up - is how i am feeling right now at this moment

Disappointments - something that i must learn to accept

Optimism - something that i always have, thank God

I should really start to pray and stay focused. And perhaps be in hibernation mode. And start praying for doors to be opened and be shown directions. And repeat the mantra "Leave everything to Him"...and honestly believe in it. Perhaps i have not been spending enough time alone with Him last week...and the restless monster is here to attack.

Tomorrow will be a better day :)